Where My Head Is At

Thursday, 2 June 2022

I did this bizarro run into Sunset Park today, so I could land at a Five Below. Then I went in search of vegan tacos. Several places have moved and changed their names, so not even the internet could direct me. So I ended up at Renegades of Sunset, my old favorite. They know how to feed a vegan runner, who has just banged out five miles. As luck would have it, I ran into a gentleman, who owns an incredible Palestinian spot in my neighborhood. He is opening a second location at Industry City. It's a joy to watch, as my vegan options multiply. My choices at Ayat are numerous, and outstanding.

I took a weird, back entrance into Industry City today. It's kind of/sort of an alley that connects to Third Avenue, which is where I saw the weirdest freakin' animal ever. At first I thought it was a cat, because I have seen a few strays there in the past. I took a second look, and thought it was one of those fancy hairless cats. But what would a fancy hairless cat be doing behind a strip club named after a tropical fruit, even if it's adjacent to an urban oasis like Industry City.

Dude, I think it was a possum. Are there hairless possums? Aren't they supposed to be nocturnal? What was it doing out in broad daylight?

Saturday, 11 June 2022

Moments like these are hard to plan. They just know how and when to find you.

The morning was rough. Getting out of bed was even rougher. Walking up the block towards the soul sucker, I thought about the fact that my first 5K of 2022 is a week from today. That it was currently 9:41 in the morning, and a week from today, I will have completed the race. I hope, since the proverbial gun goes off at 8:30am.

I had a moment or two to sit and drink a cola for breakfast. I do that sometimes, but only the good kinds of sodas. This morning it was Boylan.

I'm not ready for this race. But then again, all I need to do is show up. Right? I don't plan on coming in first, second, or third. So all I really need to do is just show up. This is a Pace Runs event, which are the most slow poke friendly races in the City.

A man who is known for walking around the neighborhood in a Superman costume, just dropped in to say hello. He's very sweet. After all this time, I finally learned his first name. And he learned mine.

Sunday, 12 June 2022

I'm on the train right now, wondering why why why I have to go to work. Why is this my life? I'm exhausted. I'm burnt out. And I received no pleasure from going to the soul sucker. The train hasn't even left the station yet, and we're already delayed.

There's nothing else I can do. Period. I'm doing everything I can. Period. I have two masks on and a shield over my face. I've been vaccinated three times. This is everything I can do to live with other people's ignorance.

What if next week's Juneteenth 5K race is the beginning of my journey towards next year's race? What if: 6/19 (22) to 6/19 (23) = 54 to 55? Where would I like to be a year from now?

Transfer is available at the end of this station, the elevator . . .

I don't understand why I can't sleep. I'm exhausted. I have taken a cannabis product, melatonin, and a half Klonopin. I am out of Ambien for the next five days. What am I supposed to do about that?

I know why I can't sleep. Because my room, my apartment is cluttered. There's shit all over the place, and I'm starting to have a roach problem again. And the soul sucker has me filled with angst. Not that I have a difficult job, but it's all of the elements, the moving parts that are just so irritatingly...soul sucking.

Tuesday, 14 June 2022

What I do know is that I have two more shifts left, and then I'm off for four days in a row. And that is a good thing. I got myself excused from a staff meeting, another good thing. I do not feel comfortable spending time in a room, filled with my co-workers, where masks and vaccinations are not required.

But first, I need to warm up with a pre-work bitch session. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know where my head is. And I don't know where my head is at.