Suddenly realizing that I am still small and not pretending...

I accidentally stumbled upon a video on Facebook with the content:

"When someone likes you or confesses their feelings, do you feel happy? When I was in middle school and high school, I thought that the feeling of someone liking me, regardless of whether I liked them back or not, would surely bring me joy. It's like becoming the main character in a love story, where besides the leading man, there are countless supporting characters who are infatuated, pursue, and do anything for me. They even compete with each other to win my heart. That's how love is in movies. But as I grew up, I came to understand that when someone gives their affection to me, and does everything for me without expecting anything in return, that feeling becomes awkward and burdensome, almost like carrying a debt of emotions. If someone is already in my heart, I have no greed to seek the affection of another person. When someone likes me but I don't feel the same way, the more they try for me, the more touched I am, but it's just a sense of being moved, not love. Perhaps it takes going through the teenage years to truly understand that youth is a time when we selfishly live as much as we can. Sometimes I think the reason why love needs to go through such a big circle and pay such a high price is because it comes at the wrong time. When we finally have love, we lack wisdom, and by the time we have enough wisdom, we no longer have the energy to love with pure devotion. Even just having a crush feels so difficult now, so how can I love?"

And I came to the realization that my smallness has been reinforced. Knowing that someone likes me, regardless of whether I like them back or not, will make me feel happy, content, and proud. But at some point or in certain moments, having someone like me but not wanting to reciprocate their feelings will not only be about appreciating their affection, but it will also feel like a debt of love. Indeed, as we grow older, people tend to seek deeper connections with each other, and as a result, everything from within ourselves or in society makes us think more, and slow down to contemplate, rather than make quick decisions because everything has complex structures.

Loving oneself and growing up go hand in hand, forming a beautiful journey of self-discovery and personal development. As we navigate through life, we gradually realize the significance of embracing our true selves, flaws and all. Learning to love ourselves involves accepting our past experiences and acknowledging that they have shaped us into who we are today. It entails celebrating our strengths, nurturing our passions, and being kind to ourselves during moments of vulnerability. As we grow up, we gain wisdom and understanding, recognizing that self-love is not a destination but an ongoing process of self-care, self-compassion, and self-growth. It is through this journey that we cultivate a deeper sense of authenticity, leading to fulfilling relationships with others and a genuine appreciation for the beauty of life itself.

Love, in the realm of adults, takes on a profound and multifaceted meaning. It evolves from the passionate intensity of youthful infatuation into a deep and nurturing bond that withstands the test of time. Adult love encompasses a rich tapestry of emotions, where tenderness, trust, and companionship intertwine. It is an understanding that love is not solely defined by grand gestures or fleeting moments, but by the unwavering commitment to support and uplift one another through life's joys and challenges. In this stage, love embraces acceptance of flaws and imperfections, recognizing that true intimacy lies in the vulnerability shared between two souls. Adult love fosters growth, encouraging personal development while embracing the growth of a shared connection. It is a journey where love is no longer just a feeling, but a conscious choice to invest in the well-being and happiness of a beloved partner. Through the lens of adulthood, love is an exquisite dance of shared dreams, mutual respect, and a profound sense of belonging.