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To the Person Who Crushed My Writer's Ego

I'm not mad, but I have some things to say

By Dani BananiPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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To the Person Who Crushed My Writer's Ego
Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

It's painful when your passion feels as though it's a nuisance to the world. How does one cope with that? Everyone, at some point, finds something to be passionate about. When some degrades, mocks, or belittles the product of your passion, it can sting to the center of your soul. Passion, in my opinion, derives from the soul itself: it's something that engulfs you so entirely, your heart has to spill part of it over into the soul so your entire being can keep it safe and present in your mind.

Obviously, writing is my passion, that's why I'm here! My passion began through reading magical tales, realistic situations, and every book my tiny hands could snatch up on library days at school. Reading eventually turned into writing poetry, which evolved into short stories and journal entries. I loved the feeling, and I embraced it wholeheartedly. When I discovered Vocal, I found an entirely new exuberance for my writing; the challenges gave prompts, and reading fellow writers' work has inspired me in multiple ways (not to mention, touching my soul with a lot of heartfelt poetry and stories.)

I love what I've written for Vocal. Even if there are typos, grammatical errors, or imperfections on some level, I'm proud that I continue to produce content. So much so that I want to share my words with as many people as possible. It's my way to connect to humanity, since I'm notoriously awkward about doing that in person.

By Alexander Shatov on Unsplash

Since I started exploring ways to promote my articles and stories through social media (my Facebook page and my Twitter account), I've grown dedicated about sharing what goes on in my head. The fact that my partner, friends, family, and The Vocal Creators Lounge have been so encouraging of my sincerest passion has uplifted my confidence tremendously. I want to reach more people. I want readers and I am especially excited to hear when readers enjoy and/or relate to my writing. It is something I've always loved to do, and the validation and support is wonderful. My goal on social media is to, obviously, attract new readers regularly. It's a painful truth to admit that my family and friends will read my work, but after over forty stories/articles posted, the excitement dwindles down and people don't have time to read everything I write. Thus, my interest in attracting readers from other platforms.

Recently, I had just finished promoting some new articles when I came across a tweet that read, "Are there any normal people I can follow who don't spend all their time promoting their art and writing?"

By Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

It stung, deeply, because sharing what I'm proud of having created is one of the best parts of being a writer. Rejection happens and I'm quite used to that, but this was painful. "Normal people?" I see nothing abnormal about being a creator, be it writing, drawing, painting, graphic design, architecture, and so on. Being an enthusiastic writer isn't my way of being annoying, and I certainly wouldn't say I'm out to bother people when I promote things I'm happy I made. Not to mention, writers don't tend to gain a lot of respect online unless they're traditionally published (thank you to all indie supporters.) It feels like an endless, uphill battle to try and sell your writing when the general consensus is that we must not be good enough at our craft if we aren't ranked amongst authors like Dean Koontz or Stephen King (not that I don't respect their talent!)

I'm not mad now (although you did break me for a while and I WAS pretty mad), but it bothers me that people's promotions of their passions would be regarded as something so abnormal that you'd like to avoid it.

To each their own, but I wish you would have found a more compassionate way to say that self promotion of any form of art is not what you're looking for in followers. If you do not care to be proud of creators, that's fine, but there are ways to be kind about it.

By Axville on Unsplash

Writing doesn't mean the same thing to everyone, and I understand that. I'm not out to rant, rave, and bash the person who broke my ego for a while. I'm still here, still writing, and I'll continue to do so. However, when your creations are so precious to you, feeling like you're annoying can drag down your spirit. It can damage your creativity for a while and create a disconnect in the one thing you're most passionate about. That kind of pain has probably been felt by a lot of fellow writers, so not only is this an open letter to the woman who crushed my ego for a while, it's a shout-out to my fellow Vocal creators who may have experienced what I did (or my fellow creators, period, because all of your work means a lot to me.)

To my fellow writers:

Please don't stop promoting your work. Someone is going to love it, and even if it's one person, that's still better than not promoting at all.

I know that our work will not always be appreciated by everybody, and seeking universal popularity is a pointless endeavor, but at the very least we could do much better without the comments like I've had to read.

Besides, what is a "normal" person anyway, if not someone who creates and promotes creations? Do we even want to be that type of normal? Does the word "normal" even apply to writers who promote their work? I have a lot of questions about this take, but I'll leave it be. I can't control everything, nor do I want to, because I learn from painful experiences. I hope other creators feel similarly.

For now, I'm leaning on you, my fellow writers and creators of all sorts, because I know I'm understood in this regard. I know that we have an unbreakable community, where we lift each other up, provide helpful advice, read each other's work, and congratulate each other on successes rather than feel a need to compete. Thank you for being my rock; you're working alongside my muse to ensure my passion is safely kept.

To myself:

Stop pretending you don't mind shutting down your self-promotion and get back to it.

Stop letting such a negative view of written art damage your creative scope. You're better than that.

Remember the good things only: the Top Stories, the stats, the kindness and support of our Vocal moderator team, the tips, the amazing prompts for challenges, and the opportunity to improve your skill.

I'm not telling myself to just simply "get over it." I'm telling myself to grow from it, and to anyone who has felt like I have: I hope you grow from your pain, too.

I hope you (and every other writer) never stop producing content. I hope I get to keep reading new, amazing concepts every day.

With love,

Dani Banani, a proud writer

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About the Creator

Dani Banani

I write through the passion I have for how much the world around me inspires me, and I create so the world inside me can be manifested.

Mom of 4, Birth Mom of 1, LGBTQIA+, I <3 Love.

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