Gifts Everyone Will Appreciate

It's going to be a difficult Holiday Season

There's no hiding the fact that the gift nobody wants comes every year around the Holidays. Depression. Whether its your first Holiday season without a loved one, or your 20th, the Holidays just don't quite feel the same. For me and my family, we celebrate Christmas, and this year will be the first without my grandfather, affectionately referred to as Pap. My family has always been close, and we used to celebrate every holiday together. Then my aunt and her family moved to Kansas. Then my family moved to Colorado. Over the last few years, we've tried meeting in each state for at least one holiday, but travelling around the Holidays is never cheap. Sometimes we have to wait until next year to see them.

This year has been especially difficult both mentally and financially, Holiday season aside. The global pandemic has demonized travel, small businesses are struggling or shutting down, and we live in fear that if we see our grandparents we'll get them sick. For many, this might be the first Holiday season they spend alone. I thankfully spend a lot of time with my immediate family, despite living on my own now, so I can spend Christmas with them and not feel the need to quarantine before seeing them. Others don't have that luxury. My roommate has been isolating with his family since Thanksgiving, so that his grandparents can come into town for the Holidays. Everybody has a story about how they are preparing for the Holiday season, but one thing remains the same. It won't be the same.

I've been seeing everyone post a picture to their Instagram Story about how the Holiday season and colder weather brings about seasonal depression, and that we should all be looking out for the signs of it in our friends and family. So what do we do around the Holidays if we know someone suffering from depression? Most people will tell you, "show them that you love them."

Okay, how do I do that? If you're a believer in the 5 Love Languages, Quality Time and Physical touch are out of the picture because of the pandemic. Words of Affirmation? Maybe a text will be enough, but how can you best convey sincerity and emotion through a text? A phone call might be better, or even a Zoom call. A simple call can mean the world to someone who feels alone. It can even help with those whose love language is Quality Time, even though you aren't physically with them. Acts of Service is difficult. Is your service isolating so you can see them in person? Is it shoveling the driveway of the older lady whose husband just passed away?

I personally don't believe that everyone has a single Love Language, but more has a spectrum. If I were to identify as one language, it would be Quality Time, but does that mean I won't feel appreciated if someone pays for my coffee? This leads into the one Love Language I left out, Receiving Gifts. That's what the Holiday season is all about!

As I mentioned before, the pandemic has been a burden mentally and most importantly, financially. Many people have lost their jobs, they've had to permanently close the doors to their business, and being able to buy gifts is a stretch. Financial hardships are one of the leading causes of depression, and a season that revolves around spending money for everyone you know can amplify those feelings. So how do we show love to those whose language is Gifts?

Gift Shopping While Financially Struggling

I am a firm believer in the philosophy that every one has a passion. Either creative or adventuresome. I'm a musician and a fly fisherman. My sister is a painter. My roommate is a photographer and mountain biker. Passion doesn't grow out of nowhere. A seed has to be planted at some point. My passion for music comes from my parents, who despite having had iPods my entire life, always listened to CDs. My roommate mountain bikes because his parents didn't want him playing football growing up. It doesn't have to be a Billy Ray-Miley situation, where your passion is exactly what your parent's is. The roots below don't always look like the branches above. How do we leverage those passions to help us in during this difficult Holiday season? How can I use my passion to give to those I love?

I know exactly what I'm getting from my sister for Christmas, a painting. Gifts don't have to be extravagant and expensive. Everybody has heard the saying, "it's the thought that counts," and it really does! I'll tell you right now I would take a personally painted work of art over a gift card ten times out of ten. Sometimes it feels like a material gift is a box to check, saying, "don't worry. I didn't forget about you." Receiving a personal gift shows that the giver truly cares about you and appreciates you.

It might be difficult to think about how your passion can be translated into a personal gift. If you're a musician like me, write a song for every person you love. It doesn't have to the next Billboard #1 hit, it just has to be from you, to them. If your passion is mountain biking and your younger brother also mountain bikes, go for a ride. Maybe your passion is film and cinematography. Organize a movie night with your sister who needs Quality time.

Your passion doesn't have to be something concrete like "I do this," or "I do that." It can be just something you enjoy doing with another person. Maybe you and your mom hang the Christmas lights every year. Take her for a drive through the neighborhoods that over-do their lights. If you and your dad always watched football on Sunday growing up, make time to watch the game with him. The possibilities are endless. Baking, scrap booking, going on walks, bird watching, it can be anything.

The spirit of the Holiday season isn't in the gifts you give, it's the love we share. Don't feel stressed about the need to get the perfect gift for your family. You are the gift. You have a gift. Whatever that gift is, share it with them. Let them know you appreciate and love them with something from the heart. No gift is loved as much as the one that is made with love.

Coleman, out.