When You Have a Super $h!tty Boss

What to do? You have a job that you don’t mind getting out of bed for. Your commute isn’t all that bad. Your colleagues are good people – all except for that one Karen who karma dictates must be in your life at some point or another. The pay isn’t too bad, considering the hours and the energy required. You feel as if you are contributing to the world in some small or large way. You are lucky to be using the education that you are still making student loan payments on.

So, what’s the problem? Doesn’t this all make for a great script for a witty, yet touching, sitcom called Ain’t Life Grand?

Yep, your work life can feel pretty danged good . . . all until your boss gets replaced by a new $h!tty boss.

Yep, this happened to me. I was working at a small college and teaching my dream class. My colleagues were great people, and I felt supported by the department chair. The students loved the curriculum, and I loved creating it. I had been innocently taking this all for granted until (cue: scary music) Tamara came along and the bubble was burst, leaving a big messy splat.

I could understand some of the items on her agenda. For example, Jacob was now being “surveyed” and could no longer leave campus to go home and play video games during a two-hour final exam. I’m surprised she didn’t make him wear an ankle monitor.

And office supplies were being inventoried more closely. Anna, a militant work-study student, was put in charge of the key to the supplies cupboard. Truth, I probably had more than three dozen sticky note pads, enough paper clips to fill a Ball quart jar, and a pretty hefty bundle of Dry-Erase markers at home. This “flagrant employee theft” – as Tamara labeled it – was more along the lines of me unintentionally spacing-and-just-grabbing than me donning a black face mask and using a pen light to fill my briefcase with plunder before heading home.

But there were other things that mattered more than the Sharpies and manila envelopes being held hostage behind Anna’s stocky frame. Tamara – newly dubbed Horns by us – continued to declare new rules and regulations. Students were required to wear some version of business attire to all classes to prepare them for "the real world." (As if we weren't currently caught in some episode of The Twilight Zone?) We were told to lock our classroom doors on the dot of the hour so that latecomers would not be admitted to class. This kind of stuff . . . it was all too much.

Did we actually enforce any of these new rules? No. If it weren’t all so real and we weren't in fear of losing our positions, we would have been laughing at Horns' regimented leadership.

The ultimate “quitting moment” for me was when Horns stopped by my office and told me that the inspirational quote that I had taped to my door was “unprofessional” and that I needed to remove it. I wanted to stand up, bang my desk with my high heel, say bad words that I would regret, and storm out of the building – joining the ranks of the un-gainfully unemployed.

But I didn’t. Why? Well, my paycheck was a good motivator. Benefits, another. But more importantly? I loved my job and my students and the hope that I might be able to make a difference in a student’s life.

So, what do you do when you have a $hitty boss? This is by no means any kind of redemption story, but this is what I learned during the Reign of Horns:

1. Words have power; use them wisely and with purpose. Sometimes (most times?), less is more.

2. Stay on what you believe to be the right path. Be an advocate – for others and for yourself. There is a time to stand up and speak. Just say it. You'll feel better in the long run.

3. Do a 180 when you see $hitty Boss coming at you. Duck into the restroom. Read the poster taped to the wall. Look busy. Pretend you are talking on your cell. Get creative. Just stay out of the $h!tstorm.

4. Smile. It feels better than frowning. Research supports this.

5. Watch your six – and your colleagues’ respective sixes, as well. Let them know if there is a target on their backs. Hold $hitty Boss at bay.

6. Stay positive and visualize a positive outcome. Pray. Meditate. Pray some more. This, too, shall pass in one way or another. Promise.

7. Think of having a $h!tty boss as a lesson in mind over matter. You’ve got this.

8. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

Fast forward to Better Times. Troubled by her growing unpopularity, Tamara started to get twitchy. She reduced the frequency of faculty meetings, and we saw less and less of her. Heck, as a Christmas bonus, I even received a really swanky file cabinet on wheels that had been on my wish list. I talked to Rick in his office next door to get his opinion as to whether I should be nervous about receiving it. He held up an external hard drive and said that he, too, had been bonus-bombed. I guess we, too, were dealing with our own version of getting twitchy.

Again, this is not a salvation story. There is no fanfare music to accompany the conclusion of the trials and tribulations we suffered. In brief: we stuck it out, and we were lucky. The power of our collective $h!tty-boss-getting-fired prayer won out, and we were liberated. We weren’t sure as to the why – there were rumors – but we really didn’t care. Horns was fired. Can I get a chorus of hallelujahs?

Favor and good fortune continued to shine on us. Our new chair, Don, was a chain smoker who largely holed up in his office with the door closed to work on his novel about a sheriff who took a page from the TV show “Longmire.” We liked and supported his agenda to do his own thing so that we could do ours. When Don wasn’t out back puffing away in the designated smoking area, he was tucked in his office, imagining scenes for his wise-but-tormented sheriff.

These tips as to how to deal with a boss like Horns likely do not provide much comfort if you have a boss who plans to retire in place and who makes going to work in the morning feel like . . . well, work. But hang in there. Start networking and get your CV circulating. Be open to opportunities. They are out there. Promise.

And as simple as it sounds: smile. And keep smiling. Be a contributor and a supporter. Make a difference. Make friends with your colleagues. After all, you are in the proverbial trenches together. Get together for happy hour. Learn about each other and build a community that is about being people and not just co-workers.

Do weird and silly stuff. Dance for the security cameras. Leave a pan of brownies in the break room. Do what it takes to lessen the darkness and seek the light. You never know. Your $h!tty boss might move on when you least expect it to happen.