What Being the Only Unemployed Friend Teaches You.

I’ve had an unsuccessful relationship with employment, although looking at the current job climate, there are many others like me.

The jobs I am qualified for and desire to do, don’t want me back. I’ll make it to the 6th round of interviews and get sent off. Or I’ll endlessly fill applications - for anything and everything - but get nowhere, aside from naively giving away my data. 

Alas, my friends are far more successful than I. Some have degree-related intern roles, others working in their partner’s firms, or jobs through friends of friends. 

I am the only one without a job. 

But there was a time when I had a babysitting job, a time when none of my friends had a job - but I did. It certainly wasn’t glamorous, but it was my first job and those rarely are anything glam. I was busy wiping noses and assisting toilet breaks, but I was being paid to do so. I was getting money, and that money helped me buy cute, fun stationery, and all sorts of makeup at our local beauty store.

I wasn’t the best with money, a pattern that continues today (I’m saved, only by the fact I don’t receive paychecks at the moment).

But there was one thing I was saving for.

It was my dream for our circle to go abroad on a trip. I’d seen others do it, and what better way to celebrate newfound independence at the age of 18 by heading for a trip?

We could sail between Greek islands, enjoy the clubs in Ibiza or visit the city of love wearing our berets. 

Alas, my dreams and hopes vanished into thin air, when my friends urged they weren’t able to go, given lack of employment on their behalf.

I tried to calculate how many noses I’d need to wipe and how many school runs I needed to make for the five of us to go, but unfortunately, it was impossible.

Life carried on, we got to university, everyone had a different schedule, but everyone also had a job of sorts now.

It was no longer a dream! This was going to be a reality soon! We would have the best Euro-Summer of all times! With days to be spent under the sun, and nights enjoying clubs, we’d have all the tales in the world to come back with. 

But priorities differed. One of our friends wanted to move in with a boyfriend, and so made it clear her money was strictly ever only going towards fulfilling that dream. Yikes. But, maybe the others would still go, right?

Wrong. Another friend only travelled with her family, a third didn’t want to waste her savings on a trip, and so the domino effect knocked us all down one by one. 

Now, a year after we’ve all graduated, somehow we all have enough for a trip, except…for…me.

This feels similar to how Rodrick from Diary of a Wimpy Kid felt, when his band - Löded Diper - played without him.

Now everyone is ready for a holiday, and the catch is it will be spenny. It will be expensive - a whopping £340 per person for a shared room, for only two nights, and that excludes travel…

It must be said that I am not allergic to fun, and despite not having the funds, I am willing to put everything on the line to make the plans, whatever they may be - a holiday, a dinner - anything. But what good is it when the budget has it out for you?

Asides from the poor holiday that was never meant to be, at least for me, anyways, there are many other occasions that are worthy of joining the Hall of (unemployment) Shame. The dreaded dinners. 

“Let’s meet up! Over drinks or dinner.” Yay…nay. 

How does one fund either? With only £3.60 in my bank account, I don’t even have enough to make it to a meet up. Let alone feast. And yes, my friends aren’t evil, of course they would pay for me. 

But how many free dinners or drinks could one possibly justify? It was becoming a problem, and I, despite not having funds of my own, was too prideful to let anyone pay.  O, at least, continue to pay for me.

I once fought a guy who tried to pay for my dinner. My friend mocked me for a whole month because of it. But that’s another article. 

Anyways, that’s the social aspect of it. Cancelled outings, cancelled plans. Finding excuses to cancel is always a very tedious aspect. What excuse to make this time? Is it another GP appointment? Another ‘have-to-pick-someone-up’ excuse? Or spamming the ‘I’m not feeling well’ card? 

It’s a strange concept, because you are available - painfully so, but you aren’t able.

You aren’t able to attend, to spend, to live. It sucks the joy out of life. Certainly everyone knows you are free, so you become a compulsive liar to hide the shame of still being in the applying stage. 

It’s lovely to see your friends have jobs, though. Until…it isn’t. Maybe I should’ve done a better degree, a more employable one. The thoughts that you think of don’t fail to appear in others’ minds. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was a cautionary tale; ‘don’t do the degree Nora did’. You become a joke that doesn’t need to be said, but just is.

So this is what it is like to be the unemployed friend. When it’s your turn, you wait for the others. But then it is their time and you are no longer visible.  It's a life of constant shame and self preservation by missing out on having a social life.

Growing up isn’t just when everyone has their own money, it’s when they have different lives to spend it on.

Being the only unemployed friend teaches you that no one will wait for you.