''THE JOURNEY OF STARTING FROM ZERO''

Hey there!, if you have miss clicked on this blog to know about a success story or tips/tricks to become successful then this is not for you. This blog is basically me bragging about how ''Good'' I failed, (*yeah I have a dark humor, thank you*). Now that I have accepted and realized my defeat I actually can joke and even write about it. And before I start with how did I end up writing about it, I would like to give you a little slip into my personality. I am a 19-year-old, very average looking, an amazing procrastinator, and the biggest overthinker you will probably ever know.

So if you are still here you must be wondering what kind of defeat did I have, well my actual defeat was not getting accepted into Medical school. Sounds like an average story of thousands of kids right? But no, hear me out, not only did I fail in academics, I had also finely failed in every aspect of life. Family and personal relationships, health, self-image, financial status, friendships, self-confidence, you name it, I failed it. Just like a random quote I heard the other day when it hits, it hits hard (*probably harder than Will Smith I guess*)

And all of this was not because I had never failed or scored low in my life, but it was different because I wasn't winning anywhere. As a child I have always been that kid who was an example of academic excellence for other kids in my family but now that kid was all gone. But as I told you before I am an overthinker so somewhere in my wildest thoughts I had already imagined something like this would happen in the future (*me crying close to my room window with some sad background music*). So when the thing actually happened, it blew me away as now my fears have come to life.

It might sound like I am being dramatic, and it's not even that bad but trust me for an Asian kid like me, it's a lot to process both for me and my family (*if you know, you know*). And if you are reading this after like 28th of October I am probably done with weeping, isolating, planning and a lot more. Do you know what's the hardest after failing anything? It's the redoing part, yeah I mean that starting from the starting line stuff. The process where you schedule a morning routine starting from 5 am thinking that the toughest part was 'just waking up' and later processing that it was just a trailer.

Some of my few days went somewhat like this; my alarm went off, and I hit the snooze, it took me a way much time to wake up. I went to the bathroom and my mirror image was not someone I really knew, and later I came back with the dilemma if I should just go back to my bed. Later I was supposed to write my to-do list, but I was stuck if I could actually do it. Almost a day goes by, and I am still in the shallow waters thinking maybe I should swim to save myself, or should I just let it go there's no point anyway.

But you know what I do next? “I wake up again” and maybe I am uncertain of the next events, but I am still trying until I think that doing this is still better than not doing anything. And this is where I actually started my journey of “starting from zero”.

I think I did a lot of talking in my first blog (*I wholeheartedly apologize for poring out my depression don't worry it's not contagious*). I would be writing a lot while I am on my way to reach from zero to whatever greater number I possibly can and if you think it's relatable please do share your thoughts with me. This series would also be a memoir for me so that when I look back I can see how far I have come. Thank you for reading and have a productive day.