My Struggle

My Struggle?

Horniness!

I know that horniness doesn't sound like a bad struggle and on the grand scheme of things, it's not a bad struggle to have.

Why or how do I struggle with horniness?

Well, I have a gift for writing the erotic part of novels. I'm not that good at the filler parts or the emotional parts or any part that isn't the sex scene part. It's a gift in a sense, I know a lot of writers that actually struggle with the sex scene part of their own writings and I do not have that struggle.

My struggle comes from my ability to actually write these scenes. When I sit down to do my writing... which is 85% erotica, I can't be sitting at a public library or a café. I have to be in the comfort of my own home or somewhere private to do my writing. I turn myself on with every erotic writing I have done.

Granted, that most of my stories are somehow based on true events, I use my real life sex life incorporated in almost every piece of my personal work. It's my muse, it's the way I write. It turns me on though and that can be a problem.

I do not know what the female version of "blue balls" is but I do know that I have given it to myself on many occasions and these occasions occur when I decide to write at inappropriate times in which I can't take care of myself or have my husband take care of me after writing.

Some writers research for stories take them to places all over their town, take them to crowded cafes or quiet libraries. Some writers can write on the subway or in their office on lunch... I can't. I mean, I'm sure I can but imagine reading an erotic novel at Starbucks? Awkward, to say the least.

There have been many times that I have had to stop my writing and take care of myself in order to think clearly. I have had to stop writing and ask my husband to come have sex with me because I got myself all worked up and I need to release so I can continue to write.

My research has taken me to lifestyle clubs, to strip clubs, to swinger's events and many many other locations. My writings have taken my reality and made them a fantasy and has taken some fantasies and made them a reality.

In all honestly, I'm taking a break from writing the next segment of one of my current erotic projects to write this struggle article. My struggle had gotten to me so much today that I had to write about my struggle which isn't really a struggle at all... who doesn't like being horny? Am I right? One of the best pieces of advice I have received about writing erotica is that if it turns you on, you're going in the right direction and I can safely say that every erotic story that I have written, has turned me on and gotten me off.

I think the best porn you can watch is the one you can make in your head and not to brag, but I can write a damn good porn in my head. The ability to take those pictures from my head and to put them into words on paper than can, in turn be turned back into a picture when someone else reads it is kinda magical to.

So, in conclusion, as an erotic writer, horniness is definitely my biggest struggle but on a good note, I'm a female so I don't have to hide a boner.