What more do I have to do?

First of all, I am not whining about being a writer. I know it'll sound as if I am. In actuality it is years of frustration that has built up over the years. Let me start off by saying, being a writer is one of the hardest occupations to have. You have so many stories in your head that need to be put onto a page. Yet writing them down does not come easy. I published my first book about 7 years ago. I had to self-publish, which has had minimum results. Now mind you, I finished writing my 1st book over 20 years before that. I have spent the majority of that time trying to find a publisher that would publish an unagented author. I tried many avenues. Knowing that finding an agent is even more difficult than finding a publisher. I decided to go the self-publishing route. Even going with self-publishing, I couldn't pay for all I wanted to do with my book. I could not set up book signings with my local book sellers, because every time I tried I either missed the regional manager or they would take my info and of course never hear from the regional manager. I couldn't pay for promotions or book events. I am a blue-collar work by force not because I wanted to be. So naturally, I struggle with money in this economy.

Here's the thing, I pour my heart and soul into my work, like all writers, I believe in my work. For years, none of my friends or family knew I was writing a novel. I started writing when I was 16 years old. Finishing my 1st book by 23, I currently have four stories in the works. Yet I have no drive anymore. This business had beaten me down so hard over the years that I have no choice but to throw in the towel. I still write on occasion. Although I know I will never get published again. Being on Vocal did help open up some new avenues. Such as new topics and a forum for anything you would like to write. For all the pro's that this platform has given me, there are many cons as well. More times than I can count, I thought I had a good story to tell. Even on here it has showed me that this is also another failure. At this point in time, I am leaving writing behind. It may sound as if I am giving up on my talent. In a way I am. It's more like taking a break. I can't keep pouring energy and money into something that has brought me very little results. I have posted stories on my Facebook many times. Friends and family liking my writing. I even have people that are from other countries that have praised my writing. Like I was told many years ago, they are my friends and family of course they will give me praise. I stated prior, none of them knew I was writing. So, I decided to cast my net wider with being on here and self-publishing. Both have proved to me that this career is just a pipe dream. I hope that one day I can come back to this and make something with my stories. For now, I have to say goodbye.

I appreciate all who have supported me through the years with this. The decision I have made is one that was hard fought. I fought for a long time to keep going. As of this moment I am on a permanent vacation. Thank you for listening to my rant. You may carry on.