The JOMO of my New Year's Eve

To begin, Happy New Year, to all of us.

I can tell you how my New Year's Eve was going to be. It was going to be with a woman, in Costa Rica, with fireworks, in a lush forest setting overlooking a volcano. New Years Day would be hot springs, suspension bridges, and waterfalls. However, that relationship ended some moons ago.

I shifted my plane ticket originally from the 30th onward, to go from Christmas day to a few days over New Years. I am accustomed to solo travel, and while I've had some challenging travel experiences (not going to name any names - eh hmm Paris - let's just say you, this, this Emily who is in Paris, you Emily are having a far better experience than I had (have you seen the netflix show - it's fun!)), I have never regretted travel.

I struggle with time and my memory, so to travel and have an experience is like a bookmark in my brain.

Yet as you may imagine the direction of this narrative, my direction did not take me to Costa Rica. I had this growing 'what if,' and 'what ifs,' can so often be the death of productive action, but I entertained it: what if I did test positive before re-entry into the states and have to quaratine in a hotel for 15 days alone. Decidedly, that would be a reality I very much did not care to experience. Okay okay, simply stated, it would suck!

Moreover, there are two more important experiences I wish to have. I purchased tickets to the US Figure Skating Championships in Nashville, and the week after that is a rather full and important work week.

Reading the former, you may think I must really be into figure skating. I'm not. My mom however, is. My beautiful mom has had it hard these past few years. Her husband had a progressive degenerative illness and a series of strokes. My mom of course was with him through it all, from every scary moment at the house, to every doctors appointment, to every day visiting from 9 to 5 in the assisted living community until he passed a little over a year ago. I can't imagine loosing your person during this time, and yet not able to easily make new supportive connections because of the state of the world and what coming together has become. I think it would be easier for my introverted self, but my mom is like my grandfather, and loves connection and community. It was a quick phone call to say 'hey mom, why don't you jump on a plane and we'll go watch figure skating,' for her to say, 'i'm there.' Called my brother, and he and his wife will be flying down to meet us, and I can't wait to watch my mom watch figure skating live for the first time.

I think I would have loved Costa Rica, even for myself by myself, and there is some fear of missing out; I hope but do not assume the chance will present itself again, none of us ever know what time we have, but to ensure I can have this moment, this memory, with family, gave to the joy of missing out. One could say one fear of missing out was replaced by another, but I view it as the decision to stay as a rest for the nerves and enjoy just being where I already am, with hopes for the upcoming time with family.

I wasn't done with my FOMO though. Nope. So what of New Years. It is my first New Year since leaving Austin, TX and moving to this smaller city in Tennessee. I thought about going out - what experience would I have? The friends I made here are all coupled or married and in bed by 9 so what would it be like on my own? make new friends out and about? would I meet someone? wouldn't I be so lame for not going out? what would I be missing out on if I don't go out? and that FOMO started to show.

While I love to dance salsa and bachata (doesn't mean I'm really any real good at it, just enjoy it), the nightclub scene is a challenging one for once again my introverted self, paired with that I don't drink alcohol (and to give bars and establishments much credit, it is sooooo much easier to get a moctail today and enjoy "drinks" with friends). But what would I miss out on?

What I did decide to do, was leading up to New Year's Eve, I cleaned the house and got rid of some things that I did not want to take into the New Year. I watched my favorite New Year's Eve movie, Last Holiday, (for clarity, The Holiday for Christmas and Last Holiday for New Years), then about 11 pm, I lit candles in the house, wrote down my pages of possabilities for 2022, and come midnight I sat on the porch of this small quaint home I moved to, which has 180 degree views of the mountain and the canyon below, and watched fireworks from neigbors announce the new year as a warm gentle breeze filled the night air. I felt, at peace, and my new years, was its own form of perfect.

There is a balance to everything. Activity transits to periods of rest and when done resting transits to periods of activity. The yin and the yang of it all. What might resting look like for me in 2022? Shifting from FOMO to JOMO, and recognizing what I have already created here, in this present now for myself to be nourished, and sinking into and enjoying that.

So however your New Years has begun for you, I hope you found joy in the experience, and for the prayer of the world, may we all beings be free of suffering, and may we 'all share a cup of kindness.' Happy New Year.