The Control Play Between Energy Fields - Four Energy Stealers (Part 2)

Indifferent

The Aloof has a slightly more positive control scene than the passive beggar. When we start a conversation with someone and find that the other person is always evasive, we know that we have entered the energy field of an apathetic person. Apathetic people always appear arrogant and cold when talking to others, making people feel unfathomable and profound. If we inquired about his background and experience, he would answer us vaguely: "I've been to a few places."

To keep the conversation going, we had to ask, "Well, where the hell have you been?" and the answer we got was, "A lot of places."

Here, we clearly see the tactics employed by the "indifferent". Apathetic people deliberately create a hazy, mysterious atmosphere to hide themselves, forcing us to devote a great deal of energy to unearth information that is usually available in small talk. In this case, we will put our whole mind on the person, looking at the world around him through his eyes, trying to understand his background, so that our energy will be directed towards him as he wishes Flow there.

But we must remember that not everyone who evades and refuses to provide personal information is playing an "indifference drama". Some people may have to remain anonymous for some reason. Everyone has the right to privacy, and they have the right to decide how much information to share with others.

Using apathy as a strategy to grab energy is something else entirely. For those who play the role of the "indifference," it is a means of manipulating others -- luring us into their world while keeping us thousands of miles away. If we decide that the person doesn't want to talk to us and turn our attention elsewhere, the "indifferent" will often come back to talk to us; energy continues to flow to them.

Like the Beggar, the strategies and tactics of the Indifferent are formed in childhood. Apathetic people are usually unable to communicate with others and share everything they want from a young age, because doing so is dangerous and can have dire consequences. In such an environment, the apathetic person learns to be vague when speaking in order to entice others to listen to their conversation and to extract energy from others. Like the beggar, the strategy of the apathetic is based on an unconscious set of assumptions and perceptions about the world around them. In the mind of the apathetic, the world is full of untrustworthy people with whom he cannot share private personal information. Those who are indifferent are worried that once this information is leaked out, they will be used by caring people to deal with and criticize them. Likewise, this set of assumptions radiates from the apathetic, influencing the events of everyday life and thus fulfilling their unconscious intentions.

How to deal with the "indifferent"

To deal effectively with those who play the "indifference drama", we must send energy to them from the very beginning, as we deal with beggars. Sending the energy of love to the apathetic without taking a defensive posture relieves the pressure on the other person and prompts them to stop manipulating us. Once the pressure is lifted, we can debunk the game the other party is playing, communicate openly with them, make them aware of the play they are playing, and openly review and discuss it.

As with beggars, we can expect two very different responses. First, the apathetic who is challenged by us may flee the interaction, cutting off all lines of communication. Of course, this is a risk we have to take, because without decisive action, the game will surely continue to be played, endlessly. In this case, we can only hope that our candor will lead to new modes of interaction that will eventually make the other person aware.

Another reaction of the indifferent is to continue to communicate with us, but deny that he is deliberately pretending to be unpredictable. In this case, we must investigate whether his claims are true. If we have confidence in our own cognition, we should stick to our stance and continue to dialogue with him, hoping to establish a new mode of interaction through proper communication.

interrogator

A more active type of control play is performed by the Interrogator. In modern society, this kind of behavioral drama is the most popular and common. The typical interrogator uses criticism as a means of manipulating and extracting energy from others.

In front of an interrogator, we always feel awkward, feeling that our every move, every word and deed is being closely monitored. We also felt forced to play someone who was incapable of handling our own day-to-day lives. We feel this way because the interrogator is always trying to pull us into the reality he has created, forcing us to believe that in a world where most people make mistakes every day, it is his job to correct others' deviations Behavior. For example, he will say to you, "You know what, your dress is too sloppy, and it doesn't match your status and occupation." Or, "I noticed that you don't clean the house very often!" This kind of person doesn't like everything, and he finds faults in others all day long, and he even cares about how others work and how they talk. His purpose is nothing more than to catch us off guard and be overwhelmed by his criticism, so that he can take advantage of our energy.

The tactics of the interrogators are also unconscious. They find faults in other people's words and deeds, and force them to adopt his criticism and accept his worldview. Once this trick succeeds, we will be forced to see everything through his eyes, measure our behavior by his standards, and give him the energy of ourselves without reservation. The goal of the interrogator is to judge and dominate the lives of others. Therefore, as soon as the interaction between the two sides begins, the interrogator will often be immediately overwhelmed, accept the interrogator's worldview, and transmit his energy to the other side endlessly.

Like several other "control plays," the interrogator's play is based on a worldview full of assumptions and prejudices. In the eyes of such a person, our world is chaotic and unsafe; he has to keep an eye on everyone's attitudes and behaviors, and be ready to correct them. In this world, he's a hero - everyone is drunk and I am alone. Interrogators often come from families that lack a parental figure or where the child's needs are not valued. In an unsafe environment with lack of energy, if children want to attract the attention of their family members and obtain the energy they need, there is only one way: to point out the mistakes of others in words and deeds at any time, and criticize the behavior of their family members.

When such children grow up, they will bring into society the worldview and outlook on life formed in their childhood; over time, this set of assumptions and prejudices will come true in their lives.

How to deal with an "interrogator"

Faced with a person who is playing the role of an "interrogator," remember to stay calm, stand your ground, and tell him how you feel and what you think about him. Just like dealing with the "indifferent" and "the beggar", we must try our best to avoid taking a defensive posture; we should send him the energy of love, and at the same time explain to him gently that he should not monitor and criticize us casually.

The interrogator will also have several different responses. First, he might deny that he was deliberately trying to blame us, even though we had all the evidence in front of him. At this time, we should reflect on ourselves: maybe we are too sensitive and too hearty, but in fact he does not mean to ridicule or criticize us. After reflection, if we feel that our views are correct, we should stick to our position, communicate with him, and hope that the two sides can have a sincere and rational dialogue.

Another response from the interrogators was a rebuke, accusing us of being deliberate. Once that happens, we have to ask ourselves whether his allegations are true, and as long as we have a clear conscience, we can continue to discuss our feelings and opinions about him with him. The interrogator's third response is to argue. He will keep saying that his criticism is well-founded, and we blame him for finding fault because we dare not face our own faults and shortcomings. Once again, we have to reflect on ourselves, and if we are confident in our position and views, we should present some concrete examples before the interrogator, proving that his criticism of us is inappropriate or even unnecessary. .

In everyday life, everyone encounters situations where we sense that someone else is doing something stupid that is obviously not beneficial to them, and then we feel like we should step in and point out their faults and inadequacies. The key is how to intervene. I think we should learn to give advice in a very tactful, humble way, like, "If my car tires wear out like this, I'll definitely buy a new set." or "I've had the same thing happen to me before." I was so angry that I quit my current job before I could find a new one, and I regretted it too much.”

There are many ways to intervene. The most important thing is not to let the other party be overwhelmed and lose confidence, just like the interrogator did, and we must explain this difference to the interrogator. This person might get angry, break up with us, and walk away, but in order to stay true to our experience, we must take that risk.

coercion

Among the control dramas that are constantly being staged in the world, the most active and aggressive one is "the Intimidator". As soon as we enter the energy field of such a person, we experience a shudder, a rapid loss of energy, as if we were in danger. In an instant, the world became dangerous and out of control. The bully will usually say something or do something that suggests to you that their anger can flare up at any time. They'll relish and triumphantly tell us who he's repaired. Sometimes, emotionally out of control, they will suddenly go crazy, pick up things on the table and throw them at us, or even smash furniture. The strategy and goal of coercists is to draw our attention and thereby rob us of our energy; in order to achieve this, they create an environment in which we are threatened, forcing our full attention to them. If we feel that the person in front of us will be out of control and crazy at any time, we will inevitably be careful and observe his every move. When talking to such people, we usually conform to their point of view and dare not raise objections. Once we see the world around us through the eyes of the coercion, and try to explore their intentions for our own protection, they will draw from us the energy they desperately need.

Coercive tactics and strategies are usually developed during childhood in an environment of extreme energy deprivation. This type of control play often involves other coercors in the family, such as tyrannical parents or bullying brothers and sisters; in order to regain lost energy, children are often forced to retaliate and retaliate. The tactic of begging for pity doesn't work, because no one likes it; if you pretend to be reserved and play the role of "indifferent", you will not be noticed, because others have no time to pay attention to these things; interrogators,” criticizing the family’s words and deeds will only provoke a scolding or beating; in this case, the child has to grit his teeth, endure the loss of energy, and then try to retaliate when he grows up, turning into another coercion By.

The world in the eyes of the coercion is full of aimless, unbridled violence and hatred. In such a world, everyone is indulging in boundless loneliness and absolute loneliness, fighting and rejecting each other, and this is exactly the impact of childhood experiences and feelings on the life of the "coercist". This control drama is passed on from generation to generation.

How to deal with "coercists"

We must be extra cautious in the face of coercion. Because the danger is obvious and immediate, we generally try to avoid appearing in front of such people. If you're in a long-term relationship with a bully, I suggest you seek professional help. In terms of therapy, the means and actions we should take are basically the same as those for the other three types of "control drama" performers. We must make the other person feel safe, actively channel our energy to them, and then step by step guide the bully to face the nature of the drama they are performing. Unfortunately, many coercors are still wandering in the society today, without any professional help or counseling. They wallowed in fear and anger, unable to extricate themselves.

Many of these people later became criminals and went to jail. It's certainly sensible to isolate these people from society, but a penal system that only puts such people in jail and then releases them without any treatment is not really clear The root cause of the problem, of course, is not to mention the fundamental solution to the problem.

if you haven't read part one go here