The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

Following are four fortune cookie fortunes I randomly chose out of a bag of more than 1,000 fortunes I have saved throughout the years. I will now try and describe how each fortune relates to my life.

"People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner."

I've never thought of myself as being persuasive. But, I do know that I love people and I enjoy listening to what those around me have to say.

It's like taking the pieces of a puzzle while listening to a person speak and then putting those pieces together. I don't only listen, but I hear and understand. When it comes my turn to speak, I respond appropriately with words that are meaningful and relevant to what the person is saying.

The bottom line is; words that are lovingly sincere, meaningful and relevant, are words that can be persuasive.

"Any doubts you may have will disappear early this month"

Now, this one is very much in line with my life right now. But before I go into what's going on right now, I want to review some of the past briefly.

As a child I had a lot of doubts. I never felt I was good enough. That came from being raised by my stepfather, who always treated me like a stepchild. I was always last for everything and sometimes I wasn't included. Sometimes I was left out completely. When my brother and sister would get an ice cream cone and I didn't - that just crushed me.

These feelings of doubt and inadequacy stuck with me until I was around 45 years. Finally, I stopped doubting my abilities and self-value and recognized that I was just as good as anybody else out there.

Now at the age of 61 my doubts are coming from a different source. I am the full-time, 24/7, caregiver of my 84 year old mom who is in the advanced stages of dementia. If this isn't enough my brother unexpectedly became ill and passed away shortly after my mom's diagnosis.

There are a lot of doubts going on in my mind right now. Only a year ago I was strong, secure, and confident. I felt as if I could conquer anything. Now, I keep getting the feeling that tragedy is following my footsteps - like it will never go away. It's in my fear of ongoing tragedy that these doubts have come to life.

So, I ask; what can I do to quash these doubts and fears?

"You are next in line for promotion in your firm"

A bit of levity. That's how I will take this fortune. I say levity because right now I am not working. It's not that I don't want to work and it's not that I can't work. It is because I am putting what is truly important to me first. The safety, comfort, health, and well-being of my mom is more important to me right now than a paycheck. There is no doubt that getting a weekly paycheck is very important, but my mom is more important. She is not only very ill - but she also recently lost one of her beloved babies. This has been devastating for her.

So, I am looking at the possible promotions I could receive in the work I am currently doing. Every morning I cook breakfast for my mom and this no easy task as my completely blind 84 year old mom with advanced stage dementia can be very impatient. She wants a breakfast, that takes about 14 to 16 minutes to cook, in two minutes. She is constantly telling me to "hurry up" and that she's "hungry right now." I'm going as quick as I can to make this breakfast without giving up the quality of the preparation. I somehow manage to succeed in getting breakfast on the table in a record 12 minutes. So, maybe I will be promoted to 'head cook' in a household of two people.

"A surprise will titillate you and frighten you but you will accept it"

A good friend of mine called me the other day and had several points of news to share with me.

She started off telling me that it was discovered that she has a large tumor on her brain. She said that she would need surgery to remove it. This had her distraught and feeling as if she is nearing the end of her journey on Earth.

This news frightened me. I was devastated at the thought of possibly losing such a dedicated and close friend. But, I hid my feelings because I wanted to be strong for her. She did not need a friend who would cry for her but a friend that would bring her strength and encourage her in the choices she's making in the fight for her life.

Then she gave me the news that she has included me in her Living Trust but that she wanted me to have my inheritance right now because she knows I could use the money right now to assist in caring for my mom and getting by in the day to day. The total sum of the inheritance is large enough to keep our bills paid for the next 13 months and such.

I'm not sure that the news of this inheritance titillated me but it did come at the right time. I accepted this inheritance on the understanding that she does not have to do this. I told her that our friendship does not rely on giving each other money, but is based on respect, creativity, and a sincere friendship that has seen highs, lows and mediums and has grown out of mutual respect and genuine friendship.

In the end as I reviewed each of these fortune cookie fortunes, I saw how perfectly the pieces of the puzzle joined together. It all began with my ability to listen and properly respond. It is this act of lovingly listening and responding in an honest and supportive manner that has lead me to a friendship so strong and durable that I end up with the financial means to care for my elderly mom without worry.