The Silent Contract You Have With Your Reader

If you're anything like me, you will have succumb to the temptation of trying to lure readers in with dramatic language, evocative words, sexy images, and exaggerated stories that add more excitement to your story than what was actually experienced. 

Sometimes I even spoke of things that I knew nothing about and sometimes I even taught about subjects I had no right to teach. 

In the beginning, I would often oversell myself and underdeliver. I proclaimed myself to be a master yet I was a complete novice. It was greed, really. I wanted more views and more money but I wasn't good enough to earn either so I made myself out to be someone I wasn't. 

What I didn't realise at the time was that I was breaking the most fundamental rule that any writer has with their reader - trust. 

You see, our title, subtitle, and image indicate what's to come. It creates a certain expectation from the reader and if done well, it also creates a certain excitement and anticipation. 

There's a silent agreement that both parties agree upon here: Writers silently say "this is what I'm offering." And the reader says, "that sounds good, I'll take a look."

However, only one person can break that contract and that is you - the writer. 

Then, what happens in the next 30 seconds is crucial. 

We live in a fast-paced, over-stimulated, finger-happy, what's-coming-next culture so although we all want to be enchanted by a new writer, we are also happy to drop and run at the first appropriate turn. 

So, here's why the first 30 seconds are crucial 

There are hundreds of thousands of blogs published every day, so we somehow have to convince our readers that our little blog is as good, if not better than all the others that are on offer. And that's only the beginning. 

It's a fickle business but it keeps us on our toes.  

We're a skeptical bunch these days and I 100% include myself in that category. Although I have clicked on a new writer and am genuinely interested in what they have to say, I'm also secretly hoping they give me an easy way out. As harsh as it sounds I'll happily drop them and look elsewhere if they give me the slightest excuse. It's twisted and unfair, I know, but it's true. 

That's why the first 30 seconds are the most important. In that time, a reader can read the title and subtitle, check out the image, click through, read the first line, and possibly even the first paragraph. 

If I've honoured the silent contract we both, I will have hopefully confirmed your decision to stay and soothed your doubting mind to see what I have to say. 

However, if I break this contract and my title and subtitle don't relate to what this blog is about or it's full of typos, you have every right to run away immediately, or at least, I would anyway. 

So, here are the terms to the silent contact: 

1. Deliver on what you have promised.
2. Be honest, authentic, and original.

That's it. 

Window shopping

Our titles, subtitles, and images are like window shopping. If the shop window portrays car parts but actually sells sports equipment, the customer is going to walk straight back out the door. A blog on the internet is the same. However, if we meet the terms above, a lifelong relationship can start to form. 

Remember the good old days?

This silent contract reminds me of the good old days where two people would make a deal with a handshake and six fabulous words - "don't worry, you have my word."

This was the norm before legal matters came into the picture and suing become a fashionable thing to do. Writers are bringing this old traditional method of exchange back and we're proving that it means something again. 

So, here are the four ways in which to uphold this silent contract and have your reader trusting you when you utter those fabulous six words, "don't worry, you have my word." 

1. Be professional.
2. Be honest.
3. Be authentic.
4. Be original. 

Be Professional

Don't worry, I'm not talking about writing perfect English, or using fancy words that show you're academic wizardry. As much as there is a place for this kind of "proper" writing, it's certainly not relevant to online writing (thank goodness!)

So, when I say be professional, I'm talking about doing the things that make you a writer. Or make your reader believe that you're a writer. 

• Choose a good title, subtitle, and first-line 
• Deliver on what you have promised
• Create headings to chop up your writing and make it more digestible
• Avoid huge walls of writing that intimidate your reader 
• Make your message clear and concise. No one wants to read words they need a dictionary to understand. 
• Format well 
• Take advantage of your platform of choice tricks and tools 
• Make legitimate claims and follow up with legitimate links

Be honest 

Honesty builds trust. It's as simple as that. But what does it take to be honest? 

It takes speaking from a place of truth, from a place of lived experience. Even if that place is one of having no experience at all. You can speak about how not knowing causes anxiety, for example, or a sense of being inferior, incompetent, nervous, excited, or whatever else it might be. Do you see my point?

As we all experience the world in our own unique ways and we all have our own set of emotions, we can always share our experiences. 

It's scary being honest, but it's also liberating. And if you can't be honest for yourself, be honest for your reader. If you can, you also invite them to be honest too, and what better gift to give to the world than open honest living? 

Be authentic 

When Liz Murphy wrote this blog outlining her battle with an eating disorder, I immediately felt connected to her. That's all readers want really - to feel like they know a part of who they are reading.  

So, share your story, invite people into your world, and don't be afraid to show them around for a while. Liz did and now I'm curious as to what else she'll share. 

I promise you that if you do, you won't need to invite anyone around anymore, they'll come knocking all by themselves. 

And if I still haven't convinced you to be yourself, remember this: No relationship grows without vulnerability. 

When we can let our guard down and admit that we're scared, nervous, angry, sad, jealous, wrong, and a flawed human being, people are so much more willing to share in our happiness, joy, and peace because we've built trust, compassion, and connection. 

Everyone knows that there's no such thing as a perfect life anyway so why pretend that we're living one? And even if your life is as close to perfect as one can get, always remember what Mark Manson said: Everything sucks some of the time. 

And writing is no different. 

I found it to be such a relief when I realised that I didn't have to know all the answers, be the perfect writer, or have my shit figured out. 

Writing is a part of the process of figuring it out, whatever "it" is. 

An authentic writer keeps everyone at eye level. There's no pretence or pedestals, there's only realness. People can relate to realness. They might not always like it but they'll always respect it. 

Be original 

We don't need to reinvent the wheel or go as far as Shakespeare and create a whole library of words, we just need to write. And being original is easier than it first seems. 

As much as we 99.9% exactly the same as all other human beings, our unique 0.01% is what makes all the difference. That 0.01% makes our brains fire and wire differently, it makes us have different backgrounds, childhood traumas, family connections, life experiences, perceptions, language, accents, race, sex, culture, religion, likes and dislikes, desires and fears. 

So, by all means, learn from other writers, be inspired by them, pay homage to them even, but always come back to who you are, what you want to say, and how you want to say it. 

Your life is original so use your voice as a tool to showcase it.