Why I Up and Quit My Job

I literally just put in my 2 week notice, I am heading into the unknown and for the first time in my life I don't feel as scared as I should. If there is one thing I've have learned about COVID year is to just roll with it! I always tell people, it takes being in tune with one self to know in our gut how you truly feel. I was happy where I was, I enjoyed the people and the business, but for some reason it was the inner self that didn't feel right. I kept showing up to work and felt completely out of place. My soul no longer aligned with what that job was, and no promotion or relocation was going to change that.

Let me fill you in a little on this stint of a job; I got this job in March of 2020, I left one job after 14 years and another one just happened to fall in my lap and I took it! Maybe the universe was looking out for me? Maybe deep down it knew I needed some sort of work to get through this pandemic that was only beginning to make headlines. I planned my exit before we knew what was going on world wide, before we knew we'd have massive shut downs, however as stated before, the job was dropped on my lap and I took it graciously.

In between jobs I actually had a planned a short vacation with my then girlfriend, I had thrown out all the stops as I was planning to propose to her. I had everything prepared and while the world was slowly coming to a screeching halt I was ready to move into the next step with her. I knew more than anything this was the woman for me! While we kept moving forward the world began to freeze and we were terrified in the midst of our happiness. COVID completely shadowed our engagement, our happiness and at the time I felt robbed, my happiness was now tarnished with one of the worst years in human history.

We didn't let it stop us.

We kept pushing for our happiness.

Back to the real world we came, from the Oregon Coast into Portland, Oregon. We stopped at the zoo (we've always loved the zoo), getting in was easy, parking was cake, and it wasn't cram packed with people. It was a nice stroll, checking out all the animals as our own little private tour duo. Upon arriving at the hotel the surreal-ness of seeing a large metropolitan city shut down became frightening and very apocalyptic. Never in my life will I forget looking out my hotel window and seeing--nothing.

After a year and a half of pandemic news, wearing masks, and all the other protocols we've had to endure I guess I was done. I don't know if it's the accumulation of world events or if again--the universe gave me a sign;

This job no longer suits your life path.

But it's good, I am good.

Are you truly? You are depressed, you come home to your kids who are homeschooled this year. You sit down and don't want to do anything, does that sound 'good' to you?

No...but my life is good, why do I feel so unhappy?

There are more aspects to your life that are unfulfilled, your work life is not fit for you anymore.

I guess I wondered why I felt so exhausted all the time, completely and utterly detached from my fiancé, my kids, my family, etc. I would come home from work and plop on the couch, zone out on my phone or video games and attempt to help my daughter catch up on her school work for the week. I would laugh but also cry more than I ever had. My anxiety was starting to get the best of me and that was causing stress not only with work but when I'd come home to my family. My fiancé called me out on it and finally told me, "quit." I was dumbfounded, but she knew my heart wasn't in it, that something was going on internally (in my mind) that I was missing when trying to sit back and figure it out for myself. She told me to take time, to enjoy the summer off with the kids and see what develops.

So I did it.

I gave a verbal two week notice and then gave an official letter Monday morning.

Now I'm not a particularly religious person but many would say, "God, is telling you to do something." I definitely believe in the power of the universe and all that surrounds me, that for some reason I am given an opportunity to do something I am passionate about. I've always had a knack for the creative, obviously writing is something I am passionate about. I enjoy all forms of art, I performed in theater, I love music, my mind just understands a creative mindset. It's chaos occasionally, I crave it, and it calls to me. Have you ever had your creative brain yell at you? Well I did, it told me to get out of a left brain job and do something you are more passionate about.

My 2020 in a nutshell; I obtained a bachelors degree, quit my job, got new job, got engaged, homeschooled 2 kids, and bought a house. I guess when I lay it out like that I see why my stress and anxiety are highlighting the start of my summer.

Cheers to summer 2021. Let the mental breakdown commence.