When to Break up with your Workplace

I JUST QUIT MY JOB!

Don't get me wrong, I think sometimes things are just shitty. If that is your romantic relationship, your schooling, or a friendship–but you push through. You realize that you aren't always going to be happy and life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. But there is a difference between having a momentary rough patch and being in a permanent bad situation that is killing your soul. If a few months go by, you have sought action and you realize this is not just a bad moment but an unhealthy situation that won't change, YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

I spent a year of my life working in an extremely toxic environment for people that abused me. I should have left a month after I started, and I wish I did. But I thought it would get better. I thought I would earn respect. I thought they would follow through with giving me a raise. I thought they would eventually care about me enough to support me. I thought that being a woman wouldn't make me lesser of a human. I thought they'd care. But they didn't. It never changed, only got worse, and when you know you're done, you know you're done.

If you are answering Yes to most of these questions, it is time to get da fuck outta there.

1. Is your Job Affecting Your Mental Health?

Are you depressed and find it hard to get out of bed? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you wishing your appendix would burst just so you don't have to go to work for a few days? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you hoping someone impregnates you so that you can take maternity leave? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you getting panic attacks until you throw up (and you forgot you had a Costco hotdog as a pre-dinner stress snack)? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you cry at least once a day about work? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you cry at least once a day about a small menial thing like wearing mismatched socks and maybe it's not about the socks maybe it is because you are an emotional wreck and you just can't have one blue and one green sock right now? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you feel so bitter and resentful that you can't control your anger and have the desire to punch people from the smallest prompt? Yes? BREAK UP

Have been introduced to the lifestyle of road rage? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you having work nightmares on a regular basis? Yes? BREAK UP

2. Is your Job Affecting Your Body?

Are you stress eating so much that your physique is ballooning like Violet Beauregarde turning into a blueberry? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you not eating all of a sudden because food lacks taste and all you want to do is be so thin that when you turn you disappear cause all you want to do these days is disappear? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you not exercising at all because you are too stressed, or too tired, or don't have time because you are always at work, or when you are at home you are either working still or thinking and stressing so much about work? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you exercising too much because the only anger release you have is sprinting a 5K and then throwing up or injuring yourself because you pushed way too hard? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you getting comments from people asking if you are sick but you actually just don't wear makeup anymore and exclusively wear sweat pants and a stained t-shirt? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you getting gray in your hair at 24 and your mom is 60 and doesn't have any gray so you know it is not genetic? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you not sleeping because the anxiety of the next day keeps you up? Yes? BREAK UP

3. Is your Job Affecting Your Love Life?

Is your partner forgetting what you look like because you are never home long enough for them to really see you? Yes? BREAK UP

Is the only topic of conversation at the dinner table about how shitty work is and how your wish your boss treated you like a human? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you so distracted and stressed that during your first date you forget their first name (and it is too soon to just call them 'babe') so you have to go check their tinder profile when you pop to the washroom because you just slammed three whiskies in a half-hour? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you not having time to intentionally go out with someone you care about (or just saying you don't because you realllyyy don't want to go to Dune with him) Yes? BREAK UP (Dune was fine btw... If you like slow burn, political sci-fi dramas. You don't? Yeah me neither) (But if you like Zendaya romantically running through fields with sunlight in her hair like she is in a perfume commercial, then might be worth it)

Has it been so long since you've had sex and you forget how pretty his *cough* is? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you fighting because you are an emotional wreck? Yes? BREAK UP (with work, not them, they love you and have stayed with you for this shit show year)

4. Is your Job Affecting Your Friendships?

Do you hardly ever see your friends anymore because you are buried in paperwork, tequila bottles, and your sadness? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you so exhausted that even when you do have free time you don't want to leave your bed because you rarely have time to watch FRIENDS for the 18th time anymore? Yes? BREAK UP

Do your group chats usually end with someone saying your name a few extra times with a whole bunch of ???????????? in hopes that you will answer sooner than later? Yes? BREAK UP

Did your friend get pregnant and have a child all within the span of a month it seemed? Yes? BREAK UP

Did people stop inviting you to outings because they knew you would either flake, leave at 7pm, or need to be babysat because you became immobile drunk within 45 minutes? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you fall asleep at clubs? Clubbs! CLLLUUBBBSSS???!?!?!? Yes? BREAK UP

5. Is your Job Affecting Your Family Life?

Does your mom call you, not because the family dog "wants to speak with you" but because she is worried about you? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you miss Thursday night family zoom at 9pm because you are often still at work or are working at home? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you not have any time to visit your niece and nephew who are growing up fast and you swore they just turned one as you arrive at their second birthday party? Yes? BREAK UP

Does your sister tell you every day to quit your job because they are "abusing" you or whatevveerrrr? Yes? BREAK UP

Did your dad turn 60 and 61 in the same year somehow? Yes? BREAK UP

6. Is your Job Affecting Your Spending?

Do you now have a lotto subscription that automatically purchases you a ticket every Tuesday and Friday because maybe you will win and maybe you will buy a house in the middle of nowhere and become a recluse writer with the antagonist of your novel resembling your boss? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you drink so much that you put it on the company card and say it was for a work meeting because only 6 or more people could drink that amount in one day? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you have a new online shopping addiction cause you need something to arrive at your house this week to make you happy, and strippers are "frowned upon" by your boyfriend? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you now have a loyalty card for MCDONALDS and you didn't even know they did that kind of shit and maybe they don't but someone gave you a card and you are now getting 20% off your shame nuggets ... maybe they think you work there? Is this an employee discount? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you stress-pampering? (Cause they can only shave off the shellack so many times in a week... you need to chill girl) Yes? BREAK UP

Are you getting packages you didn't know were coming because you are impulsively making random amazon purchases under the influence at 2 am? And then making your life even more difficult because you have to drive to the post office and return it the next day cause you don't know why you ever thought you wanted a lifesize cutout of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy because you've only seen it once when it first came out because the guy you were dating at the time took you to it. Yes? BREAK UP

7. Is your Job Affecting Your Substance Consumptions?

Does Dan at the local liquor store your name and do you know what him and his girlfriend are doing this Tuesday because you are now are somewhat friends because you frequent the store so often because you are sad about work? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you smoke weed because it is the only thing that can help you sleep at night? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you understand why busy people do cocaine because the eight cups of coffee aren't working? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you keep a flask in your purse to bring to all outings, even if they don't make sense, like the library, or Grandma Joe's? Yes? BREAK UP

Is the word tolerance nonsensical to you because Whisky is water to you at this point? Yes? BREAK UP

8. Is your Job Affecting Your Free Time?

Are you feeling anxious in uneventful moments, like taking out the trash or choosing which shoes to wear with your sweatpants? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you finding it hard to sit through an entire movie and absorb it all? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you constantly checking your phone for emails because even though "you were done at 5pm" you could still get fired if you aren't available 24 hours a day and become a robot? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you still have friends? Yes? But do you really?????... because you haven't seen them in a really long time and you don't respond to their texts. BREAK UP

Can you only commit to one FRIENDS episode because 1. you've seen it before so nothing will make you anxious or be out of what you can take 2. it is 20 minutes and you can commit to that 3. Books do not exist right now Yes? BREAK UP

9. Is your Job Affecting Your Relationship with Yourself?

Are you insecure and full of self-loathing? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you beat yourself for staying at your shitty job, but do you also beat yourself up for thinking about leaving your shitty job? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you lack simple self-care things–like showering, eating, sleeping? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you always tired and burnt out because you can never catch up? Yes? BREAK UP

Did your lovely, joyful personality turn into a negative quick fuse that can talk shit about your boss like it is your first language? Yes? BREAK UP

Do you not like the person you are becoming? Yes? BREAK UP

Are you neglecting the parts in you that give you life? Yes? BREAK UP

10. Is your Job RUINING YOUR LIFE?!?!?!??

Are you using dark humor to get through this article when you should really just be going to therapy and talking through the last year of your life because you are a burnt-out mess that needs to rediscover who she was before the workplace abuse??????

Yes?

BREAK UPPPPPPP