How To Stop Overthinking

Do you tend to dwell on things? Things that may not even be important soon? Things that make it so you can’t breathe? You can’t think about anything else? Same.

I’m working on not overthinking things, and I have to say it’s actually going pretty well! I’ve been able to drastically lower my anxiety, get out of my head more often, and really live in the present. It has not been easy but it has been so incredibly worth it. I wanted to share a few tips that could help you to stop, or at least greatly lessen, your over-thinking.

Notice when you’re starting to spin.

This can take some practice, but when you’re starting out with this tactic, just notice and acknowledge that you are starting to spin and overthink. You don’t need to take any action if you are still looking to identify when you are starting to spin. Identifying it is step one. It is incredibly helpful to notice when it starts, identify the trigger, and eventually work on stopping the spin.

When you are familiar with identifying the start of a spin, you can start to identify the trigger. What was the thought that started this? Was it a statement from someone else? What was said? Why did this make you spin? When you are able to figure out what the root of this is, it is easier to get out of it. “Oh, I was starting to spin because my friend was talking about her new fad diet and how fat she is so I started comparing myself and my meals to her.” It might not always be that easy but that’s an example of one.

Sometimes it’ll be more difficult to pinpoint the issue and that is totally fine. The goal of this exercise is to bring more self awareness to how your brain is working and how you are feeling in the situation. When you are more equipped to identify the triggers that cause you to spin, you are able to take a minute and maybe even stop it before it starts. Again, this takes practice but it is so worth it

Write down the problem and real solutions

If you are overthinking about challenges such as money, or living situation, or something along those lines, it can really help to write down what the problem is, and what real plausible solutions to the problem are. If you are worried about money, a solution can be to revisit and reevaluate your budget. Maybe getting a second job. Maybe selling extra stuff that you have. Selling a kidney, not so plausible. Starting a successful side hustle right off the bat, also probably not super plausible.

You can also write down the silly solutions to maybe get yourself to laugh a little bit! Whatever is going to get you into a better mindset to be able to tackle your challenges. You can also always ask friends and family for their ideas on solutions. It’s easier to come up with things when you have more than one brain.

Write down your thoughts and challenge them.

If you have a scenario similar to the “my friend just mentioned her fad diet”, something incredibly helpful can be to write down the thoughts you are having and challenge them. For example, if you think you need to hop on your friends bandwagon of, let’s say keto, think if that’s really what you want. Do you like carbs? Yes. Do you want to cut them out? No! Do you like high fat foods? No, they hurt my stomach. So is Keto the right diet for you? Nope. Obviously you may have different answers and maybe that approach to eating is a good option for you! In which case, that would also stop the spinning and give you something to research and look into.

Challenging negative thoughts is incredibly difficult especially when you are used to just agreeing with them and moving on. This is another tactic that will take practice but the reward will be so worth it! When you’re able to actually challenge and disprove a negative thought you feel so empowered. I still struggle with this on a regular basis but it is getting easier as the time goes on. My self esteem and body image have improved which in turn made my quality of life and overall mental health drastically improve!

If it helps you to literally write down your thoughts and feelings in one column and challenge them in a second one that is totally okay! You’ll eventually get to a point where you can do it in your head fairly quickly and just move on with your day.

Journal daily

This one I cannot stress enough. I don’t do it as often as I really should, but when I do I just feel so much lighter. No matter what kind of day you had, just free writing and letting your thoughts flow is so cathartic. It can really help you process things that may be stuck way back in your brain that you didn’t know was still bugging you. It’s especially helpful when you do have something bugging you or you’re in a bad mood and you maybe don’t know the cause of it.

I tend to like to journal at the beginning or end of my day. This way I have either slept on yesterday and have the ability to write down and process anything that might still be lingering, or anything that maybe bothered me more than I thought it did originally. Or, I have gone through a whole day and it is fresh in my mind and therefore easier to write about. It would be ideal to journal in the morning and at night, and I am definitely working on making that a priority.

Journaling is just one way to dump out all of your thoughts and feelings, get it all out on paper, and be able to move past anything negative. I used to think that journaling wasn’t going to helpful for me, and then I actually started doing it daily and realized just how instrumental it was for my daily mental reset. Honestly, I cannot stress enough how important it is to get everything out one way or another!

Change your focus until you can revisit the problem

This is meant to be a temporary fix, however it can be incredibly helpful in the moment if you are able to do it. If you’re trying to make a decision and you start to spiral and overthink, and you have the option, stop. Now I don’t mean “just make a decision, stop overthinking”, because that is so unhelpful. What I mean is, start thinking about something else. If you’re able to, put that decision on the back burner and focus on something else that you can solve without getting too panicked. Change the subject, go to a different task on your to do list, do whatever you can to just pause that situation and revisit it later.

I’ve had times where people are trying to pressure me to decide something and in that specific situation or environment it makes me incredibly anxious which in turn makes me even more indecisive than I typically am. In times like this, it can be beneficial to put it on pause (again, only if you can) and move onto something else until you are in an environment where it is easier for you to breathe and make the decision.

If you are in a situation where you cannot pause and revisit the problem, sometimes telling those around you, or texting a loved one, that you are having difficulty focusing and deciding can be the help you need. Open up your toolbox and give your mom a call. Text your best friend. Do whatever you need to do to be able to take a breath, make the decision and move on.

Become present in the moment

This is something that has seriously helped my anxiety as well as my overthinking. I’ve had times where I’m laying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep and all of a sudden I think of something I have to do tomorrow, or next week and BOOM! Anxiety attack. When I notice that this is happening, I do a trick that I call the 5 4 3 2 1 trick. It’s a fairly common grounding technique and I have found it to be the most helpful when I am trying to remain present, or become present.

For this trick all you do is point out (outloud or in your mind, whatever is most comfortable for you) 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel (this can be your clothing, the ground, your shoes, the chair you’re sitting in, anything to bring your attention to your immediate surroundings) 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

I’ve had friends do this before when their anxiety is acting up for any reason, or no reason at all, and they’ve told me it has helped them a ton. If I’m doing it when I’m trying to sleep I just don’t say 5 things I can see because typically, my eyes are closed. Either way, it is so helpful to stop the spiral because now, mentally, you are in the present moment and you don’t have to worry about that presentation at work next week, because it’s not next week, it’s today.

Think realistically about how important this problem is

Sometimes, a problem seems so much bigger than it really is. For example, forgetting to charge your apple watch for a day while you’re in a challenge with your friend seems so frustrating and like the end of the world. In reality, it doesn’t affect your life trajectory. It doesn’t really negatively impact any aspect of your life. Yes, it’s annoying. But it doesn’t actually take anything away from your life.

Yes your salad was made wrong, but are you going to remember that a month from now? A year from now? Is it going to affect you in any way tomorrow? No. Really putting a problem you are facing into perspective can stop the thought process of “Oh my goodness, they didn’t take the tomatoes off of my salad. Now I can’t even eat this, I’m not even hungry anymore. This is just what happens in my life, I can never have anything I want. I was just craving this salad and they didn’t listen to the one request I had. They are way too tiny to pick out, this is just disgusting now. My whole day is ruined!”. Instead, you can do “Oh dang it they put tomatoes on it. Let me try the salad with them. Nope, I still don’t like tomatoes. Oh well, I’ll eat around it. It’s really not a huge deal.”

If it is a problem that will affect you in the future, for example, you lost your job. This is a time when my second tip comes in handy. Write down your problem and then problem solve with realistic solutions. In either situation, there is an opportunity to play the victim “I never get anything I want, I can’t have anything nice, etc”, OR you can sit down, take a breath, and make a plan. You can make the best of the situation and keep going.

Take some deep breaths

I’m not going to say “someone’s always got it worse than you”, but I am going to say, take some deep breaths, and just sit with the anxiety. Sometimes, shit is going to hit the fan, things are going to suck, and no matter how many grounding techniques you try, you are going to spiral. The best thing you can do, is sit with it. It is going to pass. The anxiety will not be with you forever. The panic is not going to last until you die. It is temporary. The more you fight it, and try to ignore it, the larger it is going to get.

Next time you are in a spiral you can’t get out of, I challenge you to just sit down. Think to yourself “I am feeling some anxiety, I will not feel this forever.” Just keep breathing. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out. One breathing pattern that can help while you’re trying to just sit with the feeling is breathing in for a slow count of 4, holding your breath for 1 count, breathing out for a slow count of 4 and then holding your breath for 1 count. My therapist did this one time when I was getting really anxious and it really helps reset your mind and your breathing.

I really hope these tips were helpful. Overthinking and stressing out over everything is not only exhausting, but it takes up valuable space in your mind that can be put to much better use. I promise, if you practice these every time you’re feeling some anxiety, it will improve your mental health. It is always recommended to reach out to those closest to you as well as medical professionals if needed! Sometimes we need that extra help.

Take some deep breaths, and enjoy your day!