Ramblings of course.

I have things to do things to write but there is chocolate eclairs staring at me that I am going to murder without ap care in the world.

I often wonder what it might be like if I just wrote unhinged without a filter (wait you don't do that already?) whether in poetry or story or nonfiction or satire.

I try not to hold back but often feel I do maybe hold back. Sanction order and delicately drape security rails around the most heated words.

Breathe with me for me. Breasts heave. Heave ho breasts they go.

My eyes are sore because I cried quietly about something someone wrote and I wish sometimes I had thicker skin but then where would I be? Maybe my writing would be more technically proficient. But would it have heart.

That feels clichéd to reason on that.

Fricassee is such a fun word by the way. And hey hey I rhymed.

I had an idea for steak for yourself challenge that involved going back in time and stealing Shakespeare for a few weeks, then stealing Macbeth and claiming it as my own work then centuries later as a moderately succesful writer on some writing platform stealing from myself, that is my Shakespeare self. 

Then I could win surely.

Or maybe I'll just steal from my own self and play by the rules. Boring.

We have an extra dog staying with us as my step daughter got married last week and she's away on her honeymoon. The extra dog is warming my right foot. I just need an extra dog or one of our own dogs to warm the left. 

Sports talk part sports talk part.

Do you remember when I got a Top Story for written a poem about bee cum? It fucking happened and I can prove it.

I would say humbly I don't know why I thought of that but my level of agency is a lot higher today. I definitely wanted to mention and remind that I got a Top Story for a poem that includes references to bee cum.

I did the finger test 

On my tea, sewer rats.

It's cold so I'll have to microwave it. It'll never taste as good as it once did but sometimes life is like that.

It's been decidedly overcast here. So thats pretty uninspiring. 

I wandered lone as a cloud as a stupid fucking wait a mum is just doing the school run and she's shouting the most insane and nonsensical crap to her kids beneath our window.

Someone shoot her? 

I asked that as a question because I'm not making requests.

If you have nothing better to say, write it.

Write the wrongs and wear the thong.

Sometimes I...

Nah.

As far as writing exercises go. I'd say this is a success.

It's writing, Jim, but not as we know it.

Some tips as we move forwards.

1)always read prompts

2)don't be a sad fucking sack and blame others success when you don't win. Don't claim cheating when it's not their fault they got chosen.

3)write from the heart, the mind and like your hungry or something.

4)don't overthink it 

5)scrap the first ten drafts.

6)use your original draft

7)shake hands with beef.

8)it hurts my eyes that I haven't formatted this numbered list properly. But I can live with it..can you?

9)tell me something disgusting in the comments section.

10)tell me something numerical in the comments section.

11)what does?

12)only use punctuation when you feel comfortable using it, don't feel badgered into it or peer pressured into it.

13)punctuation is a natural thing. We all do it..some better than others.

14)smile

15)or don't.

16)I am not a life coach.

17) don't be a fanny (British colloquialism) unless you enjoy being a fanny.

18)don't smell like a fanny. 

19)unless you... Get the picture.

20)give yourself a handshake and a coin of small monetsry value if you read this far.

Profundity is only overrated if you don't know how to spell it.

I will never be anything.

Other than me. 

Unless I go back in time and steal from Shakespeare.

Can you imagine stealing from Shakespeare and then laughing about it? 

I've been feeling all kinds of things. I want to say a happy wholesome and warm hello to all my friends. You all know who you are. Which is a nude way to avoid listing all of you.

Nice not nude.

Correcting as we write. 

That is the modern way.

Maybe I will do that one day. Write a story where the corrections appear as you read through it.

Meta as fuck.

But not Facebook steal your data meta.

They are just fucks.

Fin.

Please note that all punctuation was harmed in the writing process.

With extreme persecution.

For anyone that cares. The artwork was originally intended to be a space scene like starry night with swirls and shit. Then a horse appeared (I've been trying to perfect horses so I was elated) then I fucked too much with the horse and then it became shapes again then I flipped it upside down and the black hole became more like a ball and the horse became more like a muscular naked foot kicking the black hole ball.

You're welcome.

In all seriousness, you should read the following pieces.