Omar's Diary for 12th March 2023
The run up to the Cheltenham Festival
Late yesterday afternoon, Saturday, we had a very unexpected visitor here at Omar Towers. It was none other than my personal turf accountant, Ticker.
Man Servant and I made him very welcome and ushered him through to the snug drawing room so as not to disturb Lady Servant and Beau who were watching a repeat of “Call The Mid Wife”. Ticker said that he had popped in to remind us that the Cheltenham Festival starts this coming Tuesday, 14th March, and that if we wanted to place any wagers he could collect them during the morning of the races should we find anything suitable.
Cheltenham hosts a series of different festivals of a more, how shall I say, cultural nature but it is the four days of racing in March that really put the town on the world map. That is if you are a fan of the turf and in particular a fan of National Hunt racing.
Over the four days, 14th to 17th March this year there will be:
• 28 races run – at the rate of 7 per day
• Up to 500 horses running for glory
• £6.12 million in prize money
• 274,000 spectators expected over the four days restricted to 68,500 per day
So, without a doubt it is a BIG festival.
My plan for the forthcoming week is to publish a daily diary outlining the day’s racing ahead. Included in the diary, with a caveat bigger than Cleave Hill that overlooks the racecourse, a few selections. I will of course be backing these selections with Ticker on the morning of the races.
Here at Omar Towers the library has a section devoted to horse racing with shelves of recent Timeform books and drawers stuffed with back copies of horse racing’s parish magazine, the Racing Post. Man Servant and I, with full due diligence of course, will be carrying out extensive research to find that Holy Grail of racegoers and punters (such a common word); the 100/1 certainty.
If by the frost encrusted dawn of the third day, Thursday, this scientific method has placed us in an accumulated loss situation then we will have no choice. We will have to resort to the tried and frequently failed “litter tray method”. This system has not been patented as believe me there is absolutely no intellectual property attached to the concept. Suffice to say all that is needed is an open litter tray containing litter, a copy of the day’s Racing Post open at the racecard pages and a willing feline who wants to make use of the en suite facility. This is where Beau will become part of the process. Things could get messy, but I will leave it there and let you create your own mental image of how the system works.
“Cripes! I have to go as I have an urgent appointment in a few minutes. I must be there before six” Ticker exclaimed.
“The wife” I asked.
“No. Worse than her…I’ll explain it all to you one day” Ticker answered.
As he stood up I noticed the left leg of his trousers got caught on a grey object strapped to his ankle. It looked like one of those keep fit contraptions that members of the servant species dressed like dayglow geese wear when they are running themselves breathless doing exercises. I have known Ticker for several years now and never once have I heard him mention how he has done a spinning class, run a marathon or had a work out in a gym. Ticker and the concept of physical exertion is as likely as oil and water being blended. I was just about to mention the grey thing attached to his ankle when I got a soft silencing nudge from Man Servant’s left foot. Ticker left Omar Towers rather hurriedly.
So, onwards it is to the opening day of the 2023 Cheltenham Festival. And as the late Terry Wogan used to say at the start of his racing reports “Time to clumber up
About the Creator
Alan Russell
When you read my words they may not be perfect but I hope they:
1. Engage you
2. Entertain you
3. At least make you smile (Omar's Diaries) or
4. Think about this crazy world we live in and
5. Never accept anything at face value
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