The Art Of Embracing Psychology At Workplace – Melissa Doman, M.A. [Interview]

About Melissa Doman

Melissa Doman, M.A. is an organizational psychologist, and former mental health therapist who focuses on mental health awareness for global, national, and local companies. She has been featured as a speaker and subject matter expert at national conferences, summits, in digital publications, international mentoring programmes, and as a panelist at Google U.K. discussing practical and inclusive conversations around mental health. Melissa also specializes in helping senior leaders, including the C-suite, develop emotional intelligence, self-management skills, and accountability prioritising mental wellbeing.

Aishwarya Jain

We have the pleasure of welcoming Melissa Doman today to our interview series. I’m Aishwarya Jain from the peopleHum team. Before we begin, just a quick intro of PeopleHum. peopleHum is an end-to-end, one-view, integrated human capital management automation platform, the winner of the 2019 global Codie Award for HCM that is specifically built for crafted employee experiences and the future of work. We run the peopleHum blog and video channel which receives upwards of 200,000 visitors a year and publish around 2 interviews with well-known names globally, every month

Aishwarya

Welcome, Melissa, we’re thrilled to have you!

Melissa

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Aishwarya

Absolutely. Love having you on the series.

So Melissa, if you could tell us a little bit about your primary focus, as an organizational psychologist, It’s in a new age term, or a less-known word as such, and it would be amazing if you could, just elaborate on what exactly is it that you do?

Melissa

Sure, no problem. So basically, I will start with kind of how I got to where I am now. So I used to be a clinical mental health therapist for a number of years. So I got my master’s degree and I was trained in how to diagnose and do counseling and treatment around mental health and mental illness issues.

And so I did that for a number of years, and it was very important work, and I’m so happy that I did that, it taught me invaluable information about people and about the human condition, but I wanted to make a larger impact than just one by one by one by one.

So I transitioned more into organizational psychology or, as other people might know it as workplace psychology because employee well being is something that was very personally and professionally important to me. I found that a lot of companies weren’t prioritizing that. And it was very sad to me, because employees are the people that keep a business going forward, that keep a business successful.

“Employees are the people that keep a business going forward, that keep a business successful.”

And so I think that looking out for the mental health and well being of employees should be very much a top priority. So then, after clinical, I went into kind of your traditional workplace psychology roles, doing advisor roles in house directorships and that sort of thing. But I always found that the wellbeing piece was really missing for me.

So in recent years, I’m almost sitting on the fence between the two worlds, as it were. So I’m taking my old clinical education and experience, and I’m translating that into the workplace.

“So I’m taking my old clinical education and experience, and I’m translating that into the workplace.”

And I love it. I really love it because I’m able to normalize and de-stigmatize conversations around mental health, mental illness and stress in the workplace, because you just have to, because people bring all of themselves to work and to not be able to discuss such an important topic in the workplace, I just don’t envision a future about where we can’t do that.

So what I’m doing now is keynotes, panels, workshops, consulting, writing kind of multiple trick pony, as it were. And I’m just doing what I can, where I can for who I can.

And I feel very humbled and privileged that I’ve been able to work with really small companies all the way up to multinational organizations with thousands and thousands of employees. And the thing is, everyone has mental health, and everyone should have the opportunity to feel safe to talk about it.

So a lot of what I’m doing is not only building awareness but teaching people the language, the new language of how to speak about it. Because awareness is not enough. You need to know of the ‘how to’ and you need to be able to take action.

“Because awareness is not enough. You need to know of the ‘how to’ and you need to be able to take action.”

So that’s what I’ve been up to in recent years.

Aishwarya

That is amazing. I think you really are helping a lot of people out there who are struggling with mental instability and whatever they go through at a workplace environment.

And, especially with people who kind of are like closed books. How do you deal with such people who are not used to emoting? Who is not used to kind of talking about their emotions at all

Melissa

Nobody is exactly the same. And when it comes to discussing mental health at work, you need to take people’s comfort levels into account. So, just because people should feel safe to talk about it doesn’t mean they should be forced to. So really, what it comes down to is making the workplace environment safe to discuss it and giving people the option without the obligation to discuss it.

“Just because people should feel safe to talk about it doesn’t mean they should be forced to. So really, what it comes down to is making the workplace environment safe to discuss it and giving people the option without the obligation to discuss it.”

And very much letting them come to you sort of model. But people won’t come to you if they don’t feel it’s safe to. So for those people who might kind of keep it closer to the chest, that’s totally fine. It’s letting them know that they can speak up if they need to.

And for some of those people, it might take a bit more of gentle, kind of shoulder tapping and speaking to them in more of a private setting, so you can make sure to have the discussion where they feel safe, particularly if it’s a challenging topic for them to discuss.

Aishwarya

Yeah, that makes sense. I think it’s just important to kind of create a very comfortable environment so that you can talk your heart out or talk one on one in the hand and process emotion instead of going through you.

Because sometimes I think you know, we have such a busy life right now, not right now, but we generally do. You have a busy lifestyle. We just forget to process our emotions.

And what is it that you’re really going through and exactly right? And I think right now is a very good time when everything is being looked at in perspective, suddenly time has just gone still and only we can stop processing emotions, right! And, that’s exactly what I want to ask you.

With this situation, how do you advise the leaders around the world to manage their teams while working from home?

Melissa

So there’s a couple of ways that I approach this, and this is actually one of the biggest questions I’ve been receiving from a lot of companies. So, for example, I did a kind of digital fireside interview with a couple of financial organizations and something like 200 people tuned in from around the world, and it was incredible.

And one of the biggest questions was, how do we manage our teams and how do we make sure they’re okay? So there are a few things to think about here.

You have to realize that people’s psychological safety is going to feel threatened right now, and that’s normal. So people are worried about their actual livelihood. i.e. will I get sick from the virus?

People are worried about their financial livelihood, i.e will I lose my job? And so, as a leader or an owner of a company, you have to accept and normalize that, that’s the way that a lot of people will be feeling right now. And it might impact how they communicate, how they interact.

And so it’s really important to provide comfort where you can because obviously with all this going on, there are no guarantees in anything but also encouraging your teams to self manage where they can. For example, As a leader, you have to be a role model, you say.

I’m getting really stressed to hear the ways that I’m dealing with it. I really recommend that you do too because people are more likely to do things they see others doing that are producing positive results.

And also encouraging structure and boundaries. I mean, it’s so easy to just sit at the computer for 12 hours a day and barely get up and not take a proper lunch break, and you just can’t go on like that.

We’re not meant to be stuck to screen constantly, although right now we are. But you have to have some form of separation or adapted normalcy because otherwise, everything will just kind of blur into the strange sameness. You have to have boundaries between work and home when you’re in that same environment.

“But you have to have some form of separation or adapted normalcy because otherwise, everything will just kind of blur into the strange sameness. You have to have boundaries between work and home when you’re in that same environment.”

And the last thing I would say is just to reach out on a human level for example, we all have more time now to get to know each other in a different way that we might not have had the time to before.

So if you’re a leader or line manager and you don’t know much about the people, the personalities of the people on your teams take the opportunity and get to know them because you’ll feel more connected that way.

So this is a really tough situation, and people are doing what they can. But here, the small things that you can do to try and take the edge off and make it effective and useful.

Aishwarya

Yeah, those are great tips. And thank you so much for that. And I think I absolutely agree with you. Suddenly we’ve kind of come back to level one of Maslow’s hierarchy where we are struggling for psychological safety for a lively hood. It is very ironic right?

Melissa

Yeah, and if you think about it, I’m kind of a neuroscience geek, so you’ll have to forgive me. But if you think about the physiology of what’s happening, so we as humans have this big, giant frontal lobe, which is what makes us human, we have self-awareness.

Our frontal lobe governs our personality, our sense of logic, our rationale, and all those sorts of things. And the thing is that our chimp brain, so what makes us uniquely animals because we are animals is effectively jacked up and freaking out because right now we are under this constant sense of threat.

So our nervous system, our amygdala controls our sense of fight or flight, is constantly thinking that tiger is going to eat me. But our frontal lobe is playing a bit of checks and balances saying ‘No’. But our stress levels are through the roof are cortisol, which is a stress hormone.

Through the roof is adrenaline, which is the pure purpose of that is to keep us alive is through the roof. So we have this festival of chemicals that’s going on in our brains and our bodies that we don’t realize is happening unless we really slow down and think about it.

“So we have this festival of chemicals that’s going on in our brains and our bodies that we don’t realize is happening unless we really slow down and think about it.”

So this is not only an emotional and psychological impact. Our entire bodies are reacting to what’s going on.

Aishwarya

Absolutely. And the physiology of the brain really helps you rationalize what’s going on in your brain and why is this happening to you, right?

Melissa

Yeah, it’s a very unprecedented time because a lot of the feelings that we’re having are the emotions that we’re having, we are meant to feel these only sometimes because we have the ability to feel this way for a reason.

Our brain gives us the ability to feel this way for the purpose of survival. But the trouble is that we’re not meant to feel this way constantly, and because we feel this way constantly, it’s producing side effects that are emotional and physical because we’re just not used to this.

Aishwarya

Absolutely, we are not used to this.

There are so many employees around the world who are going through, managing a family, doing all the household chores, working from home. You know, how do you think they should cope with this so that they maintain their sanity?

Melissa

So there’s a couple of things, doing this lockdown and managing so many different things, particularly if you don’t live alone or if you’re married, you have children, you have pets. You have to just find the minutes where you can because it’s really about being realistic and drawing boundaries when possible.

So if you have a few young children running around, are you necessarily going to get three or four hours of time by yourself each night? Probably not, so be more realistic and try to find the moments where you can.

So, for example, finding maybe five minutes of quiet in the morning, or trying to do some deep breathing in the shower, or taking five minutes to do a guided imagery exercise before you go to bed. If you don’t have a large amount of time, you have to find the minutes where you can.

“If you don’t have a large amount of time, you have to find the minutes where you can.”

The other thing is that while this might feel like there’s no end in sight, there will be. This will not be forever. We don’t know how long this is gonna go on, but we will not be locked up at home forever.

So when things get really hard and you just feel like you want to tear your hair out, you have to remember that there is an end in sight and you must take it one day at a time where it’s too overwhelming.

And the last thing is really just focusing on what you can control and influence and what you can’t control and influence. Because if we focus on things we can’t control and influence, we won’t maintain our sanity.

“And the last thing is really just focusing on what you can control and influence and what you can’t control and influence. Because if we focus on things we can’t control and influence, we won’t maintain our sanity.”

Aishwarya

Absolutely, that is wonderful. You know, I actually absolutely agree with you that will have to control our minds and not drift away to what’s negative. This is a time where mental toughness will really be tested.

Melissa

So, if we think about resilience, so resilience is literally defined, as are healthful ability to bounce back. That’s the ultimate test of resilience. It’s how do we maintain our mental well being so we can bounce back? And the thing is, it won’t always be a perfect system.

There will be days that you will just feel bad and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel bad, and there will still be some days that you feel okay. But it’s about keeping it in balance because if you’re always trying to avoid the negative feelings, they will happen anyway. But they’ll just come out sideways.

So it’s about allowing yourself to feel what you’re going to feel, but then making sure to kind, of course, correct when you’ve moved through it, so it has to exist in balance.

Aishwarya

Absolutely it has to exist in balance.

And, once you come out of the pandemic, do you think that the world is going to change mentally and if yes, how?

Melissa

So, I think that the mental health impact of COVID 19 will be significant. So I project that there could be a large rise potentially in anxiety disorders. There could be a large rise in, people not feeling particularly safe to be near each other. It’s interesting, there are so many different trends that could come out of this that are negative and positive.

So, for example, I do think there will be some more anxiety around health and cleanliness or being physically close to other people. But equally, I think there’s going to be a positive mental health impact in some way about the authentic connections that we’ve been able to make with people around the globe.

And that sense of social closeness that some people have been able to develop with each other, despite the fact that it’s been digital. So I think that you will see, positive mental health impact and also a negative one.

Aishwarya

Right, Right!. That makes sense.

And with respect to millennials, right now, we see that millennials are there really growing and rising in workplaces.

Do you think that somewhere down the line the mental capacity is much more different than older generations and hardly kind of maintained balance through these different kinds of mindsets that you see?

That’s NOT all, folks! To continue reading this awe-inspiring blog, click here https://s.peoplehum.com/gh35r