Marketplace Manners

My name is Kendall Defoe and I am addicted to Marketplace.

Okay, with that out of the way…

I have been using Marketplace on Zuckerberg’s app for too long now to not comment on it. For those of you not in the know, this is the section of that particular social medium where you can sell and buy the old, the unwanted, the unworn, and the unneeded items and objects that clutter the home and mind. And I know what some of you are thinking: do you even Craigslist, bro? I did, until I began to feel as though I was entering a pawn shop full of products that seemed to have fallen off the back of a truck. I knew that there was a problem when I looked for work on the page and was offered a contract…as soon as I delivered something for someone anonymous vendor. It would be better to stick with a page that only wanted to see and buy garbage, not offer me the chance to be jailed or have my bank account drained.

So, Marketplace…

And it has been a wonderful relationship…sort of. I must say, if you have not dived in, there are rules and notes that need to be shared if you have not yet taken a look. Like any online forum, so people simply did not get the memo and it shows. So, dear reader, I have taken it upon myself to come up with ten rules that I feel will make you life easier if you decide to use this particular FB tab.

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And here we go:

1. Always check out the details of the product: I don’t know why this is so difficult for certain sellers, but you need to post more information about the products you’re selling. And we have to read them. What size are those shoes and shirts? How old are those dusty and forgotten tchotchkes that may have been keepsakes that your family would rather keep? Keep the buyer informed, dealers.
2. Above the waist is good; below the waist is bad: Okay, I will explain myself. There are many items of clothing available that are tempting, like shirts, hats, ties, jeans… Ah, jeans. Pants can be tempting if you really do see something unique or unaffordable in any other context. But really…do you want to wear a pair of pants from strangers online? Do you think that they are selling those items just because they did not fit? I trust people to a point, and I have bought shoes, but even I have a limit. Nothing below the equator for me, folks…
3. Shop local: Now, look, I know that everyone has their own rules – written and unwritten, mostly – about where they will spend their money, but I think that you should try to stick with your town, city or basic district. Travelling across a time zone to get a Pokemon t-shirt is a bridge that I refuse to cross. Besides, you will probably learn more about the place you call home if you shop through the postings of neighbours you never knew you had. It has its upside, and down, but take that chance.
4. Wait outside: I have spent a bit of time in front of apartments awaiting the seller to appear while the weather was unbearably cold or wet or humid. And I have stared at vestibules and hallways with the temptation to step inside also being unbearable. You must resist the idea that you should rush in, even if another tenant wonders why you are enjoying Mother Nature’s worst moments before a sale. Take a pause, and just wait.
5. Use one number only: This is something that I have noticed when contacting a seller about a product. They are using MP for the deal, but they now want you to use another number after they have set up a time to sell the product. Really? Why? I have my phone and you have yours, but we’ve been texting. Why change the game as the sale gets settled? It is a quirk that some of you need to drop.
6. Do not stay for a chat: Maybe this is just me, but I have been in situations where I have gone for a product, made the deal, and ended up having a longer-than-necessary chat about all and everything you could imagine. I get it, people. Some of you are rather lonely, but I do not know you and the texting back and forth before the sale does not make us old buddies. I am thinking of one particular incident where I felt like I was on some sort of candid camera set with one guy determined to bend and break my ear with his tales and interrogation techniques. End it and get going.
7. Try daylight hours: This is, again, maybe just something that I have to deal with, but I rarely feel safe travelling out with cash to buy something on a public street when the sun is down. Yes, I know that you can do a cash transfer online – I’ve done a few – but I feel much more confident handing over the money in person. And I also feel like I need to see what is around me, even when heading back to old neighbourhoods I used to patronize and live in…maybe especially so in those places. Get it done before the sun heads west.
8. Check and compare: Like anything else on the web, once you visit and type in a particular item you are looking for, you will get a series of messages from dealers who are selling the same product, or at least the same sort of product. If you can save money, even on an app designed for people who want to just get rid of the old and unwanted in their homes, please do so. A deal is a deal, and it is still a free market.
9. Do not make it a habit: Okay, this is the one rule that I have been breaking. My daily phone time includes far too much staring at the dealings of the MP world. It is very hard for me to resist certain things – books, stationery, furniture (good thing here is that no one wants to deliver; a real deterrent for me), etc. – and the loose change that I have for just such deals is not going to spend itself. But please be careful: do you really need a glow-in-the-dark poncho that has only been used during one marathon five years ago? Buyer, be aware. And finally…
10. Add to the list: Yes, it is an old cheat of mine, but you should not have to follow all of my rules without thinking about the things that you have learned if you have used the page and shopped and sold items online. I am very curious about what you have learned and I propose that you add comments for all of us to learn and understand what this particular page can do well, and what needs to be improved. Send it in!

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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