The “Write Stuff”!

The “Write Stuff”!

& The “Creativity Curse”

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Why I write.

Why do I write?

Why Should you write?

Is it for dreams of George R. R. Martin type fame?

Is it for a vain hope of J.K Rowling level of wealth?

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I cannot peak for you,

But I, myself shout…

Hell no!

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BECAUSE…

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1)

I do not like people!

So, Being famous would be a nightmare!

2)

I have seen “money”, I have seen real “wealth” and its problems.

I would rather NOT be a target!

Or have to “Fit in” with that sort of person.

(I am not implying that rich people are worse than anyone else, -we are all scum - but they do seem to be imprisoned by their fortune rather than liberated by it.)

(All those pointless social commitments and delusional mores obligations they constantly chain themselves with seems like a real drag!)

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All I want?

“Ha ha ha ha ha

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)

I wanna really, really, really wanna -

– dull stable minimum wage and no human contact”

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(That was a spice girl reference, based on lyrics from Songwriters: Melanie Chisholm / Geri Halliwell / Victoria Beckham / Emma Bunton / Melanie Brown / Matthew Paul Rowbottom / Richard Stannard

Wannabe lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Peermusic Publishing)

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I just want to earn a minimum wage,

So, I can come off government benefits,

Without having to mix with other humans.

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At best, I would be happy just ‘hard caping’ my income at 20k a year

(at 2021ad and an NHS still existing prices).

I do not need any more than that!

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SO, why DO I write, exactly?

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The answer is.

I have to.

It is a compulsion,

A constant state of keyboard diarrhoea

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How often do I write?

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Every day, compulsively!

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Because I have to!

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I have no other choice!

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As a heroin addict needing his fix,

my skin itches and mind won't settle unless I do "at least" a few hundred words a day,

...at a bone bare minimum!

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I hear people complain of writer's block and think

"It would be lovely to have that for just 24 hours so I can take a break!".

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ALL, My typed text, is as a vampire, draining my life force against my will! for its very birth!

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http://www.lombot.co.uk/

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THE CREATIVITY CURSE!

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A TALE OF 2 WRITERS

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Type 1.

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The Ones That Do Not Really Understand Creativity!

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“Taking drugs must be helpful for My writing.

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All sorts of famous writers got high or drunk to inspire their creativity!

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That is why they drink and take loads of drugs!

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It makes them better writers!”

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Type 2

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The Ones Cursed With Actual Creativity.

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“Shit! I have to get pissed and self-medicate again to give me some rest from all these bloody ideas that will NOT STOP bombarding me when I am sober!

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I NEED TO SLEEP NOW!

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It is the ONLY way I can turn off my brain!

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Pass Me that bottle!”

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Sometimes I literally have to drink the inspiration away to get some sleep.

Sometimes I have to resort to Self-medicating with alcohol to suppress the creativity, in order, to get some rest.

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Which would be fine “IF” I were a genius,

But I am not.

Almost all the ideas storming the fortress of my sanity are very crap!

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It would be a price well worth paying,

“if” I was at least a tiny bit any good!

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Instead of being suck as a sucky dyslexic with such very crap spelling and grammar.

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(Which I am sure all you “good” writers out there have already noticed by now!)

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Ok then, So,

Does anyone want to hire me for only 8p a word (min 5£) See examples at

https://vocal.media/authors/ross-e-fortune-lombardi

and

https://www.ringdomstory.com/user?authorId=i0PzorcSDyrNBZAEkXcf4w%3D%3D

OR buy any A2 bespoke are for only £30 plus shipping?

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Contact

[email protected]

To offer me some work.

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PS

OR

See other work examples on my blog,

(Link banned by Fartbook)

Lombot.Co.UK

Advertising space is also available to rent on there.

!

(at 2021ad and an NHS still existing prices).

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MY SO-CALLED STYLE (or a lack thereof)

So here I now am,

Stuck as a recluse,

With a writing style best described as follows…

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Some less than honest reviews of my writing

(Not real reviews, I made these up myself.)

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“An unholy mixture of a Wannabe Terry Pratchett infected with the much darker sicker humour of a far less funny version of Seth MacFarlane with a dash of counterfeit Sarah Silverman.”

The 'I Made It Up' Thymes.

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“Not a single giggle that I did not feel deeply guilty about immediately afterwards!”

The Fictitious Press

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“That Ross is quite sexy for an old, fat, unwashed straight bloke”

The Daily Male

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You can find books of mine here…

https://www.ringdomstory.com/user?authorId=i0PzorcSDyrNBZAEkXcf4w%3D%3D

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And yes, this entire article IS a half-arse sad attempt at self-promotion…

That IS kind of the WHOLE POINT of the internet…

To sell you crap!

(Not, instead, as you might naively believe, to let you face chat your granny for free…)

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Often you hear a voice from the internet cry out…

“There is NO POINT is posting and writing on various sites”

“Give up!”

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To them I say…

You are both "right" and "wrong".

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THE REASONS YOU ARE RIGHT.

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The chances of making winning any of the contest is very unlikely,

(let us face it, they will choose what is best promotes their site NOT the best writing!)

The chances of making any money ‘per reading’ is equally unlikely.

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For example,

If you choose to have Vocal + then you certainly will not make enough money per month to cover the monthly membership.

But then again,

This is also true of all ALL such similar sights, including Vocal, Starry Writing, Wattpad, Fivver, Wordy ect, ect.

You are working for FAR less than minimum wage!

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THE REASONS YOU ARE WRONG.

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You are seeing such sites the “Wrong way”

I do not write on these sites because of the money I can get from them.

While you will NEVER make a living wage from any of them, even combined. you WILL, However, increase your exposure.

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I write on these sites in the hope that a publisher or an editor will see them and want to offer me a job or a commission.

They are a living CV, Headshot, or Tape Sample.

(A bit like the writing equivalent of busking outside a recording studio!)

Yes, it is still a billion to one chance,

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But you can never win a lottery if you never buy a ticket!

It gives hope, where none should exist.

And what value can be truly placed on the abstract concept of human hope no matter how delusional or displaced that hope might be?

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Without some form of baseless “hope”, what are we all?

How else are you going to spit defiantly in the eye of the greater universe?

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(Note, I say again, all I want is a stable minimum wage and other humans – NOT fame and fortune!)

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HELL!

Just the fact that anyone wants you to stop, is more than a good enough reason to keep going!

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(Even ‘IF’ that “Someone” is your own dam self!)

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