A Simple Guide To Getting Evicted

Sometimes in life people just want to get evicted; in times like these there is a simple guide to achieve this goal. Eviction is a delicate process that people must try very hard to attain. To get evicted from an apartment, tenants must simply follow the following: party, never pay their rent, allow squatters, become an animal sanctuary, and do some DIY remodeling.

The first step to getting evicted would be to throw some outrageous parties. People would need to make sure that their music is set on the highest possible volume and that the bass is turned all the way up. The tenant wants to ensure that every neighbor can hear the thumping of the bass. To add to the party, make sure that the decorations are placed in very conspicuous locations. Some red Solo cup garland, beer kegs, and a beer pong table should do the trick. The last step to a successful party is to ensure that there is trash strewn about the premises as far as the eye can see. Used beer bottles and Solo cups to make great lawn ornaments for every party.

A great way to ensure that an eviction is soon on the way would be to never pay rent. Some ways to make this goal easier would be for the tenants to avoid the landlord at rent time; hiding behind the curtains or under the bed is a great way to make sure that the landlord cannot locate the tenant. A timeless way of avoiding paying rent is to use a bad check. Using a bad check gives the tenant plenty of time to save up money to party or to find other shelter options. The last way to avoid paying rent is to tell the landlord that the dog ate the money order. Most money order agencies take up to thirty days to replace a money order, so this would give the tenants ample excuses to avoid the landlord and their fiscal responsibilities.

Allowing other people to move in with the tenant is a great way to get evicted. Who says that fifteen people cannot fit in a one-bedroom apartment? Tenants should utilize every inch of space to fill their rental. Tenants can easily fit three people in a walk-in closet using blankets and pillows as bedding. Most dining rooms can fit another three to four people; no one truly needs a dining room table. The living room is made for living! A few hide a beds and floor cots and the tenant is ready to be revolving door for their guests.

Becoming an animal sanctuary is great way to make sure that the tenant gets evicted. So, the lease says only one small animal; those rescue cats at the human society are not going to take care of themselves. Everyone loves a good Tiger King; add some bobcats or jaguars to the mix. Exotic birds are a great addition to a rental. Landlords are sure to evict the tenant when they see the bird feces and torn newspaper all over their 1926 hardwood floors. Pet fish are a little too safe. Not too many mishaps can happen with fish; tenants should avoid them because who really needs those beady eyes silently judging all day? Aggressive types of dogs are a great way to ensure eviction as well. Pit bulls, Rottweilers, Dalmatians, and Shepherds are a great addition to the eviction seeking tenant. These dogs can be trained to attack, adding to the possibility of landlord avoidance as discussed above. Whatever the tenants do, make sure that they never clean up after these animals. The landlord needs to see the many mountains of dog dung in the front and back yard.

The last key to ensuring an eviction notice served by the Sheriff’s Department, is DIY remodeling. So, the landlord says no renovating or alterations to the rental, do not let this stop the goals at hand. In modern America an open floor plan is much desired. Knock down all those walls; if the sledgehammer happens to hit a load bearing wall, that is the landlord’s problem not the tenants. If the tenants go to Lowes and sees a set of cabinets or appliances, they want there should be nothing to stop them from buying them and tearing out the old ones, Lowes even delivers for free! White and off-white can be so boring and tedious; never let the landlord stifle the creative flow, Sherwin Williams has a great selection of paint in every color from: neon pink, pastel orange, bright purple, to black; let the imagination flow and the colors come to life.

In conclusion if a tenant is seeking to jump on the eviction bandwagon, they just need to follow this guide. Partying is always a fun and effective tool, and the tenant might make new friends as well. Whatever the reason, rent should never be paid. The entire football team should be allowed to take up residency while their dorm is being fumigated. Animals great and small need a place to live. Creative imaginations should not be stymied by pesky leases. Eviction takes time and talent. Make sure to do all that is possible to ensure a lengthy eviction proceeding at the county courthouse.