Second Draft Drama - The Violet Project Diaries - Entry 14

Okay, my goal for today is to just do my best when it comes to creating an immersive setting.

Total word count written/edited today: 1413 words.

Not bad for an over thinker.

So…

For my “fantasy” side of my dark fantasy novel series, I created a World Immersion checklist for myself to make sure I have continuity from chapter to chapter. Here’s how it goes:

• Setting descriptions
• Lore Continuity
• Magic System Rule Review
• Character Placement
• Character Dialogue/Dialect Accuracy
• Story Flow

Not bad right? I think that’ll be solid enough. I also created a review questionnaire for myself to reflect on how I’m doing as a writer. Here are my answers for the prologue:

1. What was the hardest part/task?

Getting used to the checklist for sure, but I know it’ll help with efficiency.

2. What was the easiest?

I had a pretty good flow when I was just writing what I saw in my head, which was more character driven. I also learned that slowing down what goes on in my head helps with writing the setting and character placement. That used to be such a challenge.

3. What do I think is my greatest strength?

I think my greatest strength is fluidity. I obsess over it. I have to flip-flop between thinking about the big picture and be as detail-oriented as possible.

4. What do I think is my greatest weakness?

I think I really need to work on taking my time. I’m so enthusiastic about making sure my audience gets to jump right into the story that I don’t realize some other details the audience needs. I know I said flow is my greatest strength and I think that’s because I know what can catch the eye of my audience, but I need to remember that some audiences need more support and want to take in the world rather than be bombarded with a ton of action.

5. How much of this writing session was an improvement from the first draft?

This prologue definitely has less infodump moments and is much more compelling than the cliche beginnings I had in mind.

6. How did you feel during your writing session today? Any challenges or triumphs?

I am determined to trust my writing style. Now that I’m writing the second draft, I feel like I’m in a really tense relationship with my brain. I’m questioning everything, but at the same time I just want it to flow, but I don’t want to “vomit” anything like I did in the first draft. At the end of the day, I just want it to be good. I want my work to be progress. I’m also afraid of writing new scenes or adding onto old scenes or removing old scenes. It seems like I’m practically writing a whole new story. That’s scary. I don’t want to lose track of the timeline I’ve already created, but I keep seeing where things need work. Maybe that should be my new mantra: Things need work and anything requiring work means change will happen. Change gives me anxiety, but these changes are most likely for the better, that’s the intention anyway.

So, I’m in a place where I need to just trust myself. Just trust myself. WHY. IS. THAT. SO. HARD?!

I treat trust like a fairy tale or some kind of foolish game that has detrimental consequences, but I play for the temporary thrill. Isn’t that what it really is anyway? Am I just paranoid? Am I a paranoid writer? Tell me the truth. I trust you… Haha jk.

Okay, in all honesty, I’m a mess today. I’ve been a bit of a mess for a little over a week, psyching myself with hypothetical situations from silly to scary. I can see myself as an author, a famous one who took the leap and made it. When I envision that, I smile and breathe calmly like I just meditated in my own personal paradise. That must be what purpose feels like.

The second draft drama is really an example of how badly I want this, but simultaneous how afraid I am to lose it, but that’s up to me isn’t it? I’m the one who’s self-sabotaging, writing a few paragraphs and then running away. I’m the one who has the hunger and is also starving themselves. It really is up to me. I just got to sit my ass down and write and then TRUST that what I write is going to take me to that paradise (or wherever the hell I’m going to be one day). I don’t need this journey to be easy, but I get nervous by the fact that aside from all my experience studying writing and just being a writer that I must lean on my own guidance at this point then share my creation with the world. It’s the scariest part about being a writer or any kind of artist. I also know the results may be exactly what I’m expecting or far from what I was expecting. I need to take this from the angle of “The Fool”:

“When new experiences appear, we have the tendency to flood ourselves with expectations of the best, the worst, the fantastic, the horrific, but overall we’re hoping it all leads to a pragmatic ending: let me fall and land on my feet. Right now, you’re flooded with emotions and thoughts trying to keep your head above the high tide of your own soul. Ironically, you fear drowning before you’ve taken your step. Who knows what’s beyond that cliff. An ocean? A puddle? Land? You’ll never know as long as your foot hovers. To move to the new, you must trust.

“If you’re asking yourself who or what you’re supposed to trust, you’re too easily paralyzed by the unknown. Trust is not always given. Usually it’s earned. Opportunities are similar to that notion, like the opportunity before you now. Do you take the step confidently or do you retract yourself back to the land you’ve known and probably have outgrown? If you take the more familiar path do you consider yourself smarter or do you not trust yourself? Living life without trusting yourself is like breathing poisoned air because you believe the poison you’ve breathed all these years is what you’re damned to do. You don’t deserve fresh, crisp wind in your lungs to fill you up and bring you relief. Answer, Fool: Is this opportunity yours or are you going to wait for someone else to give it to you?”

- Prose of The Fool - Kris Leliel

Omfg my past self just called me out. Okay, I'll keep going.