Stop Calling Asian Women Exotic

As an Asian woman, I've lost count of how many times I've been called "exotic" by clueless people who think they're giving me a compliment.

"Exotic" means something that is foreign, unusual, or strikingly different from what is considered normal or standard. While that might sound like a nice way to describe a plant or a tropical vacation spot, it's not exactly a flattering term to apply to a human being.

Seriously, are we talking about me or a rare species of bird that's only found in the deepest jungles of the Philippines or Thailand? I'm not an exotic animal that you can add to your collection or put on display for your friends to marvel at.

When you call me "exotic," you're not acknowledging my unique cultural background or personal experiences. Instead, you're objectifying me, reducing me to a set of physical features that you find fascinating because they don't fit your narrow definition of what is "normal" or "typical."

And here’s another thing: when people call Asian women "exotic," what they're really talking about is our supposed "Oriental" features. The ones that include things like almond-shaped eyes, straight black hair, and a delicate frame. These are features that have been fetishized and exoticized by western culture for centuries, turning Asian women into nothing more than a sexualized stereotype.

It's not just insulting; it's also incredibly lazy. If you want to compliment me, take the time to actually get to know me as a person. Ask me about my interests, my background, and my experiences. I guarantee you, there's more to me than just my appearance.

And while we're at it, let's talk about the concept of exoticization. Who decided that anything that doesn't fit into western norms is automatically exotic? Why is it that a white person who wears a sari or practices yoga is seen as "culturally enlightened," while a person of color who does the same thing as part of their ACTUAL culture is labeled as "exotic?”

It is not even accurate!

It's not like all Asians look the same. In fact, there are over 48 countries in Asia with diverse cultures and physical features. Asia is the largest continent in the world, which means there's a whole lot of variety.

When you call me or any other Asian woman "exotic," you're not just objectifying me; you're also showing your ignorance. You're basically saying, "I don't really know anything about your culture or your background, but I'm going to make assumptions based on your appearance."

News flash: I don't want to be your exotic fantasy. I don't want to be put on a pedestal or treated like a rare gem. I just want to be seen as a human being, with all the complexities and contradictions that come with that.

So please, for the love of all that is good and decent, stop calling Asian women "exotic." It's not a compliment, it's not accurate, and it's just plain offensive.

Instead, try getting to know me as a person. Ask me about my favorite food, my hobbies, my dreams, and my aspirations in life. Treat me like a fellow human being, not some kind of foreign curiosity.

And if you really want to compliment me, how about something like, "You're a really interesting person," or "I love your sense of humor." Because at the end of the day, that's what really matters – making connections with other people through their true selves, not some outdated and offensive label.

Sincerely,

An Asian woman who is so much more than just "exotic"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Previously posted on Medium