Things I wish I knew in my 20s...

Once upon a time, there was a young individual who embarked on their journey into their thirties. Surprisingly, these initial years proved to be far better than any moment experienced throughout their twenties. It turned out that the things they once believed would bring them happiness were merely illusions.

Behind closed doors, anxiety and depression plagued their existence, but they concealed it for far too long. As they reflect on their twenties, there are numerous lessons they wish they had known. Here, I present to you the seven most crucial ones.

Number one: Do not let anyone control your life. Regrettably, this lesson was learned the hard way. In their twenties, they got married at the tender age of 22 but ended up divorced at 28. Warning signs were prevalent during their dating phase, yet they failed to heed them. Every day felt like a careful dance, avoiding anything that would provoke anger. And when anger did arise, it was met with screams and degrading insults. Time spent with their own family was limited, as their partner despised such interactions. And when they did manage to see their loved ones, guilt consumed them. In the end, they no longer recognized themselves and despised the person they had become.

However, amidst the hardships, a silver lining emerged. Enduring those difficult times allowed them to understand their true needs in a partner. They found their soulmate, an incredible individual named Bailey, and had the opportunity to remarry at the age of 31. If it meant going through those trials again to be with Bailey, they would not hesitate. It is perfectly acceptable to be single in one's twenties. Settling for less than what one deserves should never be an option. If a relationship proves toxic, do not be afraid to end it. Your future self will thank you.

Number two: Confront your anxiety. Dealing with anxiety in one's twenties is crucial before it spirals out of control, hindering daily functioning. The individual recounts a story of their college presentation. On that fateful day, their mind raced with fear and anticipation. Despite weeks of preparation, the moment they began speaking, their heart pounded furiously. Every eye in the room felt like a judgmental gaze, intensifying their nerves. Though the presentation concluded, they couldn't help but feel like a failure. For a long time, they attempted to dismiss their anxiety, labeling it as mere nerves. But anxiety does not work that way; it cannot be ignored and hoped away. There is no shame in seeking help and employing various coping mechanisms. Eating a balanced diet, engaging in regular exercise, practicing deep breathing exercises or yoga, and prioritizing sleep all contribute to managing anxiety effectively. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of, and addressing it in one's twenties leads to a more fulfilling life.

Number three: Follow your heart, not others' expectations. It is easy to succumb to the pressures of conforming to societal norms or meeting the expectations of family and friends. Parents urge their children to pursue financially stable careers with good benefits, while friends advocate following one's passions without worrying about money. Society perpetuates the idea of fitting in. While it is essential to consider others' perspectives, ultimately, the decision lies with the individual. Throughout college, this person changed their major multiple times, seeking that spark of passion. They tried sports medicine and history teaching, but neither felt right. However, when they ventured into an introductory computer science course, everything changed. From that moment, they knew in their heart that it was the path for them. Since 2016, they have earned over $825,000 as a freelancer on Upwork. Following their heart allowed them to live life on their terms, staying true to themselves, and reaping the rewards in the end.