To Life, Tribute

　　Maybe I've grown up and am not a child anymore. I don't know why I feel this way all of a sudden. This thing called life is not fun, he gave me too much and made me lose too much, especially this year, making me feel heartbroken. And I still keep my truest smile to face everyone, I want to stay optimistic, but unnaturally present in the world.

　　When I was three years old, I was lured by my parents to go to someone else's foster home, and it seems that the most profound memory in that memory is hiding under the covers at night and crying secretly until I fell asleep. There was also that little walled yard that was called out half a step outside, the place that carried all my childhood memories. At that time, I could play with mud all day in the courtyard alone, and I could also play house alone, talking to myself. That's all I can recall about my childhood. Loneliness is also a synonym for my childhood.

　　Ten years later, because of my rebellious and unruly, I began to mix the world and live a muddled life. Fighting and gambling became the hallmarks of my era. I was looked down upon, snubbed by teachers, ridiculed by others, and ostracized by others. Finally, I couldn't stay in my foster family's home and was kicked back home. My parents didn't trust me, so I dropped out of school and was forced to pick bricks by my parents. I worked as a laborer and had my body broken by my parents. At that time, I was beaten and often beat others. I was summoned by the Public Security Bureau, and I made a statement, and I was cut up and knocked up by others. Later, my parents didn't care about me, my teachers gave up on me, and my classmates avoided me because of a chance concern from my father, which made me decide to reform, and the change started from that time. I also wrote a real article "Farewell, Fudo" to pay tribute to my dark junior high school. I sometimes lamented, even regretted, why I couldn't just live simply and be with my parents, like other people's children.

　　It wasn't until later that I understood the love my parents had for me. I tried to understand my parents and studied hard in my senior year, and although I wasted two years of high school, I remained optimistic. It was from that time that I became silent and became quiet. About the result, I don't want to say much. I worked hard and have no regrets.

　　Last year, I graduated.

　　When I got to college, I realized that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Alone out there, perhaps too far from home to know what home feels like. I always stick to the saying that one can be ordinary, but not mediocre. I try to strive for progress. I am very hardworking, I always make myself persist and persist again, I try to earn money, very frugal, very frugal. I didn't ask my parents for another penny for college, even though they were worried.

　　I didn't go to military training and wandered around the city alone, running through the streets looking for a co-op. To this day, I still admire my courage at that time. I am grateful that some people, probably out of admiration or sympathy, allowed me to work together, and I earned money to buy a suit for someone I liked, although it was cheap.

　　In school, I created a business, and finally failed to end, I opened an online store. People always politely call me Mr. Sun, I know, and I understand that it is ironic, but I still gladly accept it and give them the kindest smile. A long time ago, I do not get angry with others. Smiling is the way I treat others.

　　In March, a person left me and left me devastated. I felt like I could never get up again. I felt sorry for the loss before I knew how to cherish it, although I don't think it was my fault, at least I was sincere. I began to wander away from the world and went to many places to dissipate my mind. Wanted to go singing, and eventually chose to give up, the heart is tired. However, I have been very kind, very kind, or will be foolish to give and change.

　　In June, I went home. Home to the big flood, the warehouse was flooded, and the loss is heavy. Faced with the ocean, that realm of despair, I was very open, and I am still shocked that the first person who surfaced to me at that time was not my parents, but her, the one who left me. I still laughed, and I hoped that laughing would dissolve my pain, but it forced my mood even more.

　　In July, I opened tutorials. I was frustrated by the constant problems, the collective strike of the staff, the control of the city police, the vicious competition by others, and all the difficulties I carried through alone. I didn't think about giving up anything in the past, I just wanted to work hard and prove myself strong. Later, she came back, I did not care about her departure, I was very tolerant and open to accepting. Give her the best, as much as I can. Efforts to change for her, the results of a sentence you ask yourself in the end to change, I hurt me very thoroughly, about her, I exhausted the mind, enough of aggression, but I still will not count these, just some fear.

　　Sometimes, I can walk a long way to save a few dollars. Sometimes I can pass myself off with instant noodles and then always be careful to ask her what she wants to eat, even though she's not mine right now. I said I could suffer, I could pull a crate to transport tables and chairs on the street by myself, and I could cook meals for the staff by myself. Two cramming classes, and never bought a bottle of mineral water on the way back and forth. I don't know what force drives me to do this, I just think, I can suffer, I can be better for others.

　　I will be more generous to my friends, and no longer bother with the chicken scratch, I make money, and the treats are also invited. I bought an air conditioner for my grandmother's house, I bought a remote control plane for my brother, and I bought a new computer for my family. The only thing I didn't do was promise to buy an iPhone for someone, and I felt guilty. And to Hao Liang students, originally together with the film, the result of poor care, the conditions are difficult, I hope to forgive.

　　Of course, I will continue to work hard. My requirements for myself, are still very low, I use the phone used by my parents, I wear discounted clothes, I will walk a long way, I can eat the cheapest instant noodles, can sleep on the floor, can count every time their expenses. I will always take my brother with me, teach him to read, and cook for him. I'm not trying to shape myself into something great and treat myself this way, because life is realistic, because I'm independent and strong, I have to do this.

　　With the economic crisis, and the decline of the toy factory, parents are still very busy, all day to go outside collecting debts. On August 3, the parent's quarrel, to the point of fighting. The mother took a knife to kill to fight, and the father cried on the phone because he was holding back. I was a son and rushed to their side overnight. I didn't know what was going on and I was frustrated, but I tried to be strong. I stayed with my dad like a son and went to find my mom who had run away from home in the middle of the night. I cried as I walked and searched on the road, questioning myself as to why I was fighting so hard when I could have been enjoying a comfortable life in college on my parent's dime. Finally, my mother was found by me and we cried together. Life is like chocolate, you never know the color of the next one. My mother later left, taking all her money and bank cards with her, not answering her phone.

　　A decades-long relationship, sincere and bumpy.

　　On the afternoon of August 4, I was somewhere, crying in someone's arms.

　　Later, I always asked my father if he had any money around, and then gave him a portion of my savings. I felt dependent on my father, who was indeed old and emaciated. The good thing was that later my mother came back and I didn't have to worry about being a son. Then I gave her the rest of my summer vacation, hoping she would be happy, but as a result, she was always busy, always making me feel unrealistically present, and finally, I stopped asking for anything.

　　I have not seen and chatted with my friends for many years, and I was envious of these friends who studied well and got into good universities, and I also existed with low self-esteem, always feeling that I was no longer in the same class as them. As a result, my friend opened his mouth and said he admired me, and I immediately felt heartbroken. Never to complain about anything, and never to loathe anything, I have always believed in a saying, the sky will come down to a great task is also a person, must first if its mind, labor its muscles and bones, starve its body, empty its body, line whisking it's for, so move the heart to endure the nature, had benefited its can not. Life has given me too many trials and tribulations, I chose such a life, I should have been disgusted, loneliness accompanied me so far, and I also had enough endurance. But here I am today, saluting life, saluting myself, and I hope that those who have read it you and me together.

　　To life, once again, salute.