The Cost of a Dream

In September of 2017, I quit my job. It wasn't a high-powered job office that I needed a bunch of schooling and a minimum master's degree to acquire. I was a nanny. I still am, just extremely part-time. I have been a nanny for going on six years. I enjoy my job and I am very good at it. I used to work in Santa Monica for an affluent family. The kid I helped raise went to school with kids whose parents were celebrities, writers, directors, high-powered attorneys, and fashion designers. I spoke with and saw those parents on a daily basis. I was making great money and was even interviewing with families that were much richer than the one I currently worked for. At twenty six I was offered jobs that I would make $70,000 per year plus benefits, and if I were to work that job for a minimum of a year I would easily be wanted by families who would be happy to pay me that lucrative $100K that celebrity nannies make. I was on a quick path to living a nice life while being able to travel the world on someone else's dime.

It wasn't long until I realized that I didn't want that to be my future. Not that I do not want to be in a much higher tax bracket and travel the world, I just didn't want it to come with my life revolving around the world of another.

I have dreams of becoming a writer—children's books, fiction, fantasy, poetry, any type of writing that allows me to explore my more creative side. So, in a leap of faith, I put in my two weeks to the lovely family I was working for, and with little to no experience in writing, I set out to write as many books as I could. I took a huge pay cut; I make less than half of what I was making before, and I now live with my grandmother. And I must say, I am eternally grateful that I have a loving person in my life who is allowing me to go after a dream that I have wanted for a while now.

I struggle with my budget now. There are many times where I find my bank account charged with overdraft fees. They don't even say zero, they say -$35.00, and seeing that just makes me want to chuck my computer out of a window. I have eaten more pasta than I did when I was away at college for all of six months. I stress almost every week about how my bills will be paid.

Despite all of the hardships, I am so happy I have taken that leap. I now have time to write and have been moving through chapter after chapter of my writing. And I know that my sacrifice will pay off. I am not afraid of failing because in my heart of hearts, whether I ever become a published author or not, I will not have failed. The only failure could've been in me never going after this dream and always, for the rest of my life, wondering what if? That question has left so many people feeling unfulfilled in their life decisions. I never want to wonder that horrible question. Ever. I want to continue to go after my dreams, go after what makes me happy and fulfilled, and one day I will see my books on a best seller's list or on display in a Barnes and Noble and I will be proud to shout from the rooftops that I finally did it.