My Manager Didn’t Respect My Time Because I’m Childfree

“You don’t have children, so staying late shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

I stared at the phone in disbelief. When my coworker hadn’t shown up for her shift, I expected my manager to at least ask if I’d be willing to stay late or come up with a solution. Instead, the all-female office crew began packing up and heading out as if there wasn’t an issue, which is why I’d called my manager in the first place. To be fair, some of them may not have known since I worked downstairs in reception, and they worked upstairs.

My manager did know there was an issue, and she didn’t do anything to resolve it simply because she assumed my time wasn’t as valuable as the time of my coworkers. She knew I was attending college, but she didn’t care. She had also assured me that I’d always get a lunch break because the entire staff was trained to do my job, but she didn’t even bother to ask me if I was free to stay late.

I was met with an attitude when I told her I’d scheduled a test for that evening and wouldn’t be able to stay. She did allow me to leave that night but demanded that I clear my schedule until they found a replacement for my coworker. She repeatedly reminded me that I didn’t have children, so clearing my schedule shouldn’t bother me. She even told me that I should be grateful for the opportunity to earn overtime. She ended the conversation by hanging up on me when I was still speaking.

I found myself disgusted after hanging up the phone. Why was my time deemed less valuable than the time of someone who had kids? Did she expect me to put my life on hold indefinitely for the needs of the company? Not only had she become angry at me for asking to leave, but she forced me to give her a reason why I couldn’t stay. Would she have asked a woman with kids why they couldn’t stay, or was it simply because she didn’t respect my time because I was childfree?

I never expressed my anger or even brought the topic up again, but she took every opportunity presented to mistreat me after that. She often transferred my phone calls to an extension no one used in the weeks following. When I did get her on the phone, she was hostile and rude. If I had a question for her, she would state that I should have already learned about whatever I was asking her, or she’d tell me to ask someone else. If I made a mistake, she’d call me to yell at me and insult my intelligence. I didn’t understand why she was holding such a grudge against me when she hadn’t even been the one who’d had to stay late.

I ended up working open to close for the remainder of the week. I didn’t even get a lunch break on Saturday and was told that I had to eat at my desk when there weren’t any customers around. My check was large enough to cover all my bills, but I was so exhausted that I didn’t have time to do anything else. I ended up going to sleep shortly after returning home from work.

While I understand that caring for children is an important reason to have a work/life balance, I don’t think the burden should fall entirely on childfree workers. Many of us attend college classes or work more than one job. Our free time should also be counted as just as important as our peers who chose to have children. Managers with limited staff should have a backup plan for if someone calls in or doesn’t show up. Thankfully, the places I’ve worked since have been somewhat more respectful of my time.

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