Memories: 30 September 2023

30 September 2023

3.08 home from a great night of dancing for Ramjet at the Brooklyn Standard. I am exhausted but content. I walked back to the Uptown centre barefoot. It felt nice walking on the cool damp ground. I will have to wash my feet now. Also take off my makeup!

Time to resume my old lady Hobbit persona. “Killer Queens” can only rock out for few hours a week now. Better than nothing. 🙂

https://youtu.be/OklCLIhbwxg?si=6CxTMB2mXgx_bPNz

…

11.08 pm I am watching “Encounters”. Near the end of episode three I hear “Present at the door”. I thought “What? Why would anyone leave me a present at the door…it’s not my birthday and I am not expecting anything.”

Also it’s late at night. But curious as always I get up and opened the door and had a look outside. I stopped to have a stretch on my front entry.

I came back inside and sat on the couch… bemused with my spirit messenger. Then I realised they probably meant “presence at the door”. But I saw or heard nothing and no one so that’s a bit odd.

I guess I must be bored or lonely, hoping for a surprise visitor. Meh. I guess if they are telling the truth, I will find out in due course.

30 September 2022

So I am sitting here staring at the moon. The moon is staring back at me. I just watched “Moonfall”. The moon is mine. I am trying to decide if I am going dancing this evening. It’s almost 9 pm and I should be getting ready by now.

But I woke up early this morning and feel a tad tired. Also I am a tad sick of dancing with young women who refuse to wear underpants. It’s gross!

I was going to buy some disposable paper panties to gift them if/when they show up. But why waste money on depraved soulless zombies? Although flicking them a pair of disposable paper panties would be hilarious!

So what now…am I gonna dance tonight? Or what?!

The moon looks like a bowl of milk waiting to be supped on by a giant cat. What’s new Pussycat?

I just read that Venus is in Libra and that bodes well for love and romance, especially for air signs and even Taureans.

But I am Aries and as usual I am on fire, burning myself down and beginning again while Aphrodite looks down and picks ear wax out of her ears and clamshells out of her …Nevermind…because She knows The Tanya has been manifesting a partner for eons.

Dancing as fast as she can…sloughing off the nogoodniks and the knickerless ones, and men that are predatory creepy facsimiles that fake love like a macabre monstrous unrequited nightmare without end.

But all things end eventually…even macabre nightmares and unrelenting realities.

I will dance! I will shift the timelines to a kinder, more beneficial outcome. I will love myself back to full health, vitality, vibrancy, Joie de Vivre, by dancing and imbibing only the best with my gods.

I will be my own best, most loyal faithful lover. I was not born of woman and no man shall be allowed to befoul or confound me ever ever again. Got it? Got it! Good.

But that milk saucer of a moon says otherwise. Thrice the brindled cat hath mewed. But the gods killed all my beloved cats. So now I am cat less and that does not sit well with me. But I have the dog and bird still. Noble staunch beloveds. I have the Dance.

Maybe not tonight. I can’t decide. Too tired. Too aware of all the spiritual signalling all week. I might see someone I would rather not meet. I might see no one. I might just exist in my own safe world with my smiling moon, the deceiver and the night that stretches into eternity.

Bregje Tit: Don't go! Mercury retro is square Pluto. Old skeletons from the closet time. Stay home and mew to the moon!💖

O I see a skeleton right there already! 🤣

Me: Mama T. Creature of the night..and habit. I had to force myself a little to go out but I have had a wonderful time! 🙂

Me: Bregje Tit, old re-animated corpses turned up last week. And yes it was…awkward. But I kept dancing and living my best life.

All good. Much better vibe tonight. No ghouls :-)))

Yet…but it’s 1:15 am so I think I am danced out now.

Rachel Walsh: Tanya ~ that's good; glad you had a good night out 💗✨👩‍🎤💃🕺

Me: Me too! I was really touched when Shane, the bass guitarist in the Panik button, thanked me at the end of their last set for supporting their band. I replied “you’re welcome” gave his shoulder a little squeeze and gave him a light peck on his cheek.

It’s lovely to feel appreciated in spite of my wild ways. 🙂

I am fairly sure they are all married or in relationships so I am careful to not be too flirtatious but I thought it was very kind of him to thank me. After all, the musicians are doing all the work and I just support by dancing and hamming. Which I really enjoy even though I get very very exhausted at the end of the night.

I kept dancing for another hour but I was really exhausted and said to the lovely women dancing with me (one from Samoa and the other from South America!) “you are dancing with my ghost, it’s time I went home to bed” they laughed, but I was perfectly serious. I was no longer in my body.

Usually when that happens I float about for a while then the magical and powerful fourth or fifth wind kicks in and I go berserk, dancing even more wildly but I could feel that power rising in my core and thought “oh no, not tonight Tanya…that will kill you” so tamped it down.

But I have fond and hilarious memories of years past when I allowed that to happen. Like the time at 4 am when I had my Thai tranny friend who is tall and slim, bouncing on one of my knees, and my sweet Korean acupuncturist man friend who is short like me but very fit, bouncing off my other knee and I was in this half-squatting position and still to this day I don’t know how I didn’t fall over in my very high boots!

Fourth wind Tanya can do anything. But it’s a superhuman feat older me tries to avoid now lmao

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1:11 pm another beautiful day in Paradise, even with a large carpet snake on the loose in my garden!

Snakes represent kundalini and sexual energy. I will have to be on the look out for a new potential partner although the last one I met a few weeks ago was not suitable as he was too sleazy. Hmmm. Hmmmm.

…

I woke up early this morning. (8:15 am). I was dreaming that I went to visit some people who lived on a beach. I walked through their house. There were quite a few kids there. I passed them in various rooms. Said “hello”.

I greeted the husband who was busy working on some timber project. He was very warm and welcoming. Then I walked through the house and onto the beach. The sand was coarse and blackish coloured.

A woman friend was with me. She looked a bit like Julie. I told her I wanted to dig in the sand for sea glass or semi precious stones. She said “Go ahead, there’s plenty there”.

I didn’t quite believe her but set myself to work, gouging out clumps of wet black sand with my fingers. I found beautiful pieces of semi precious stones, all smoothed by the sea. I picked pieces out. Amethyst, mookite, lapis lazuli, a yellow coloured one that was not citrine but some kind of agate. I scratched in the sand and flicked through each clump, delighting in the abundance.

I stood up and looked back at the beach. I had left trails where I had dug into the sand. Julie, slightly irritated with me said “Oh look at the mess you made of the beach”. I rolled my eyes. The sea will smooth it all over at high tide. But I went over to my trails of kicked over sand and smoothed it down a little.

I gathered my little pile of semi precious stones up and shoved them in my pockets. Feeling satisfied with my hard work and prospecting.

Then I woke up.

30 September 2020

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Menopause is killing me,

Men on “pause” is distilling me,

Abusive men tried but failed to actively kill me.

So here I am... Febrile and Fervent but ever observant!

:-))))

My Muse does not Amuse itself with Abusers.

It has better fish to fry. Flying monkeys and prosaic Berserkers. Beware!

…

I told “Paul” the dentist at QE 2 hospital that the tooth has resolved itself after he patched up the filling he did last week but I have come in person to tell him that I found his treatment utterly appalling last week and I am disgusted.

He just said okay and dropped his head. Evil fucker. Seriously. I told him I hoped I would not be seeing him again in a years time (only to find out the waiting list is now 2 years!!!)

If only my career options had not been stymied by complex ptsd and varied abuses I would never be subjected to this general systemic abuse and high level incompetence!!!

I came out of the entrance to discover a woman of my vintage had fallen over and by the time I walked to my car she was still on the ground. I walked back and asked the staff why in a hospital was she still left sitting on the ground?! They said they were going to get a wheelchair! I said one should be kept near the front door at all times!!! It’s a hospital where people leave feeling triggered and falls easily happen.

Wtf?!!!!

It’s time the Health Rights Commission were more active in public hospital systemic abuses. I suppose though...they are just as fucking apathetic as ever!!!

This cuntry is a giant festering obliteration of incompetence from woe to go!!!!

30 September 2019

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It’s getting a bit cold on Belongil Beach. But Beauregard is rejoicing in his digging and ball chasing. I am loving the sound of the ocean and the peace on the beach. Reminds me of my childhood spent escaping my ghastly family. Only on the beach do I truly feel safe and contented.

I have to go pick up the intrepid kayakers in an hour. I hope they are having a marvellous time. I worry they might be too cold but I figure with all that paddling with the oars they will be too exercised to feel the cold much.

…

30 September 2018

30 September 2017

30 September 2016

10.20 am still in bed but might get up soon. Might. Get. Up.

Mind is willing but flesh is weak. Cough sitting at the top of my Lungs. Back on Seretide I go. Buggar it.

…

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I woke up at 6.30 am 8 hours sleep. Brewing another chest infection ergo not sleeping much. It is very weird to be alert so early in the morning. Alert but still tired.

Rebirthing. Half-awake half-asleep like a schizophrenic Siamese twin. Trapped in the same body with all of me. Squeezing out the sides. I hate to leave but I hate to stay. Awful state of being.

But it is a beautiful day. The storms hit at 2.30 am which woke me briefly but relaxed the barometric pressure from all day yesterday which had me stir crazy.

The sun is shining. The garden is rejoicing after its lashing of fresh rain. The Tanya is ok. Hanging by her fingernails for her next adventure. Manifesting. Wishing hoping yearning for the turning of the year. Soon will be 5777. I pray a good year. This one has been a vast improvement in last year's horrors.

Recently there have been lots of closures from the past: David Davidson and recently that slanderous hag Pam H. Via their respective children. Hashem sure does MOVE in mysterious ways. Like diarrhoea. But the process took decades to eventuate and why these closures had to come within 3 months of each other who knows but G-D…I just want peace and happiness and a little more fun before I die but I am glad that karma is being meted out. One by one. All good.

30 September 2015

30 September 2014

3 detectives came to my door this morning looking for Gita. Hmmm!

This arvo, Crystal came to collect her bunnies. She took me to KFC then we went to Aldi then home.

I feel exhausted today. Another chillaxing day and night methinks.

…

I had a nice night. I went to pick up my girl from the airport. She bought me beautiful Mermaid earrings. She also bought Maccas as I was starving. I had spent the evening, washing, making a bamboo shape to spread the netting out around my strawberry pot to keep the possums and birds away from the fruit.

I also re-potted the gerbera. I got 3 plants out of it but also found earthworms in the mix which is probably why she didn't flower much 😞.

My blueberry is flowering so I need to buy more bird-netting to keep the varmints away from that bush as well. It's very spindly so it might not get much fruit.

I also spent time yesterday and today killing stink bugs which were all over my lime tree. My right hand is all stained yellow!

My feet are still aching from my epic weekend and I am still quite weary. Another day to rest tomorrow I think!

I also trimmed Sookie and Ramon's nails. Sookie's were very long but she was a good bunny and let grandma cut her nails (bolshey scary grandma). But poor little Ramon! I cut one nail too close and he had a bleed. Omg! I freaked out but had to try to remain calm so he didn't freak as well! He was very patient with Grandma and he got lots of apologies and smooches! Sweet Boy!

They go home with their mother tomorrow. They could smell her on me when I came back from Crystal's and I could tell they were happy she is home!

Sookie never lets Crystal trim her nails so I think that will be my job from now on. Perhaps it is best I let Crystal do Ramon in future as he is easier but has much smaller nails, being a dwarf.

…

It is time to cull all users, abusers, narcissists and people who disrespect me on our nights out.

I deserve to be treated better than being made to wait for friends who fucked off home. Rude behaviour. I know they feel worthless unless they get a fuck at the end of the night but seriously, they could have told me they were going home with a guy instead of letting me wait for hours. Not first time this has happened either. Over it!

Drunk Selfish bratty people have no place in my life. People who let me down consistently on my nights out..Adios Amigas!

I will be going out with people who enjoy my company and who don't use me as an accessory hand-maiden or a fucking taxi service. From now on, I go out alone and I come home alone.

I will meet all my mates out and have fun but I can't rely on some of them to make sure we get home together safely. I also need to know my mates have my back in dangerous situations as I have theirs.

Lone Wolf! We don't need the bullshit, we don't want the bullshit and we operate better alone, or with cool, fun people who treat us with love and respect.

30 September 2013

Sitting here with Harvey. Slept all day and still a bit tired. I need to go out like a blister in the sun but no mon so no fun! Life goes on!

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Last night Harvey and I visited Ramon Rabbit and Crystal. Harvey was fascinated and never took his eyes off Ramon. I was a bit worried as Jack Russells are Hunters, so I kept an eye on them both!

Crystal made me a lovely salad and gluten free pancake with blueberries, strawberries and Lactose free ice cream. It was delicious. I usually abhor gluten free food but the pancake was rather good. My girl is a lovely cook too.

I brought her some lucerne, bamboo leaves and rosemary and eggs and came home with a large bag of rabbit poo. Yum! The garden loves it!

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3.30 am. I should sleep and snuggle with the Harvster. His last night with me as Jarrod will be back to pick him up tomorrow...awww!

30 September 2012

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30 September 2010

Lyn and I have had fun scavenging free bricks for my garden edging from a building site. Today I found in their rubbish pile an awesome old solid timber desk which will make a great potting bench or turned upside down, a coop for my chickens I hope to get soon.

I also grabbed all the wooden offcuts for garden stakes and some pine offcuts for armrests for my newly painted castiron garden furniture. It's so cool!

30 September 2008

wishes everyone L'Shana Tova Tikateivu U'Metucha.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons