Put through the wringer

Yesterday evening, my younger son arrived home from his ten-hour shift as a car wash attendant, climbed the stairs to his room, and returned with an armload of clothes. I groaned, "Don't just dump those on the floor of the bathroom (and laundry room)."

"I'm going to do a load," he replied, as he dumped the clothes on the bathroom floor. I rolled my eyes at his back.

He bent down, picked up the clothes one item at a time, and shoved them into the front-loading washer. I heard the "click" of the door, the spin of the knob to select the wash cycle, the slide of the detergent tray, and the beep indicating the machine was on. Toss, spin, slide, click, beep, and off it goes. It's a far cry from the days of rubber rollers or mangles turned by hand cranks!

The manner of washing clothes- and, more directly, squeezing out the excess water- gave rise to that common expression of "being put through the wringer." The mental, physical, and/or emotional exhaustion we frequently experience is akin to the squeeze of clothes going through those rubber rollers (a.k.a. mangles — what a great name!).

I have written frequently about difficulties related to my workplace, and I stand by my criticisms of the less-than-stellar environment and morale created by those in charge. Conclusions have been reached by great leaps without any apparent willingness to consider that superiors might be less than truthful or accurate in their descriptions of inferiors. That is, supervisors' words and actions are unquestioned, and those of the supervised are always suspect.

Many years ago, my wife and I were members of a church where the elders, whose role was the spiritual leadership and shepherding of the church, adopted the unfortunate stance of "we're the elders; just trust us (to know what we're doing and that we're doing the right thing)." That stance -- intentionally or unintentionally -- became a stumbling block to many in the congregation. The elders faced many difficult situations, and in their desire to keep private matters confidential, they became too opaque. As a group, they lacked leadership, and their "just trust us" demeanor fouled up many relationships.

It led my wife and me to consider finding a new church home. We began visiting other congregations in the area. Our pastor, with whom we got along well, resigned, and the meeting surrounding it was extremely contentious. The "just trust us" mentality pushed us further away, especially when they announced who they planned to have visit as the likely new pastor.

Then a trusted friend suggested we give the new guy a chance to answer our questions. "You know the way our church is governed. If you have issues with how the church is led, bring them to the elders. If they don't resolve them, take the issues to the next level. Do it the right way. If you still don't receive satisfaction, then you can leave. But at least give this new man the chance to answer your concerns. You might be surprised."

We agreed to meet with him. We sent him our questions ahead of time. When we sat down with him, he answered thoughtfully. One of the first things he said was, "I will never say 'just trust me.'"

That was the beginning of a positive change in our church. When it came time to vote for him to come as our pastor, we were more than happy to vote yes. He spent the first few years helping the elders change how they saw themselves and their roles, teaching them to serve the people. The morale of the congregation is healthier. We are far from perfect. I am far from perfect. But the "just trust us" mentality was hauled away in the dumpster many years ago, and that has made a huge difference.

There was a time when my employer didn't have a "just trust us" mentality. We used to work as a team, from top to bottom. But over the last eight years, morale has dropped as the leadership has failed. The overly zealous scrutiny of good employees, while overlooking the horrendous behavior of bad employees, has engendered resentment.

When an employee is truthful but gets treated as a liar and suspended without pay, something is horribly wrong with the system. When supervisors mislead upper-level management, intentionally or through incompetence, and employees pay the price, something is horribly wrong with the system. When supervisors' mistakes cost employees time off or pay, and the employer refuses to compensate for the loss, something is wrong with the system.

Injustice, regardless of its source, will be made right. There is One who judges justly. Systemic injustice in the public square, in the Church, or anywhere else, will be called to account. What will be our defense on that Day? What will be your defense?