The Downside of Networking

Networking was not a common word for me until I went to this party years ago. It was a huge mansion in Brazil with probably 4 or 5 bathrooms. Someone brought the topic – the importance of networking. She was talking about some social event that she attended in a house of an important Brazilian politician and her friendship with Brazilian intellectuals and policymakers.

This day I gave a ride to a friend and he slept at my home because his house was far from the city centre – In my city, housing is not affordable for the working class, people need to live far away and then take a long time commuting to go to work or university. Sleeping in other people’s homes was a common practice for me as well before finishing graduation. It impacts a lot in people’s ability to do networking, most of the times these students cannot afford to participate in academic events, students’ clubs and… parties.

Social life costs, it costs time, money, the ability to commuting and a lot of hidden factors. If someone is poor, it is very likely for this person to not build strong networks and it is not a lame excuse - it is just obvious. Rich families are more likely to have strong connections, and this is what defines richness, the ability to concentrate financial and political power. When you are the first generation to attend a university degree in your family circle, the statistics say that there is a big chance for you to take care of a lot of people. It happens because we help those with less advantage, and again, it costs time, money and a huge mental burden – Instead of going somewhere to have fun you will probably be thinking about that problematic relative, in this case, networking function backwards, and of course, helping those we love is not the problem, the problem is putting too much value in this networking concept.

It sounds just logic, you are a good person, a good worker, and then someone can say something nice about you for your next job. Unfortunately, human relationships are not that simple; especially when the topic is work and career. There are thousands of aspects to add in this networking sum, from the good ones as a good working relationship to shady ones like harassment, self-interest, prejudice – we never know what people really think about us and we never know what people passed in their life.

We are more likely to create bonds with those who share the same culture or background, and it is normal, we feel better understood by someone who passed through similar struggles, sharing common memories, inside jokes and sometimes a particular way to interpret the world – In other words networking can be very biased by our own experiences.

Impersonal and rigorous selective process for public functions and universities have been criticized a lot, the critics use to say that these processes are blind to the human side of the competitors. There are a lot of problems in turning people into a registration number, but using the affirmative policies it has changed a lot in countries like Brazil. Although having some problems, these processes do not take into account that you are friend with someone, or your culture or gender – If you decide to use the affirmative policies it is a right, not a favour.

I have been lucky with this networking thing, but I will always choose to rely on myself than on anyone else or subjective human relations. At the end of the day, life for some people is like the Nina’s Simone song, Ain’t Got No, I Got Life – As hard as it is, it still may be better to count on ourselves than on a system designed to beat poor and unconnected people.

The only thing we really have is our body, our minds, our talents, our hands...