What Ends Up In My Junk Box...2

Oh, Ms. Aniston, I never knew you cared:

Dear Fund Beneficiary,

Your beneficiary fund of USD$15,500,000.00 has been approved today,

please contact MRS JENNIFER ANISTON to

receive your fund with the below details:

1. Full name:

2. Telephone number:

3. Mailing address: {Residential address only}

These are the options:

1). FedEx Delivery Company Duration for Delivery: 72 Hours Amount USD$150.00

2). UPS Delivery Company Duration for Delivery Amount Next day

Delivery USD$170.00

3). DHL Delivery Company Duration for Delivery Amount 24 Hours of

Delivery USD $205.00

4). Online Banking Account transfer 6 Hours with the charge of USD$350.00

Tel: +1 207 605 7016

Whatsapp: +1 305 317 1408

Email: [email protected]

Please include this code when contacting him so he will respond

immediately. Your Conduct code is: 72055,,,

And the reason why you are receiving this fund is that your name was

found as one of the victims

of a scam and lost of money so you are being compensated with the fund.

Thanks

Mr. Omnid Osman

Now, I know that these messages are total nonsense and that I should probably ignore them, but sometimes you receive a message that is so entertaining that you have no choice but to comment.

What impressed me first about this message was the name. Yes, Ms. Aniston is famous, beautiful, talented - I am more of a fan of her now than when that show was on the air - and apparently, willing to handle large sums of money for complete strangers on the Internet, even if she does not use our specific names when refunding us for our difficulties (Dear Fund Beneficiary?)

Then, I noticed the ways that I could be refunded for my time. There is the usual list of requests for my full name, telephone number, address - residential address only - and five methods for me to become rich. I could go for FedEx, UPS, DHL, bank transfer, WhatsApp, and, what is truly my favourite, personal email. The reason why I love that email is that it includes Ms. Aniston's name, allowing me to infer from it that she would be the one to receive my message...and my money. With almost all the others, there is a service fee ($350.00 USD for a bank transfer?); with her, it would be free. Now, I know that there are some incredibly stupid people out there who think that it was a national (international?) tragedy when 'Friends' went off the air. But I have to ask: would anyone out there truly believe that the name of a major celebrity on a comedy that never really did it for me be enough to compel anyone to send money? Really?

Now, I usually comment on the bad grammar and spelling in the message (getting worse and worse as the years pass: e.g. 'your name was found as one of the victims of a scam and lost of money so you are being compensated with the fund'). I could comment on the fact that I am not aware of any scam or scheme that has lightened my wallet or drained any of my bank accounts that did not involve a decision I made to keep my head above water. I could say that I just wanted to entertain myself with another article on Vocal+. Instead, I will end with a message to Mr. Omnid Osman (he will not be receiving any of my money, but I will give him some free advice).

Mr. Osman, you have a very cool name (I love pseudonyms as much as the next comic book fan), and I admire your nerve in using the name of a major celebrity in order to make a buck (or euros, drachmas, pounds, raw gold, etc). You just need to try harder with your scams, like those other idiots who try and convince me that my PayPal account is frozen and that I need to send in my credit card information if I want it to work again. And hey, I understand. Money is tight. People are looking for a change with The Great Resignation. And winter is coming (just a Game of Thrones reference I could not resist).

I can only say that I wish you well, and that if I catch you, no Friend is going to be there to save your skin.

Ta ta.