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Where do I begin...

By Ashley Published 5 years ago 3 min read
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Kinda what the inside of my head looks/feel like....

Sooooo… I have been saying for an extremely long time that I would like to start a blog or something where I can write my random "mom-isims," "teacher thoughts," "silently screaming on the inside wife/mother vents." I tried writing in a journal, and yeah, that worked, but... I couldn't be consistent. I came across this ad while scrolling through my IG, ya know, just chillin. When I saw it I was like, "Hey, maybe you should save this so you can look at it later... you know when, you're at work doing nothing..." Well... here I am.

I guess I should introduce myself... I will call my self Eve. I am a mother of two—girl/boy, not at the same time! LOL... I am married... five years in 2020, 10 years together in 2020. Ummmmm I am a teacher (ooooohhhhh yeaaaa you're poooooooorrrrr)… better yet, I am a Special Needs Teacher (yaaaayyyy you deal with amazingly stressful situations all the time, and STILL make no money). Any who, did I mention my husband is a teacher as well? (BALLERZ!) So my husband and I were blessed with two beautiful children and an amazing support system (lol). You'll see why this is funny eventually. Okay, so my husband and I decided to move our little family about four hours away from my family. Not only four hours away from my family but to be about two minutes away from his parents. Side note: I picked the location. So my family and I have been in this new place since June. We are all adjusting. Both of us work about an hour away from home. I'm currently working part time at a school who won't hire me full time because an 11 year teacher costs more per year than a 1st year teacher. My husband snagged a gig at an elementary school as a PE coach and then a football coach at a high school 30 minutes from his elementary school! Good times, right!

What am I supposed to do all day??? I've spent all my time when I get off at the school trying to find online jobs. Some sort of respectable job for some one with a Bachelors degree... ya know? But all I can find is cock shit... excuse my language... if you don't like cursing then you should just stop reading...

Idk I just... don't know what to do or where to go. Am I still in the right field? I actually WANT to make money... I hate living paycheck to paycheck... how do I get there... I thought I was there... I was happy where I was.... but I can't dwell on that... I'm looking forward, however, I did not pick the greatest career path. I guess I've just been feeling pretty shitty because of the lack of income. I know the hubby is busting his ass to get us comfortable but crap man... I just feel like I've been making the same amount of money my entire life. Like when do we get to make more? Do I go back to school? That might just make people not want to hire me even more... ughhhh do you all have any suggestions for me to keep my self busy for three and a half hours. I can’t go home, it’s too far! That’s it, I’m through with adulting!!! It’s just hard, when for the past 10 years you’ve thought you're going in one direction, and then all of a sudden you're 18 again, not knowing what you want to do with your life? I wish I could go back. If I could I’d change my career for sure!

IDK that is all...

for now...

—Eve

xoxo

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