Writers Block

Things never seemed to come as easily as they used to. I have put putting off writing that so called novel for years and years, but felt the pressure that this needed to be done as my life was going by so fast and I felt that I never really accomplished what I set out to do.

One of the first things I have been thinking about is how badly I have been wanting to express my love of nature. I love looking outside my window as I work here and it is inspiring to say the least. My only wish is that it would be lovely to have an ocean view, but will have to improvise in my mind and see where that will take my imagination and future stories. I used to take pictures years ago and that was so much fun and the memories remain forever.

There are so many ways to start a project, but the thousands of ideas that sprout forth yet nothing seems to come from them. I have been fighting with that indifference for so long, that I forgot how to simply pick up a pen or start typing on my keyboard. It is invigorating and helps to relieve so much stress that I have been feeling for way too long now.

I can sit and daydream for hours even when I am supposed to be focusing on more important matters at hand, such as taking care of my ailing spouse. He requires time from me, but not enough to keep me from getting myself pulled together and straightening out what I should have long ago.

I am so engrossed in writing lately and the steady stream of books I read never ends. I have always been a voracious reader and have been writing since I was a pre-teen. I even used to write poetry and had a few published. I was quite proud of that and have kept the BIG black book that they were published. I also wrote poetry for my friends for birthdays and even when they were feeling blue. It made me happy to share my gift with them and they were quite touched.

I have never been the popular one or the really pretty one, but I was the smart one and everyone expected me to accomplish so much more in life than I have. It seems sad that it has taken this long to start the juices flowing, but I am happier now that I have taken up my love of writing and reading. I can only hope that this is the therapeutic release I have needed.

I recall a time in the 6th grade when I wrote a book report and the teacher wrote that I had copied almost word for word of the book and didn't give a synopsis of my own. I clearly didn't understand what that meant at the time, but have grown to engross myself so deeply into my work, that I am really thriving for the first time in a long, long time.

This has always been my life's passion and I will continue to read every night and when I am without a book by my side, I feel lost. But, another excuse and I know that I should just start writing and believe in my heart that this was meant to be.

I am calmer and happier right now that this is coming to fruition, and want to share this with others so they can understand what makes my happy and how I relax after a long day of doing so many other demanding things for others, this is my time and it is sacred.