To My Inner Child
I will never neglect you ever again.
I don't know how to start telling you words that I couldn't tell you before, until now. No matter what you go through in life, or what happens to you, or what is said to you, don't take it personally. Listen to me, it's for your mental health, it's for you to not to get hurt. I'm afraid, I can't stop that from happening. This is why I couldn't write to tell you the things that I know that you will have to face one day. But, with my guidance, it won't be so hard, you are going to make it and you will win all the challenges in life. Keep this in mind, NOTHING is happening to you, but its for your best. I promise. You love so much and you don't know when to stop or know when it is real. We didn't get the emotional support and love we wanted as kids, so we were looking for a special love in basically every boy that was cute. But don't do that. Life at home will be really hectic, our parents fighting and passing out drunk will make you runaway. You will be afraid and want to seek a boy to make you feel safe. It will depending on who you meet and get to know. I don't think I can stop that either. Oh boy! I love you and I will guide you along the way. I will be that positive silent voice that you can't hear, you will just know it's me. Listen to me!!
One thing I can tell you is don't runaway from your problems, they will catch up to you. Don't think just because dad hit mom and she stayed with him, that you have to be the same way. That is wrong. They didn't know any better, they were raised like that in Mexico. Their beliefs were messed up. You are one very smart beautiful girl, guard your heart, don't fall in love with just anyone. Don't, I repeat, DON'T.
There is bad people who only want someone to play with. You will know when you meet the person you need to be with. There might be a few. You may get hit like a boy when they try to control you. You will stand up for yourself. You are strong. You will get out of those situations until you realize that you are making the same mistake over again but with different guys. You will finally had enough. You have to love yourself more than you do with other people. Some don't even deserve you, You will have kids and they are the reason why you get away from some people, you need to protect them. Then when you do meet this one guy, that is different than the other ones. You know he was sent to you for a special reason. The reason why I say this, is that he will make you feel invisible, like you never mattered to him. But, why can't he love me, you will ask? He will love it when you cry to him. You won't see what he is doing to you, he is ripping you apart. Making you lose your identity and you will feel empty and lonely inside. You will be forced to live somewhere else without the kids, you will feel like you are a nobody. Nobody has ever made you feel that way. You will know how it feels to be ignored, to have nothing at all. I hope you don't turn into drugs like I did. When you become empty inside after starving yourself, you will discover some magic inside you, that you didn't know you had. You will start showing that magic off. You will rise up and get yourself together. You will get tired of feeling like shit. You will meet some cuties along the way to keep you company. You will change their lives and have an impact in their life. You discovered your purpose. You make people feel good and you motivate them into doing their best because you helped yourself. Your words will have power when you speak. You will start shining.
Then you will fall into a trap to the same person who tore you apart. This will repeat and repeat until you love yourself and you no longer see him as you used to. You will know your self-worth, you had enough of his shit. He will notice that when you don't beg him anymore. He thought this day would never come, it happened every year for 7 years. You were neglecting your needs 100%, you couldn't even call him without him getting mad, you couldn't say how you felt, he didn't care. He was emotionally absent. But he would brainwash you thinking that it was normal. Don't regret meeting him, or anyone in life. They are the reason why you are, who you are today. God was preparing you for the woman that you chose to be, in a field of Psychology. You want to help people heal mentally, because you know how it feels to be in that situation. Teach people that mean people do exist, and they are hard to get away from, they are manipulative, they are toxic. You will teach self-love and how people should know when they are being abusive to them. You will show how to set healthy boundaries and know when to leave someone and you will help alot of people. You will make a difference in their lives. You will become successful and you will find that true love one day, and you will be respected finally. You deserve it. As if nothing ever happened to you, because you will see the reward from it all. I am proud of you, only if you knew,
About the author
Welcome to a pisces journey, where being understanding is a curse & a blessing. After attracting abusive relationships.... life with alcohol, drugs and emotions. I had to re-learn everything I was taught to attract better. Finding myself