How to Give Effective Feedback

Feedback is essential for the growth of any individual. When provided correctly, feedback can improve confidence and make people feel motivated. Delivered incorrectly — feedback can ruin the day for a person and, in extreme cases, can even wreak havoc on their confidence.

Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor, everyone needs to learn how to give feedback appropriately. Here are the lessons I have learned in my one and a half decades of experience in giving and receiving feedback in my professional career.

1. Time the feedback right

It is crucial to make sure the timing of the feedback is appropriate. Do not give feedback to individuals instantly and in front of a group. It makes the people who are receiving the input feel embarrassed and makes them defensive.

Once a person is defensive, they create a mental barrier to what you have to say, and they will not derive any value out of the feedback. They will take it as a personal attack and find out reasons to make themselves believe that your feedback is not accurate.

On the other hand, if you have feedback, do not wait too long to provide it. Do not wait for the annual/bi-annual performance review period to start the discussion. Many times managers say during the appraisal discussion — ‘Oh! I expected you to do this, and this’ or ‘I was expecting you to perform in a certain manner’.

Employees could not have worked on something they were not aware that they need to improve. This delayed feedback does not help employees. Instead, they feel like the manager is giving an excuse for not giving a fair appraisal.

Provide timely feedback to make it most effective. Give the recipient some time to process the input and work on it. Provide the feedback in private, when no one else is around. It will help the recipient to be not conscious about people around them, and hence they will receive it with a much better attitude.

2. Do not provide unsolicited feedback

I have been guilty, in the past, of providing feedback to my friends and colleagues instantly. It seems harmless to me, and I thought I am doing them a favor by helping them know their shortcomings. However, It was almost always counterproductive.

We all feel we are perfect. There is nothing for us to change. With such beliefs in our mind, it does not help to get unsolicited advice about our behavior.

Unsolicited feedback does not help. It creates a feeling of being judged rather than points to improve on. If you are not asked to provide your input, then restrain yourself from giving it. Just let the person know later that you might have some suggestions for them. If they are interested in knowing, then they can reach out to you.

This method makes the person feel in control. It helps in giving ownership of the discussion to the recipient of the feedback. If the person reaches out to your offer, then certainly they will come with an open mind. Now your feedback will have a much better chance of being useful.

3. Make the feedback constructive

Think before you give feedback. Is it beneficial to the recipient! Are you having the best of intension! What are you expecting from the other side to do with the inputs you are providing!

Once you have the answers to the above questions, only then provide your inputs. Until then, hold your urge to give feedback. These answers will help you provide constructive feedback, which will, in turn, help the recipient to learn and grow from it.

Too often, I find myself struggling to find the answers to these questions. I realize that my feedback is more of a reaction than genuinely helpful input. If I cannot think of how the recipient can benefit from my suggestions, how can I expect the person to take my feedback constructively!

Make sure also to add encouraging feedback to the discussion. It aids the recipient know that you are not just pointing out their improvement areas, but you are also aware of what they are doing right. It avoids building a hostile atmosphere around the feedback process.

Hence, always know how to provide constructive feedback. Explain to the feedback recipient how you think the suggestions can help in their personal and professional growth.

4. Be specific & never compare

Too often, I hear feedback such as ‘I want you to perform better’ or something like ‘you need to work as good as so and so’.

Many years back, I used to have a manager who had little clue how to provide feedback. He had no specific improvement points for me, but he always used to tell me in my 1:1s — ‘You are doing good, but you need to do better’.

Even after asking multiple times, my manager did not have any specific points on what he wanted me to do better. Those were the least useful feedback I have ever received in my professional career.

Vague feedbacks are not helpful at all as there is no indicator or suggestion on how the recipient can improve on their performance. Worst even, the recipient has no clue what the ‘so and so’ person does better, which they also need to do. Comparison ruins the feedback process completely.

Give clear pointers on which specific area the feedback recipient lacks and what they need to improve. Instead of comparing their performance with others, call out where they can improve to be as good as others. Keep the comparison to yourselves, and just let them know the specific gaps they need to work on to perform better.

5. Make feedback a two-way communication

One quality I appreciate in my current manager is that he is always open to listen to my side of the story while providing feedback. He encourages me to put forth how I feel about the suggestions. This process helps me believe that we are working together on improving my performance.

While providing feedback, always be ready to listen. Most often, people wish to present their side when one shows them how to improve. Encourage them to open up and express how they feel about the feedback you just provided.

This process has double benefits - it will make you aware of something that you might not be mindful of before forming your opinion and also makes the recipient feel like they are being heard. Open communication builds trust between both parties.

Trust is a crucial factor for making anyone receive feedback with a constructive mindset. Once you build the trust, that’s a job half done. After that, the feedback process becomes most productive. It converts into a conversation with each party ready to hear and analyze the points with an open mind.

Final Thoughts

Feedback is a vital process in developing better human beings. A constant feedback cycle helps us learn and grow iteratively. Be passionate and have empathy while providing feedbacks.

When done correctly, feedback helps improve an individual’s productivity. It also enhances the interpersonal skills of both parties involved in the process.

Next time you are going to provide feedback, think through the above points. Find out how you can enhance your skill to offer suggestions in the most effective manner. With practice, you can become super-efficient in providing effective feedback.