Spring Cleaning

Why do we spend so much time obsessively cleaning? We clean our homes, cars, offices, boats, etc. We’ve even dedicated an entire season to it – spring cleaning. In case you’re unaware, allegedly March 19-25 is national cleaning week; who knew there was a national cleaning week!? As much as I dislike cleaning, I must admit there is something cathartic about it — although if I’m totally being honest, it's just my way to justify buying more stuff.

This year, I have decided to tackle one of my biggest cleaning projects: my purse. Bulging excessively, my purse has become too unwieldy for me to lug around without judgmental stares. Perhaps it’s the sheer weight causing me to hunch over like Quasimodo that has people eyeballing me in disgust, or the scraps of paper that arbitrarily fly out of my purse at the most inopportune times. Okay, so cleaning out my purse may not be considered REAL cleaning per se, however, I consider it a personal triumph. And don’t we all need a little win from time-to-time, or was that wine?

The first thing to go is the credit card, gas and grocery store receipts that I have accumulated over the past months. Why? I confess, I’m not vigilant about verifying my receipts. I don’t really know why I keep them in the first place. What I can say is that I am compelled to keep them just in case. Just in case of what? I don’t have a solid answer.

Next in my purse purge is a category I file under oddities. This includes an empty Arctic Peppermint Altoids tin, a broken watch strap, two squished nutrition bars, five pieces of Root Beer barrel candy, and a large shell. I’m not totally clear how the shell ended up at the bottom of my purse, but it did. I’m also painfully aware that the candy cancels out the nutrition bars. It was a weak moment, don’t judge.

Oh, I’m not done! There is also a ragged pack of Post-It notes, and pens. When I say pens, I’m not talking about one or two, I’m talking about seven to be exact. Ironically, I can never find a pen when I really need one. Finally, there’s my bottle of antibacterial gel. I know, having a bottle of antibacterial gel in my cluttered purse is a huge contradiction, akin to saying, “I’ll have the vegetarian meatball.” However, there is something oddly comforting in believing that I can fight 99.9% of all germs with just one squeeze.

Finally, I’m tossing out all the silly scraps of paper and business cards with names I no longer recognize. I don’t even remember meeting these people, yet I have their business cards. I often ask myself why did I keep a blue Post-It with the word “beef” on it for so long? And another that says, “pick up laundry.” Did I ever pick up the laundry? Sure, it’s a bit unsettling to have accumulated so many scraps of paper at the bottom of my purse. Does this make me a purse hoarder? On the bright side, if I stood on a tall building and dumped out my purse the falling paper would resemble a magnificent ticker tape parade.

And with that, I proudly say… fellow cleaning warriors, don your yellow rubber gloves and go forth. May you scrub, toss, organize, and disinfect your world to new heights. May your home, car, office, boat, etc. sparkle. And if all this seems like a daunting task, toss a few scraps of paper from your cluttered purse into the trash and call it a day.