Don't be Fooled Mindfulness has a Darker Side that Isn't Spoken about

Everything felt louder and voices sounded almost robotic.

An eerie darkness filled the room, everything went into a dream-like state and I became disconnected from my body.

I was 14, Mindfulness had been a recommended therapy for my anxiety disorder.

However, my first experience filled me with a sense of depersonalization — detachment of body and mind. Almost like an out-of-body experience.

Psychosis, which is where I lost contact with reality and experienced shadow people (hallucinations), my speech became disorganized and my heart raced as my anxiety heightened.

Lucky for me I was with a psychiatric nurse who was fully trained in mindfulness.

Think of mindfulness in its true Buddhist origin and not the modified kind used for mental wellbeing, the practice encourages detachment.

A core aspect of traditional Buddhist mindfulness is to attempt to withdraw from the streams of thought that have to do with the current challenges you may be facing.

“Buddhist meditation was designed not to make us happier, but to radically change our sense of self and perception of the world. Given this, it is perhaps not surprising that some will experience negative effects such as dissociation, anxiety, and depression. However, like the small print on medication, these “side-effects” in some individuals are not what the creators of this pill are concerned with promoting.” — Miguel Farias and Catherine Wilkolm, Clinical Psychologists

Thankfully the psychiatric nurse managed to support me through the experience.

This allowed me to safely explore, in a clinical setting my true thoughts and feelings.

I checked in with myself and realized that I wasn’t okay.

Had I not had my first session with an experienced mental health professional who knows what might have happened!

This is where the darker side of mindfulness lies — in the myth that mindfulness is for everyone!

The reality is that it isn’t suitable for all disorders and conditions.

It’s been known to trigger Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and cause dissociative episodes in some people, but not all.

Then there is the other issue - mindfulness has become a booming business in recent years.

Business and money-centered coaches that have high-paying clients, but little to no professional mental health experience.

This lack of awareness of the darker side of mindfulness, and no knowledge of how to treat someone that may be going into crisis could be a lethal combination.

Science writer Giles Coren (2013) referred to this as ‘McMindfulness’ and claimed that mindfulness “only reinforces one’s egocentric drives”.

If I am completely honest my personal experience with mindfulness has increased my empathy and driven a deeper connection to others.

So I don’t feel that it reinforces egocentric drives — quite the opposite.

Unless of course, you have a 'McMindfulness' practitioner that doesn't fully grasp the true nature of mindfulness and for them - it's business!

Practitioners without the appropriate level of training do seem to be cashing in on the benefits of mindfulness without showing the bigger picture.

This is downright dangerous!

Although in the darkness, there is also light…

We are all aware of the benefits of mindfulness.

Despite my initial experience I have been practicing mindfulness for over 25 years now and have taught it alongside the NHS and in university settings for over a decade now.

Before I could fully commit to mindfulness I had my own issues that needed to be addressed.

I also had to learn some grounding techniques to keep me safe in case of dissociations reoccurring during practice.

Mindfulness has many benefits, but like most things, there can also be side effects for some people (not all) and it’s important to be aware of these and what to do if you experience them.

Before signing up for a mindfulness class check the credentials of the practitoner. Do they have higher qualifications in mindfulness and mental health or the appropriate level of training, experience, or professional membership?

You tend to develop a heightened self-awareness when you practice mindfulness this might not happen straight away, but it can in the early days push up emotions and thoughts that were once buried.

If this happens it is important to get the right support straight away.

In Summary

Mindfulness is a well-tested therapy, but like all things, it does not work for everyone and there are side effects.

The darker side of mindfulness is the inexperienced coaches that cash in without full knowledge or professional training and maybe never even practiced it themselves.

This is dangerous, so in order to keep yourself safe please check in with a health professional before trying any new therapy and ensure you do a little research, get feedback or references on your practitioner first of all before committing to any therapy.

Disclaimer: If you are struggling with your wellbeing please consult a medical professional. If you are interested in mindfulness but worried it may trigger you please consult your doctor. it’s worth noting that there are some amazing mindfulness coaches out there.