Turning a New Leaf

If there ever came a time when someone asks me what my life was like growing up or what would be the most pivotal event, I honestly wouldn’t know how to answer. So, when this challenge went live, I read the requirements, wondered what I would talk about then decided it wasn’t for me. Thinking back nothing stood out to me as awe-inspiring, drastic or as the challenge puts it ‘coming-of-age’. But I thought about it overnight, and came to the decision that as plain as I see my life, what would it hurt to tell others?

As a child I was, and still am, very reserved, shy and easily bullied. I struggled in school, making friends, had difficulty articulating what I wanted to express, going so far as to substitute words with yadda yadda or blah blah. I rarely took initiative, spoke when spoken to, cried all the time (to some, for no apparent reason) but for me that was my only outlet for the other emotions I kept suppressed.

Now, I don’t want anyone to think that my growing years was dull, there were exciting highlights, family vacations/gatherings, loving pets, school trips, adventures with my sisters. Maybe not as thrill inducing as other children's childhood but it was mine. However, it was my high school teacher that pointed out to me that I may have something I could nurture and utilize, by entering contests or competitions, to her my essay writing.

At first, I was skeptical, putting pen to paper and writing down in an organized orderly fashion, facts in that I’ve learned or researched wasn’t to me, something to praise. I wondered what the big deal was, anyone can do that. It wasn’t until I entered college where my English Professor approached me after class to implore me to enter our local competition for essay writing.

It was only then that I figured all those years ago in high school, my teacher was on to something. Unfortunately, I never did enter that competition, the topics didn’t appeal to me and I didn’t see that professor again after leaving the college. But her confidence in me, stuck with me ever since.

It wasn’t until a few years later, I picked up my first book, instead of writing I grew a passion for reading. And let me tell you, I haven’t stopped, I’m always scouring the internet for my next best read. I can happily say I’ve read hundreds if not thousands of books so far, I haven’t been keeping an accurate count, but I think I’m well beyond two thousand stories read.

For me this was when my turning point came, there was another but that's a different story. For me and later others, there were noticeable changes about myself that I liked. I was able to relay my feelings and thoughts readily, replacing simple words with richer ones, which allowed those suppressed emotions out. I became calmer, more assured, confident and able to interact with others; strangers whereas in the past, I found it difficult to not come out of my shell only sticking my head out like a turtle when the coast was clear.

Books gave me a path to see other's perspective, see new things outside of my limited experiences, expanded my vocabulary, different avenues of showing love and how I would like to be treated. I don’t know where I’d be without my books, they encouraged me to purchase my first iPad, my second and a laptop all for the sole purpose of storing my books. I haven’t purchased a physical book in years, epub, pdf, mobi have been a money saver, with the number of books I’ve read I wouldn’t know what to do with them after I’m done with them. I wouldn't want to give them up anyway.

Now Vocal is giving me an opportunity to put what my teachers always saw in me to the test. I hope others are able to feel the emotions I try to convey through my writing and get to know me based on what and how I write. Though I don't enter every challenge presented, I appreciate the m nonetheless.

On that note, there wasn’t a specific one-time event but a cumulative of situations that led me to what I needed. What I needed to flourish, to explore my horizons, to be…me.