Our Meetings Run by Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)

Quiet People often have profound thoughts and ideas.

I read an article a little while back by Tim Denning in which he praises the quieter people in meetings. I must agree that many of the quieter people in meetings are the people who are calm. They are generally deep thinkers and excellent observers.

I have experienced very intelligent business people, who don’t say much. They prefer the other party to speak and they just gather information from what is being said. I remember coming out of a meeting with my boss, who said to me. “Did you notice that guy, just asks questions and listens, he gives away nothing, he doesn’t say anything?”

The guy he was talking about was a multimillionaire business man who wouldn’t say much in any meeting. He was an information gleaner.

The power of silence.

Then there is the case of my brother in laws boss, also very wealthy entrepreneur who runs a construction company that builds office blocks.

He too, is silent in negotiation, my brother in law would always want to talk to break the tension, but his boss would tell him not to. His boss would just stare with piercing blue eyes. His boss could look right through someone, stare into their soul and not flinch, must have been his special forces military training.

He would stare and watch the other party squirm and continue to drop his price, the other party would be negotiating with himself as the piercing stare would make him feel uncomfortable. When the stare had worked for him, he would accept the price and end the meeting. My brother in law hated the uncomfortable silence that his boss revelled in. Silence to him was literally golden, it’s how he made sure he made the best profit he could.

It is human nature to want to break the ice. To want to make others feel comfortable, but silent negotiators know that you don’t get the best deal when the other party is comfortable, they want to take them outside of their comfort zone. When you are meeting at their offices the way you can level the playing field is by making them feel uncomfortable in their own office.

Lee Evans a British comedian does a joke about a squirrel that just freezes and stares at him, and remarks that he is going to try that on people the next time he feels threatened, there is something about a piercing, cold, silent stare that unsettles us all.

Freddy Krueger attends meetings.

Silence was no friend to one of the corporate bosses I worked for. He hated the power of silence. He would kick people out of meetings that he attended, if they did not say something for 5 minutes. Say nothing for five minutes and he would humiliate you by telling you, not asking you, but telling you to ‘leave the meeting and go do some work.’

He was a German guy and his name was ‘Freddy.’ In our office he was known as ‘Freddy Krueger’ because he was a horror movie in every meeting. He felt that the quiet people had nothing to offer. I thought he was completely wrong. Some of the best ideas come from the quiet ones. Some are shy, others are calculated and take some time to warm up to the group, but I have definitely had some profound statements and ideas throughout my corporate life from the quieter people in meetings.

Incorporate not alienate.

To my mind the job of a leader is to make everyone feel comfortable, and draw the people in that are quieter, and shut the loud mouths up, because the extroverts will always ensure that their ideas are heard anyway.

I can’t help but think that Freddy, had come across a cold piercing stare in negotiations in his life and developed a hatred for quiet, observant and introverted types.