I love paying bills

Bills are not going away no matter what you think. I remember being a very young girl. Loving to see my savings jar fill up. I watched my mom month after month make sure we were fed and sheltered. I had no idea what life was like at the time. I do know when I got a little change here and there it was like gold. Still as a child I had no idea what was going on.

What brings me joy all today at 53 years old is paying bills. Did I mention I am on ssi living on less than $900 a month? I hope not because it is truly important. I have gone through some rough patches along the way. One of the worst was losing my home to find myself sleeping in my car. You know when life deals you a hit like that. You lay back and cry a little but inside. inside, I was screaming. The one blessing... my mom took in my daughter. I kept my gym membership while my car insurance was paid. I had a shower each day sometimes twice.

I prayed with my soul not to sell my body to put a roof over my head. I might not have been given everything. That one I was. I hold it dear to my heart. I hold no judgement to anyone I just had wishes of my own is all. I would almost bet I would lay on my back to feed my minor child. I just thank my mom for giving me the knowledge to use my crafts instead. I am addicted to greeting cards. But that is not for today.

This morning I woke up and I saw $ 13 + change in my account. Where did it come from? Right now I have no idea. I forgot the change but it is ok it will come back to me. I was beyond happy in ways only my mom would understand. Oh, my second mom too. Bj would laugh up a storm because she knows my joy. I went to Temu.com to buy supplies to make key chains.

I took my sweet time to make sure I got enough to make and store them. yes it was a part of my morning that brought true joy to me. Using my mind to flip my $13 like a crack dealer on the corner with his jeans almost to his knees. I love it. I always say I am a grinder and I love it. My brother skeet would always say you're a hustler. I also knew it and loved that he knew it too.

My nephew gives me the best joy because he has uplifted me in all things hustler. Kyle thank you for that. My shopping cart was way over $13 because last night I had begun to fill it for the other needs of mine. I had to remove a lot but it can be bought at a later time. My order came to the desired total so I hit the cash out button. I then had a rush of blessings flow through my heart. I bought my goods. I will flip my money and pay more bills. I had $1.13 cents left in my account for the month.

I went to bill pay and sent it straight to my car insurance. Hell yeah you read that right. And this is where Bj would be cracking up. My mom would be clapping inside with her head laid back. You see when I was young I was outside running, jumping anything to keep from learning to cook. Boy can Claudine cook. I love my mom. Not because she gave birth to me. I think that is a give-in. Because my mom taught me to grind. Read and use my mind.

The years I recall being a mom of a young child. I had her at the dining table with money orders and envelopes. I taught my daughter at a young age to be the best she could be to know bills come first. I always hear people say they pay themselves first. I can't do it no matter what I want including food. I pay my bills first. I just can't under any circumstances it is not in me. No matter how I try. Trust me I have. I have learned my roof is more important to me than anything in a store.

But I must say I actually ordered a few clothing items last month. Yes the first in so many years. I have two shirts a pretty dress and a pair of leggings on the way. Bj is always getting on me about wearing my house dressings outside. I am going to dress in real clothing a few days this Summer. I love it. Each item I ordered was less than $7. That was truly hard to do. But trust me call me anything you want. You won't see me crying. I love you Claudine and bj for always loving me enough to teach me something every single day. My mom told me how to make a dish with spam. Frugal is my soul's enjoyment. Love you always Mom.

Bj, I am working hard on something and you will be proud. Thank you for reading this far. shays_creations