How to Share Your Opinion When You’re Terrified of Conflict

One of the most common pieces of advice I read on ideation and brainstorming topics to write about is to write about what makes you angry. I always cringe a little when I read this; I am notorious for picking harmless topics that no one can get offended over. I’m so afraid of conflict that I avoid controversial topics like they’re medieval plague doctors. I avoid subjects that I want to write about because I’m afraid of the reaction I’ll get.

Here’s the thing; writing about what makes you angry is common writing advice because it’s good writing advice. You aren’t going to run out of content if you’re writing from the heart. It also makes it incredibly easier to infuse your work with your unique voice.

But if you’re like me and you don’t like conflict, you’re going to have a hard time writing about the things that get you fired up. However, avoiding those topics is doing yourself a disservice. To be a content writer today, you need to write about the things that make you angry. You need to write about the things you really care about. If you don’t, you’re going to burn out and run out of content very, very soon.

Now, let’s get on to the good news. Even if you’re paralyzed in fear in the face of conflict, there are certain techniques and strategies you can employ to increase your power of persuasion. They make sharing your opinion a lot less scary.

Back up your opinion with research.

This is part of the basics of persuasion; if you’re writing about something controversial or something deeply steeped in your personal opinion, find some kind of science or data that can back it up.

We live in the information age. Some call it the misinformation age because there’s just so much information out there. However, if you share your opinion and find reputable, unbiased research to back it up, it will make your opinion a lot more sound. When researching, it’s important to avoid biased websites or publications.

You might even learn something new and interesting along the way. As you research, you might even find some things that contradict your opinion. This is all part of the learning experience.

Seek out reputable research studies.

Reputable scientific journals or data-collecting organizations are your best friends in the research world. If you’re doing anything scientific, it’s also essential to make sure the studies you find are relatively recent. A paper could be published in a well-respected journal, but if the paper is twenty years old, there’s a good chance there’s some outdated information in the study.

The importance of reputable sources is vital. For example, let’s say you’re writing about abortion. Your arguments will be stronger if you cite scientific studies conducted by unbiased doctors rather than pulling random quotes or stats from websites that are very obviously either pro-life or pro-choice.

Being able to offer some kind of science or data to your reader adds to the legitimacy of your opinion. If you can back yourself up, your reader will know that you’ve done your homework on the topic. They will know that you have an informed opinion that you’re hoping to share with others. It inspires a lot more confidence and makes for more effective persuasion.

Acknowledge the other side’s arguments.

This is a tried-and-true technique from persuasive essay writing, but there’s more to it than your high school teacher or English 101 professor might’ve told you. I’ve always been an ambitious little thing and one of my literature professors read a 15-page research paper I wrote. He knew I aspired to go on to grad school, so he sat down with me and asked me a blunt question.

“This paper is good. It is excellent for your level. But do you want to know what separates it from being an undergraduate paper versus a graduate thesis?”

Of course, I wanted to know. I started nodding my head vigorously from the point he said separates.

He explained that the truest way to defend your stance—whether it’s in your thesis defense or when writing a persuasive essay on the internet—is acknowledging the other argument.

You need to acknowledge differing opinions. You need to explain them and make them known to your reader; this will prevent people from coming up to you and going “Okay, sure, that’s a nice opinion on X, but what about Y?”

You acknowledge the other side’s argument. You even tell your reader about those opposing opinions. Then, in my professor’s words, you crush the opposition with the soundness of your research-driven theory. Acknowledging the other side and calmly explaining why that opposing theory or opinion is wrong will leave your reader feeling a thousand times more confident in your argument.

If you can’t acknowledge the other side without ruining your argument, then—as horrible as this sounds—this might be a sign that you need to rethink your opinion.

Always be civil.

Don’t resort to mudslinging, overuse of profanity, or speaking ill of whoever is on the opposite side of your opinion river. Sarcasm can be fun to write, but if you want to respect your readers and potential naysayers, it’s important not to overdo the sarcasm either.

This is incredibly important when you’re writing about opinions. It’s also hard to do when you’re trying to write about the things that matter most to you, the things that make you angry. But you need to channel that emotion into thorough analysis and then present that in a reasonable, level-headed tone.

Being polite, civil, and when applicable—grateful—can go a long way. Whether you’re writing a blog, any sort of web content, or doing something more professional, civility and gratitude can really transform things.

If you stay civil and fair when discussing these strong opinions, it’ll make people of different mindsets more likely to at least hear you out. Be civil in your initial piece and be civil if you decide to engage in conversation with people. who might disagree with you.

Prepare yourself for some nastygrams.

You can lay out the most polite, thoughtful, research-driven argument to back up your opinion. You can do everything you can to share your opinion in the most civilized way humanly possible.

Even so, there are going to be people who don’t agree, who just skim read what you wrote, and send you a very nasty comment or message. It’s like a telegram of nastiness; a nastygram. There will always be people who are too insecure in their beliefs to talk about them with a level-head. People like that will always exist and they might just come out of the woodwork and be the termites in your writing house.

If you mentally prepare yourself for that, it makes dealing with it a little bit easier. We’re human beings. We’ll never all agree on things. We can’t even all agree that cats and dogs are adorable. There’ll always be one person saying one is better than the other. I’m on Team Cat. See what I mean? We’re all biased and need to acknowledge our biases on our trivial opinions and our controversial ones.

Do your best to share your opinion honestly and in the most courteous, research-driven way you can. That way, even if you do get some nastygrams, you can hit that delete button in your inbox and move on knowing you did your best to share your truth with the world.