15 Simple Tips For Letting Go Of What People Think.

Some of the most popular questions I get from my audience are about how to let go of what people think. It can be a hard thing to let go off, especially if it's a person you really care about and who cares about you. But it is absolutely worth it, I promise! So in an effort to help more people release their mental burdens, I wanted to share these fifteen tips that can help you do just that.

1. Don't Rush To Judge The Inner Workings of Other People's Brains

One thing that we need to realize is that what people think doesn't always match up with what they say or do. Sometimes they tell you they love you while at the same time they're thinking: "I cannot stand being around this person." Sometimes an action can look like one thing but the underlying intention is something completely different.

Just because someone says something mean to you, doesn't mean that's what they really think deep down inside. And just because someone does nothing when you ask for their support or help, doesn't necessarily mean that's what they want or want to do. So whether you're asking for a friend's support, a family member's help or someone else's support, don't rely on their words alone.

2. Don't Compare Yourself to the Other Person

You'll have times in your life when you'll feel like no matter what you do or say people are still going to think badly of you. And then there are times when the other person feels a negative way about you and will constantly be thinking of ways to make your life more difficult. So this is just a reminder that it can happen both ways, so remember not to compare yourself with the other person for things that are out of your control.

3. Don't Gossip About the Negative Things You Think The Other Person Thinks of You

One thing that can happen when someone is saying things to you that are not true is that they can actually cause you to think those things. For example, let's say someone says something mean to you and it makes you feel like crap. But then what happens? You keep thinking of this person as a bad person, even though they're not.

In order for them to change, they first have to believe what they said was true in the first place before they can begin accepting how their words have made you feel. So don't start a rumor about the other person by saying negative things about them behind their back. The best thing you can do is sit down with them and have a real conversation about how you're feeling.

4. Don't Expect Other People to Change

You may feel like the whole world is against you, but there are some people who won't change just because they know you're not a fan of their behavior or direction. So just remember that if the person who hurt your feelings no longer likes you very much, they're probably not going to change just because it's in their best interest to do so. But if they're truly sorry and want to change and prove it, then that's all that matters.

5. Don't Make the Other Person Your Whole World

If you're feeling insecure or helpless, then you may feel like you need to rely on other people for your emotional well being. And if you have one person in particular who causes these feelings, then it may be because your emotional health is dependent on them and their opinion.

So what I want to tell you is this: take a step back and look at these feelings from a different perspective. Ask yourself why their opinion matters so much to you? Why do you feel like your entire world depends on them? And once you understand the answer, try letting go of those feelings.

6. Don't Keep Searching for a Way to Change the Other Person

One of the best things you can do in your life is stop trying to change other people and start trying to change yourself. By doing this, you'll feel less pressure from other people's words or actions and will hopefully have more peace. Just because someone else doesn't feel the way you want them to feel, doesn't mean they're the enemy or that they are intentionally trying to hurt you. Just put your energy into changing yourself first, before worrying about other people changing themselves.

7. Don't Allow the Other Person to Control You

When you feel like you can't do anything right or the person who hurts your feelings doesn't like the way you do something, then it can make your mental health feel like it's at stake. But what I want to tell you is this: don't allow other people's words or actions to control how you live your life. If you know that something is not good for you, then just keep doing what makes sense to you and eventually everyone will see that.

8. Don't Compare Yourself to Other People

I've said all this before and I'll say it again: you're not better than other people and they're not better than you. Yes, other people deserve respect. But at the end of the day, no one is more deserving of love or happiness than anyone else.

So stop believing that your good feelings are dependent on someone else's bad feelings or actions. And stop believing that someone else's bad feelings are dependent on your good feelings. Because when you make these comparisons you feel like your emotional health depends on how others act or feel about you. And this is not true. You deserve to feel good and stay happy no matter what other people are doing or saying.

9. Don't Rush to Judge the Person Who Hurt Your Feelings

Sometimes we may think that someone who hurt our feelings was an awful person, but in reality they didn't know any better. They may have even been trying their very best to do the right thing, but just hadn't had any luck connecting with you until now. So take a step back and try to look at things from their perspective before jumping to conclusions about what they're thinking and feeling about you. Try to understand why they did what they did and how you can fix things without them having to change themselves.

10. Don't Focus on What You Can't Change

You have to have a certain degree of faith that things will work out the way they should, no matter what other people do or say. This is one of the secrets to not always worrying about others hurting your feelings and how you feel about them.

Instead, remember that there will always be something out of your control and it really doesn't matter if you try to think about all the things you can't control, because those thoughts will only make things worse for you. Your main focus should be on making sure that the things you can control are in good order and doing what makes sense for yourself.

11. Don't Take Things Personally

Sometimes people do things to hurt our feelings but we think it's all about us. We believe that they're purposely doing things that make us feel bad because they're out to get us. But in most cases, their actions have nothing to do with who we are and everything to do with their own issues.

So just remember this: when someone does something at odds with your own beliefs and opinions, it's probably not about you at all, but just about them. And if you don't like how they're behaving or treating you, try talking to them and getting them to see the error of their ways instead of letting them continue hurting your feelings.

12. Don't Focus on How You Feel

This one is a biggie for me and I know it's one of the things that gets me down the most when I feel like someone has hurt my feelings. What I want to tell you is this: try focusing on how you could have felt instead. When you focus on what's wrong, your problems seem to multiply, but when you focus on how things could have been and how they aren't right now, then your problems become smaller. So think about that next time you're feeling insecure or angry and ask yourself why you think it's all about you when really it's all about something else.

13. Don't Make Yourself Feel Worse

Other people may hurt your feelings, but you don't want to make yourself feel worse than you already do. So when this happens, just try to take a step back and look at the whole situation from another perspective and see if you can figure out what the other person is thinking and feeling so that you can address it without getting upset or hurting your feelings further. Then, remember that it's not always about you, but often times it's about another person's "stuff." And once you're able to understand that it has nothing to do with your life and your happiness, then you'll be able to move on and not take things so personally in the future.

14. Don't Take Things Too Personally

If someone is insulting you, it doesn't mean they hate you. It just means that they don't like what they're seeing and will do whatever it takes to get you to change, whether that means insulting you or trying to convince you in a nice way. So when this happens, try to remember that they are not attacking your character, they are attacking the way you present yourself.

They're not saying anything about who you are as a person and just want to help guide you towards being a better person. So don't take what people say or do personally because it's not always about you; it's usually about them and their needs.

15. Don't Believe Everything You Hear

When someone is trying to hurt your feelings or make you feel like you're unworthy or undeserving of happiness, they will try to portray their words as gospel. They will tell you that what they're saying is the absolute truth and that anyone who doesn't agree with them is wrong.

Well, it may be true that they believe what they're saying with all their heart, but the truth is sometimes people who get hurt say things in anger and then later regret them when they can think more logically. So always try to look at things from more than one perspective before believing everything someone has to say about you.

Finally

There are many things to remember when it comes to not taking things personally, but you need to know that these aren't just words that you can't really put into action. It's going to take some real work and a lot of determination, but if you really want to make a change in your life by learning how not to let people hurt your feelings, then this is for you.

The advice in this post should be enough for anyone trying to understand how our emotions can affect our lives every day. So take what I've said today on board and see if you can apply it the next time someone says something hurtful or nasty about you or if they do something that makes you feel like they're only out to get you.