"Why so serious?" - The Joker
Firm believer that people take everything too seriously, and we'd all be a lot better off if we stopped and laughed at ourselves once in a while.
If you're offended by my work, I won't apologize.
Be Frickin' Nice
It seems like a lot of people these days slept through the lesson in Kindergarten about kindness. Which is whack because my friends that at Kindergarten teachers pretty much base their entire year of lessons around kindness. Either way, some people suck at being kind. Good deeds? Is everyone supposed to be a saint these days?
The Songwriting Process
So you've stumbled into the rabbit whole that is becoming a musical artist. Not just a musician. An artist. You're tired of playing "Stairway to Heaven" in Guitar Center, and Beethoven and Bach just aren't exciting you anymore. You want to make your mark on the music industry. Show the world your heart and scream it from the mountain tops!
I love dogs. I have a dog myself, a rescue named Gunnar. He's an asshole. I still love him though. I would do anything for Gunnar, except one thing. I would never, even if my life depended on it, make an Instagram account for him.
I've Met the Love of My Life
Oh, the wonderful world of online dating. If you're one of those 45 year old men that just went through their third divorce and second mid-life crisis who's using eHarmony and Match.com, this is not the article for you. So start up your red Porsche 911 and move on over, this is all about us 20 something year old degenerates looking to get our stank on once or twice a week.
This Won't Go Over Well
If you've made it this after the Title and Subtitle told you this was going to be bad, you're either the a self absorbed asshole with a dark sense of humor that likes to laugh at their own demise, or some self loathing piece of shit that is looking to be triggered so you have some inspiration to write about how "mental health isn't a joke" or something like that.
Gifts Everyone Will Appreciate
It's going to be a difficult Holiday Season There's no hiding the fact that the gift nobody wants comes every year around the Holidays. Depression. Whether its your first Holiday season without a loved one, or your 20th, the Holidays just don't quite feel the same. For me and my family, we celebrate Christmas, and this year will be the first without my grandfather, affectionately referred to as Pap. My family has always been close, and we used to celebrate every holiday together. Then my aunt and her family moved to Kansas. Then my family moved to Colorado. Over the last few years, we've tried meeting in each state for at least one holiday, but travelling around the Holidays is never cheap. Sometimes we have to wait until next year to see them.
When the fuck did Blink-182 become relevant again? Are we just going to ignore millions of U.S. citizens edgy punk phases in middle school in the 2000's because Travis Barker is being featured on every new Pop-Punk band's album? I didn't put half a pound of hair gel in my hair every day before school in sixth grade to wind up in my 20's and realize I was just a hipster and liked Blink before it was cool.
Influencers and Bands
If you are a musician in the age of social media and technology, you have it easy, right? The ability to record yourself singing and playing guitar from the comfort of your own home for less than $200 in equipment, the millions of potential fans you can reach through social media, and being able to instantly distribute your music to every streaming platform known to man should make becoming famous easy right? I mean look at Justin Bieber, the pop superstar was discovered on YouTube and makes zillions of dollars now. Or take the yodeling Walmart kid, for example. One video later and he's touring the entire country making more money at 12 years old than I make with three jobs at 23. Hell, look at Fleetwood Mac making a comeback 40 years later and trending at #4 on Spotify artists after that one viral video trend. So it's easy to become famous right?