Memories: 21 December 2023

21 December 2023

8:47 am I have barely slept all night. Just awoken by a trilling serenading butcher bird, going through his repertoire. It would be lovely if I had not turned into a zombie ghost meat sack and only slept deeply since 5.01 am. It’s gonna be a crazy day. Between my bladder and my moshing mind I get no rest at all.

Oh well…happy Thursday! Life will go on!

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10:38 am I have a powerful surging of immense love running through me. It’s astonishing but soul nourishing. Gratitude to the gods, angels and arch angels and of course, the Holy One. It’s gonna be a great day (even though I will collapse with exhaustion later). But right now, I am gonna ride this beautiful wave. Love to all xxx

21 December 2022

11:11 pm make a wish and hold the vision: clear and manifested with wholesome fun and harm to none.

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Facebook is once again harassing me with restrictions now it’s the holiday season. Evil personified. Thanks Facebook. You are perverted as usual.

And whom are your “Independant fact checkers”? Spotty youths who never get out of their incel dungeons, choking on their own semen?

Artificial wombs are not false information by the way. I read about them over a decade ago in an inflight magazine while travelling to Sydney.

So your “fact checkers” are ignorant and irksome.

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21 December 2021

Happy Solstice : Northern and Southern Hemispheres. May we merit an end to Covid, to tyranny, to division. May the Sun shine on us and gift us life, renewal, joy, peace, Light and abundance and of course Truest Deepest most loyal Loves.

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I fertilised my one and only flower yesterday with pollen I was gifted by the dragonfruit farm. I think it might be working. The flower is closing up but a good solid green at the base. Fingers crossed, it fruits.

21 December 2020

Happy Summer Solstice. Arise and Shine!

Jan Attridge: Winter solstice here!

Laura Martin: Jan Attridge Same here in Canada. I'm just about ready to make like a bear and hibernate for the next three months. 🥱😴

Me: Jan Attridge and Laura and all my Northern Hemisphere friends... Happy Winter Solstice. Beat back the Ice Giants. Remember your Vitamin D to stave off seasonal depression…Love you!

(Sweltering in sub-tropical heat which is equally unpleasant!)

Rachel Walsh: Allow the Suns rays to penetrate our bodies, for it too, is the source of light. 💗✨

1:38 am Intense “Memories” this morning but some delightfully funny ones and others rather insightful.

Time to schluff at last. Laila/Boker Tov. Good night and good morning!

21 December 2019

Picking up vibes...just had a “cuddle” from spirit. Hmmm who’s that guy???! Eternal love from the Void is better than nothing.

Maybe I am imagining it and just need an actual physical cuddle! Bobo is lying beside me on the couch looking at me as though I was the most marvellous Being he’s ever seen! Lovely!

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Back home from grocery shopping. Bahhh bloody humbug. It feels like torture. But I fought my way through it, soaking up the smiles and random kindnesses of service workers and other customers.

A grey eyed Santa Claus stared straight into my eyes as I sauntered past with my trolley. I got a little triggered as Dave used to work as Santa but I think he has brown eyes. Anyway I kept walking just in case but had to laugh internally. Fucking Father Christmas probably wants to fuck me too. It’s getting a bit scary and weird.

I mean...really! Maybe being shagged by Santa might reactivate my long shutdown (on purpose!) sexuality. But on the other hand...nahhh. Daddy figures are not my thing. Although I do like pagan-hippie wild men types. Hahahaha. Fuck my life. Oh wait...it’s been Fucked with enough.

Rise above...rise above. Queen of my own Destiny. Shining vaingloriously, delightfully, desirably in the Brisbane summery heat.

Happy Tanya today! I think I will dance tonight! After the birthday dinner at Ahmet’s (silence..I kill you...!). If I am not too tired or my mood does not shift into anything untenable.

I am sitting, earthing...on the grass. Bobo is gnawing a bone. Charlie is chewing grass. I am chewing my libido. Like a grizzled piece of defunct gristle and laughing in the face of my sumptuous Cronedom.

The garden is peaceful but the energy is alive and vibrant. So many gods and spirits moving through this dimension as the veil is thin and my lungs are bad and I am being called upon to declare my honour to the holiest ones on this sacred space.

Perhaps they will give me a sign in no uncertain terms as to who really loves me, cherishes me and honours me so I can begin a new life with someone worthy of my essence.

Update 2020: Rolls eyes. That dinner was a disaster. Ended two friendships over it. Yuck!

Still no love partner on the horizon. But I have Chosen...Me!

21 December 2018

11:54 pm. Finally in bed. I had to take a bath as I found a big scratch on my foot and it was all swollen so thought a soak might be a good idea. Also wash off the sweat from the afternoon and evening.

I watched shows about ufos all night. Interesting.

Now let’s see if the Astral will let me come out to play so I can rest and rejuvenate my 53 year old body. I achieved a lot today on very little sleep which is proof that I can do anything but the epic emotional breakdowns that follow are never pretty. But I managed to only take one dive today then floated myself up with some serious mindful self talk.

Anyway, all good apart from Penny has vomited on my bed so I had to clean doona cover with enzyme cleaner as I am too tired to strip it off tonight. She is purring guiltlessly, guilefully and smugly beside me. What a Puss!

Laila Tov. Hopefully I can shut off my brain. I have a book beside me in case that does not happen. Lmao!

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I had a lovely afternoon with Lyn. We sat in my garden and enjoyed the serenity. We had lunch at Carina leagues club then came back for more serenity!

Now a glorious storm is blowing through and Lordy, but the cool winds feel good!

Then tonight more epic wildness on the occasion of the summer solstice! Also a full moon! Yayyy!

21 December 2017

Hot night. Not a breath of wind. Cicadas singing. Lots of cloud cover so no visible stars tonight. So peaceful and beautiful. Waiting to exhale.

Breathing the summer night and feeling content with my lot.

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Stinking hot morning. I celebrated life by having ice cream for breakfast.

I got news that my beautiful Friend has delivered her baby son this morning! Wooot!!!!

Now heading out to get my hair done.

Life is good!

21 December 2016

December: the time of year when both Satan and Santa parade amongst us. Horrific events causing death and destruction, bringing souls to the world-to-come, or peaceful angels wresting our children from the jaws of death and raising them up and sanctifying and glorifying them. Choose Life. Choose good. Choose. Or be Chosen.

My angels don't have wings of glory, or clay feet. They come in the multitudes, toothless, humble often broken, covering in battle wounds. They don't look or act human. For they are light beings and creatures of godly vision and mission.

They cleanse and purge the filth and corruption from within and shine light in dark places. They laugh, they cry, they never die. They are there in the maternity ward gazing with eternal eyes that see the souls we are becoming. Or the stillborn whose light they carry within them. The watchers.

They intervene only when a mission is of the highest good for one and for all. The mighty and the small. They reclaim me in my dreams, and even waking have saved me more times than I even consciously realised. The few times they saved me that I know about were miraculous by human ken.

A push in a microsecond. A lifting up. A revelation, a revolution, an epiphany. Guts and glory in the understory of the ancestral forest of my soul's journey.

Slashing and fighting and succumbing to the forces that held me back and down and out. Angels, real, gritty. Sometimes beautiful and luminous. Sometimes a lie and an illusion to add to the confusion.

Keep me safe by dulling my senses but once the light seeps into the shadow box of insanity then there is only clarity and the knowledge that the healing has taken place. No one left behind. No soul forgotten. Satiny Santa pants and sulky sulphuric legions will never curtail me. For I know your Name.

The fabric of the universe gets crumpled but the little tailor smoothes and pieces together, from the rags of the oppressed, the gown of the Bride.

You over there?! Make haste. The great Work continues and Magic (Love, Peace, Integrity and Purity) happens. So there! (Stamps feet!) exits stage left.

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*trigger warning

This season is always my most painful season. The holidays converge in an obscenity of narcissism and greed and even grooming. Children are bought and controlled with gifts. The bigger more grandiose the better.

Child victims of sexual abuse or other abuses are silenced or made unworthy of real Love and protection with grand schemes and Christmas dinners and lavish gifts while inside they are dying as no one cares to deal with their abusers or the adults protecting and/or enabling their abusers.

Been there done that, got the t shirt and the complex PTSD to show for it.

When I speak out I am Shut down by grotesque sychophants of a culture gone perverted. Part of why I am shunned and silenced is because I am a woman and the prevailing culture in that perverted little cult still abhors a female voice.

We are told even our singing is sinful. They have not even heard my sultry husky (asthmatic gaspy wheezy voice) Only my words exploded on their screens. They run and hide or threaten me yet again with defamation.

To silence the truth with threats of legal action is the ultimate cowardice and perversion. It is how the heirarchy of evil control survivors. Sit down, shut up so we can get on with what we do best. Fuck your kids.

Yesterday a former friend told me she would not take action until school goes back as Christmas is more important while her grandchild cries about her sore vagina and cries at the drop of a hat. Trauma. Fresh abuse. But a nice Christmas must be had and the child must be so happy and grateful with presents and a shiny tree and attention lavished on her when in truth she needs to see a doctor and be professionally interviewed by detectives so the abuser can be dealt with.

I lost my temper. Seriously. I was that child. Humiliated and debased by my own core family. Bought with lavish gifts of gold jewellery, dolls, exotic clothing (Mexican dresses), beaten and terrorised and told I must be a good girl, I must be grateful.

Decades later robbed of my inheritance because I dared speak out, dared fight for my autonomy, my sanity, my freedom, dared exist at all. Dared. Courage under fire. Again and again.

What doesn't kill you makes you stranger, crazier, more determined to outshine, outlive your enemies. But they claw at you, even from beyond the grave. Scratch and bite and tear your heart out. Send other ghosts of abusers, other reminders of the weak and cowardly or pure evil.

Which is why I do not do Christmas or Chanukah or any other holiday. I am not going to be made a hypocrite. I have been destroyed by the greed and narcissism of family members, by paedophiles, by bastards but I have grown past that.

You can't touch me. You can't take me. You can't make me die. Only I have that power to choose my own end to this suffering. I am not a possession, a toy, a kinetic sand sculpture that is pushed and prodded and manipulated.

I reject. I object.

God put me on this earth to achieve nothing but my own survival and self expression and my fight for safety as often and as loud as I can.

I open my mouth and a silent Scream that echoes in all 7 heavens is manifest. My eyes have seen the glory of the gods. Feasted upon beauty and bliss, in this world and in other worlds.

A blessing and curse. I have paid for my own victimhood with poverty, alienation, shunning, loss of life force (welcome back The Tanya) loss of deep loves, loss of my children, homes, future, did I mention future? Each day an encapsulated gift of survival to thrival. But how can I thrive when all around me is filth and corruption? I cannot. I am kept oppressed.

I have tried to rise above it. Perhaps one day I will. Money ain't for nothing and the betrayals are free. Fuck dat Shit.

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Elevens!!! Intergalactic waves. Heat stroke. Tooth ache. Rubs hands. The angels have our back! Let us get shit done!

Sipping lemonade in the cool of the evening. Awesome!

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Wheels are rolling, things are being dealt with, life is beautiful. True friends and true loves shine together in unity. A great and blessed Light in the dark abyss. Happy and grateful to see the beginning of justice for one child I know of. Hallelujah!

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Ahhhh rain at last. Lovely!

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On a positive note: last evening, in the midst of my dealing with the trauma of my friend's grandchild not receiving protection, Sally had a lovely couple deliver the huge outdoor umbrella to my house. I am really pleased and look forward to sitting outside in the shade of it with a nice cup of tea and a good book.

Thanks Sally xxx.

I am grateful to my awesome friends who support me. Thank you all.

21 December 2015

Me too! Good and true friends, good food, kisses, laughter, connection,integrity, peace.Love. More Love, Yet more Love.

21 December 2014

Does anyone else have trouble with their tv aerial after storms or rain. I can't get a signal on most channels. It is really pissing me off!

Aerial was bought and installed 3 years ago. Tv bought new 2 years ago. New coaxial cord about 18 months ago.

What do I have to do to get tv for my Bum-holey?

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7.30am. Mushu woke me up in time for his morning 'constitition'. Ahem. I raced him to his cat litter and he dumped obediently and with great relief then ran back to my bedroom to be hoisted by my giant Hobbit hand back into bed.

I am exhausted but must dash to let the chicky babes out then back to sleep I will go!

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2.38 am. Home from casino. Danced all night. New band. My gods, the lead guitarist was smoking hot. He looked like Travis Fimmel. (Ragnor). I lusted over him all night while I danced in my spot. If he'd had Travis's green eyes as well, I'd have torn my clothes off.

Fortunately I did not let him know how I lusted over him. (Also I am in love with Dave but hell, there is life in the old girl after all!)

Oh and I was broke so I drank water all night and 2 free lemonades from the machine. Yayy! Proof you can have fun without spending loads of cash.

I was hesitant to go out after all the shootings and terror situations but all went well.

Outside the casino I stopped to chat to the guy with the tiny Pomeranian called Minnie. He asked me how I remember her name. I said, how can you forget a face like hers? She is gorgeous. Such a little lady!

I showed him Photos of Bella and how to use Google. He was amazed. I encouraged him to buy a second-hand phone so he can have the internet too.

Now home with my very happy kitten, a growling huffy Socks (who met me at the gate as he usually does and had a cuddle).

Sophie is under the spare bed in her boudoir and Penny must be outside. The neighbourhood is quiet, apart from the droning crickets. I love this time of night.

21 December 2013

3.25 am. Heading home. I had a great night dancing at pub and as is my habit, finished off the night singing along with George the Busker. Now waiting for the bus home.

...

So just as my bus arrives some guy walks up to me and says "take me home?" So I am furious. I said "what did you just say to me?”

He says "Merry Christmas".

I said, "Merry Christmas, now Fuck off. You don't walk up to a woman on the street and demand her to take you home! Do I look like a hooker to you?"

He says "I think not!"

“Well then" I said.

I almost missed my bus thanks to some horny (handsome) but ill-mannered toad!

I am now on the bus pondering the myriad of ways and reasons to celebrate my singular and weird life.

If only men had actual communication skills and didn't wait until they are blind drunk on closing time? They would have beautiful nights of passion with quite willing women. Grrr!

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Home safe. Now chilling with a Jack Daniels and coke and chatting with my Paltalkians.

It's Dawn. I am disappointed that I am alone and Still single but it's preferable to being picked up off the street then tossed aside like garbage.

I am chastely holding out for The One whomever that man might be. Frankly after the rudeness I witness on my wild nights out, I'd rather hug crystal's rabbit, or Penny Cat.

I dreamt last night I got given a puppy but that is unlikely to happen for real.

G-d I miss Miss Bella Rosa and Zulu of course. Losing my fur family is like losing a human friend. Just as painful.

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Finally lying down on my awesome magical Frida Kahlo-esque bed. Bliss! I drank 2 Jd's to finish off a wild energetic dancing night and to celebrate my freedom albeit celibacy. No-one worth risking my heart or loins over, so glad to be home safe and alone....again :)

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Can't sleep so took a shower, rubbed coconut oil on my dry itchy skin (some relief) then drank water as I am probably dehydrated from all the dancing even though I drank water all night.

Took some Seroquel to bomb myself out but alas now have a headache.

The Romanian perve par excellence is giving me this huge old wooden tv unit so if I sleep now I won't hear him banging down my door.

Perhaps I should get up again, dress and go over there to tell him I will be unconscious all day? Then he will get all pissy and pester me even more.

He already complained that he tried to bring it over last Friday but I slept through his door knocking. Thing is I didn't ask for the tv unit thing so now I have to deal with him and be gracious at same time. Ffs!

Oh well if I fall asleep then so what? My neighbours must be used to my odd lifestyle by now - up all night and sleeping most of the day.

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Happy Summer Solstice to the Witchy/pagans close to my heart. May we be Blessed in the New Year with all good things.

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6.08 pm. Arise and shine. Boy, needed that rest. Took me til 9 am to get to sleep. Far out!

21 December 2012

The Mayan Calender is alleged to have predicted the End of the World! Well, I am still alive and standing in spite of the end of my personal world as I know it with my bloodlines.....again! Thank G-d for my friends who treat me with respect, admiration and loving-kindness!

I am glad I didn't get my kids' names tattooed on my arm after all. I would have had to chew it off! So much for the Love! I need to forget I ever had a family, ever! Destined to walk this world alone but protected by other hardy souls who truly "see" me and love me anyway!

Efrain Pardo: Niether the mayans or the mayan calendar alleged anything... just the capitalists who wanted us to consume and sell us movies about this topic did it.... and yes Tanya Arons we love you!!!

Becky Thomas: I hear ya x

Sylvia Shine: chinny chin,you will be fine. x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Me: @ Efrain, Becky and Sylvia... Love you all too! I never believe in Doomsday predictions or scenarios, that's largely because I've had way too much Doom and Gloom in my life for decades and really, after that, there is not much worse can happen to me.

So Onwards and Upwards, and yes Efrain the Mayans were smart people and I am sure they never meant for this hype to happen...glad they made that horror movie, so that the worst of the sting has been 'revealed' and does not have to eventuate in reality now. I love Hollywood 🙂

I agree, though. These negative types and fundamentalist religions that spread this crap, are obviously making a lot of money out of making the general populace unhappy, but they never got to me. I've had to debrief so many people on the reality that the world will never end but will keep on evolving that I got myself rather exhausted.

People need to believe in LIFE, HOPE, and LOVE and leave the rest of the crap in the garbage bin where it belongs.

Efrain Pardo: ..... and for this reason... here is a song for you...listen it closely... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVm8jPBhmMU Foo Fighters “Times like these”.

Me: Love it, awesome! xxx

21 December 2010

Miss Arons regrets she is unable to lunch today. Because she woke up in the morning and raised her weary head, licked the new day and went back to bed.

Oh Bon Jovi, I've screwed up your lyrics but I know you'll forgive me. Love to all. I'm actually up and awake now at 12.22 pm, so much to do so little time. That's what happens when you sleep a lot. LOL

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A Heartfelt Thank You to the kind and generous Benefactor who has helped me keep my car going for a while longer. Baruch Hashem! and Baruch to the Kindness of a Stranger.

I don't know who you are, but I am truly humbled to be the recipient of your loving-kindness. A Special Thank You to the messenger who brought me this gift of further Freedom today. Much love and Many Blessings to All.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons