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My 3.5 hrs as a professional mover

Or "How I got fired on my training day"

Random shot while contemplating this particular piece.

30DEC2020; 1150, WED

Some of you (those friends/fam that can see my location on your phones) may or may not be wondering why I'm sitting at this lake, jamming out instead of finishing up my orientation and whatnot. I most def put in more than a few prayer requests and had no small measure of luck making it as far as I did with the company that just let me go.

So far, I've only explicitly told one person, being my dad; who rarely checks his phone for text messages; even when he's not on the clock, as I'm sure that he is now. Also, I more or less hinted at it to my neighbor who is essentially bound by his word to drop by and hand me "some Shapiros" for my old vehicle at some point this week.

At any rate, I managed to escape the headquarters facility without seriously injuring anyone, to the best of my knowledge, and only a couple of extremely minor abrasions to myself. Between the 600 lb piano and the supposedly 250 lb dresser that served as a strength test, along with my complete and apparent ill regard for my twenty-four hour, outdoor gym as of late, those abrasions were all but inevitable.

The dresser was required to be taken up and down a flight of stairs twice in a row by each pair of new hires. Once going up the stairs backwards, and the second time with the roles reversed. The piano on the other hand had to be cleared a bare minimum of six inches off of the ground, also back to back; in different positions, for a total of at least twenty seconds.

Random: I'm hoping and praying that I don't get kicked out of this park again arbitrarily; but then again, maybe I'll actually learn the reason that the police randomly close down this park during daylight hours; considering that I neglected to get a decent explanation the first time around. I digress.

You want to talk about a bamma being completely out of breath after dealing with the dresser, and/or legs resoundingly quaking after making due with the piano? The very last request of me before I quit was to do the "test of might" "one more again" due to poor performance the first instance of me going up and down the stairs with it a couple times.

"I'm just a little inferior in some areas"- Joey Bada$$ on the intro, "Save The Children" to his debut studio album, "B4.DA.$$" (20JAN2015). I am without question looking forward to my twice weekly runs with a best bud, that I def took for granted up until recently, starting again this evening (Lord willing).

In any event, I most certainly bombed the most recent three interviews in a row with this particular company, in my humble opinion (IMHO). Between being late for the last two, and hardly doing any research on the company before my second overall interview...

Glaring mistakes not withstanding, I unquestionably regret skipping leg day so darned much when I was in high school, the military, and just in general really. I will not repeat that mistake again, save the zombie apocalypse that Max Brooks is more or less predicting.

To double back briefly, the company has a no tardy personnel policy for interviews and trainees, and I was being strongly considered despite them knowing about my terribly written blog posts, along with my debatably "controversial" tee shirt bizz, Peaceful Tidings. As a result, I was inclined to keep giving the "tryouts" an honest effort given pretty much any circumstances granted the graciousness of the company and what have you.

Regardless of sincere regrets, I'm grateful for the opportunity to "shoot my shot" with the company and such, if for no other reason than the CEO's book that I just purchased, and would've never thought about considering had they not offered me the job of potentially being his driver. Had I somehow survived the training day and a two week trial period, I would've been been pulling at least five days a week at about twelve hours a shift, with the feasibility of essentially random gratuity and bonuses throughout.

Tl;dr- I'm praying that the company continues to have unbelievable success and unrivaled customer satisfaction. Also, I'm looking forward to taking the invaluable lessons learned into the New Year, and hoping that the CEO finds a new driver or two who are generally ideal for his parameters. Peace for now.

P.S.- At least I didn't get fired on my day off! (Rest In Power, Mr. Tommy Lister and Mr. John "Pops" Witherspoon.)

Darrius Dickerson
Darrius Dickerson
Read next: Why Denny's Is the Perfect Starter Job for a Cook
Darrius Dickerson

A Grunt that’s been stuck in traffic for the past 15+ years, it seems; from DC to SEA & Iraq, to back in The District. I love my Little Monsters more than life itself. Born Day: 4/20.

P.S.- My Drumpf posts were prev. posted w/ diff. pics.

See all posts by Darrius Dickerson

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