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Memories: 18 March 2023

More toothy problems and in unexpected “interview”

By Tanya Arons Published about a year ago Updated 2 months ago 11 min read
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Memories: 18 March 2023
Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash

18 March 2024

18 March 2023

Today’s effort. Fourth attempt! Yet to make the sprue and insert the raw stones in place. I had it on advice to make the ring larger to increase the chances of the silver travelling around the entire circle. I still need to make an air vent through the middle of one of the moulds.

Nervous as hell as I had a lot of failure this week, including damaging my very expensive Smith Little hoses. Arggghhh.

But each day I am making the best of what I have using whatever emotional resources I can gather together…and I will attempt this ring again.

I feel like someone who fell out of a barrel while leaping down Niagara Falls teetering on the brink of my own “genius”.

I will post again, the finished outcome 🙂

But right now I need a break…time to walk Beauregard and Charley!

It’s taken me about four hours to get to this point…making the sprue and larger ring models. I still need to embed the raw gemstones. So nervous. But I am hopeful that this fourth attempt might be the Shot!

It’s 6:38 pm so I will stop to have some dinner. Last time I melted the silver in the dark but I don’t have a spot light on my soldering station so I was working by the light generated by the mapp torch.

So as my anxiety is over the top I might wait to melt the silver by daylight hours tomorrow.

Although to be frank I prefer working in the dark…there is a kind of sovereignty, not being surrounded by nosey prying eyes, judging everything I do!

My neighbours who watched me constantly, moved house today. I will miss their dear little boy Lachlan. He was such a delight.

Oh well, they moved out without even a nod goodbye. Cold as the grave. So my intuitions were accurate. They really did not like living across the street from me.

Oh well… I remain in my little house, with my dog, bird and the spirits…making my life beautiful as mere mortals don’t comprehend me or my current iteration of existence on this planet.

I have outlived more false friends, and even more dangerous monsters in human form than most ordinary folk ever dreamed about in their worst nightmares.

So I don’t mind being alone or ostracised for the merest gumption of my survival (which was not always my own idea but the determination of my angels and gods to see me overcome…and prosper!)

The journey has reached a peak speed but I will ride that mustang kwe spirit until my last breath.

Wild women and horse spirits and wolf dancers know best. Live triumphantly…even if everyone looks at you with scorn and derision and fear because they know…they know what it took for you to be here in this very moment!

Yippyyiyoooooo…on I go! Fearless (even with my moribund anxiety I push down like bile!) and free.

Fourth attempt: Stones in place. I just need to bind the flask up tight with binding wire and melt the silver and pour! … tomorrow. I worked on this all day and I am now excited and exhausted and stand in trepidation (yet again!) as to whether it will be a successful cast or not. I am looking forward to producing a beautiful ring. #titaniasrealm #magickhappens #casting #stonesinplace #rawburmeserubies #sterling silver

18 March 2021

Very ill today. I met Jarrod and Crystal at IKEA then got slammed by my gut.

I got home after 3 pm and went straight to bed. I feel weak and feverish. Not cool!!!

I will have to be more careful about my eating from now on.

Wow...so many lovely opportunities have exploded into my life like a storm of lovely confetti in the last 24 hours.

An offer to work on a project with a journalist friend, who also sent me a link to a podcast on writing children’s books.

Then while watching that this morning (at 5 am ish urgghhh) a stranger from the Art of Jewellery group invited me to her group as she makes jewellery from flatware. So I joined her group and oh my, so inspiring and they share actual videos on how to make stuff.

I feel so honoured and made welcome and encouraged!

18 March 2020

7:45 am I got woken up by a text from QE2 hospital cancelling my dentist appointment due to coronavirus. It was just a check up but I still feel Annoyed. It took hours of wrangling on the phone last week to even make the appointment.

On a happy note someone just bought (or is coming to buy) my chicken tractor. So I will have money to buy food. Lovely!

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02pny3XcknJWuVSJmo6kdR8dgujz3chgP2daGGNWGAPr31BeXKHxnQtjjfexNWpHn5l&id=1340840204&mibextid=v7YzmG

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0ND2hk8utFEA384pY513q4qECVxEyT1CohbM5rAAeMDzHBEKSXm5fuF7y7s7qy7W5l&id=1340840204&mibextid=v7YzmG

18 March 2019

….

I got a call this morning from the P A hospital. It seems I have been booked for a consult on 15 April for what I hope is organising to have my gallbladder removed. They used some jargon that did not correlate. Hippo-something. Hope they have the right surgery as I thought I was hoping to have a cholecystectomy!

Oh well. I hope that is what is happening as I am sick of feeling unwell, and walking through mud! Although two surgeries within a few months of each other (all that anaesthetic and time under is going to make my brain addled!)

Rainnnnn! Glory be, to the gods. I brought Charlie inside as he and the dog were not keen on Thor’s bellyaching!

It’s coming down heavy at my place at last. Glorious!

18 March 2018

Another awesome night! I made a new friend, a lovely woman named Nikki. Morris danced with us and we went rather Wild.

My Lounge room stinks of cigarettes. But I don’t smoke (well rarely but never in the house). I have had no smokers visit.

My lounge faces away from my crazy Indian smoking neighbour who often “watches” me at night while smoking, but I can’t blame him as there is no wind to carry the smell to my front door.

Anyway. Weird. Just saying!

18 March 2017

Just woke up with intense pain in the tooth that has played up for past month. Already taking codeine (panadeine forte) for leg pain which is bringing minimal relief. Now this!

I hope I can hold on until Tuesday's appointment. The tooth is dead but it feels tight and it feels like an abscess. It must be the nerve endings around the pulp.

I took 2 panadeine but they are not doing much for either leg pain or tooth pain. Feel a bit of a wreck as this chronic pain has been going on since mid-December with teeth and now leg.

I think they will have to pull this tooth. There is something seriously wrong with my nervous system. I will try not to freak out. I am Strong. I am Healed and I got this.

(If the pain gets worse I will go to the QE 2 hospital for Endone). I feel very triggered about my teeth as my mother wanted me to get them all ripped out and get dentures when I was 20!

"Weg Damit!" "Get rid of them!" I fought her and my own poor health all my life. Literally hung on by the skin of my own teeth. Now losing them.

I guess it is time to accept that my teeth are done. But hopefully I can hold on to the rest lmao.

Farkkk. Just found gas on. Since I made dinner last night! It was on 120 degrees. Wondered why it was so hot in the kitchen. Now will have another huge bloody bill to look forward to. Gahhhhhhhh!

18 March 2016

I missed out on the Community correspondent volunteer job. Not surprised. I probably did a shitty voiceover. I have never done one before. Or applied for anything in 17 years. Oh well.

Jarrod has fixed my vlog profile so when I can breathe and think and talk all at the same time I will concentrate on that. Baby steps.

1.05 am. Off to Schluff. Got backache. I drank plenty of water today and took Magnesium so no idea why back is hurting. Might be side affect of antibiotics which are pretty strong. Asthma still pretty bad but I feel a slight improvement.

18 March 2014

The back of my neck is really painful. I moshed my spine out of adjustment. Note to the Mal-adjusted...don't do it!

I got up late. I had a good sleep after the night's wild carousing. Danced until I dropped and didn't care. Penny is delirious for joy to have me home. She is one hell of a cat.

I've been grocery shopping (blech!), had a chocolate mud cake and iced chocolate (yum!) came home and cleaned the poop out of the chook tractor. Then I trimmed the strelitzia of all its dead leaves and flower stalks. I slashed my finger and palm as I accidently slipped my hand while pulling off a stalk right onto the open secateurs and bled like a stuck pig. Schmeh! I washed the blood off and kept going.

It was late afternoon and I didn't have much light left. I also trimmed the macadamia nut tree slightly as it was overshadowing my climbing rose, trimmed the hibiscus. I really need to water but with the high humidity and the growly sense I have in my guts, I am expecting a storm tonight. If not, I will have to water everything tomorrow.

So my brat also moved all the app icons around on my front screen of my iphone5. I was only out of the room for a few minutes and I even have a passcode on my phone. The Brat, must have taken advantage of it being temporarily open.

The brat has my vacuum cleaner and this is how she thanks me, by messing with my phoneeeee? Gawd I got so paranoid I had to check all my notes and messages.

Hopefully The Brat who is 28 and should know better, didn't mess up any of my other stuff. (Why did I breed??? Oh Why????) That's right, so I could have this special joy of communion and bitch about my bratty adult child on Facebook. (If only I had known back then what parenting was going to involve wayyy into my future, I guess I might not have done it!)

I will forgive the brat however as she did buy me a lovely dinner at Grill'd. Now this was something I never foresaw when she was a tiny baby. That one day she would buy me dinners, and borrow my car and help out with rego and petrol, and drive my car more than me, and fuck with my iphone ....arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I luvs a good Hanging I does! Nah I love my Girl. She is pretty awesome. Next time I visit her loo, I am taking my phone with me. Just to be safe!

3.10 am. Home safe, just had a shower to wash off the sweat and spilled drinks on me. Gross! Now fresh as a daisy and still wired. I will have to knock myself out to sleep later I guess.

I drove to Crystal's to bring her my vacuum cleaner so she could clean for an inspection. She plans on moving soon. So she needed to clean big time before tomorrow morning. Poor Kid.

I decided as I was so close to town and Irish Murphy's were still celebrating St Patricks Day that I might as well go dancing again. I had a great time, drinking only water until midnight when my pension went in and then I shouted myself a Jack Daniels. Awesome!

I noticed a sexy Viking type but he was too young for me, (dammit!) but I had a quiet little perve while I was shimmying and shaking my assets in all directions. (This Jewish Witch still has her mojo, it hasn't burnt out yet?! Dammit!)

At 2.30 am I saw Lizzie who has been working away for so long I was excited to see her. She was sitting with her partner and another guy, who was quite nice looking but alas, I was exhausted by then and well, I was getting fed up with the jostling of drunk men.

So I bolted. I guess he didn't ring ma bells baby! lmao. Which is typical of me. It's rare when I actually find a man attractive enough to throw caution to the wind.

Well, sometimes I do, but I have to be ahem, excessively twitterpated. After making a fool of myself recently, I didn't feel like repeating the same old pattern. Better to dance out my frustrations and loneliness so I'm too exhausted to care about anyone or anything except my daughter, my cat and my close friends.

I am happy for now. My fire is burning bright and sometimes I can't stand my own heat, but it's kinda awesome. I think if I wake up at a reasonable time tomorrow, I will try to get to Wynnum beach as I really do need the sea.

The sea is calling me...to cool my fire, and make me get perspective on what is real and what is illusion (or menopausal Delusions of dying old lady lust pheromones...lmao) Damn, just when I finally discovered my amazing sexuality, and start to have fun with it, I go and get old. How extremely unfair!

My Heyoka life in Reverse, the Cosmic Buttjoke, my twisted sense of humour and Great Spirit granting me all the good stuff when I'm no longer rich with fecundity or prosperity so it's a giant Tease. Oh well. Grateful woman here. At least I am getting to have some fun before I eventually Die.

I guess I need to find The One who can still make me sizzle without the frizzle. hahah.

18 March 2013

I’ve been out with Lyn, helping Julie spiritually cleanse her home. Then Lyn and I went back to her place. I brought a raw chicken and together we made a lovely roast.

We invited Annette Brown for dinner. I had two glasses of wine and thoroughly enjoyed the food.

Lyn is coming back to my place. She might sleep over at my place as Peter is away with work. it’s been a lovely day, although I was unwell with my gut and bladder.

The PA hospital rang me at midday to confirm my address details for the Sleep Study so I guess I will have a night in hospital for that soon? I’ve been on the waiting list for two years. Hopefully my sleep apnoea will have improved, so I don’t have to worry about the government taking my car license away from me!

18 March 2011

18 March 2009

I hate being a victim of the Governmental Regime that says it can make me homeless in 2 weeks for not being able to afford to/or physically able to mow my lawn.

Maybe I have a Persecution Complex...zere is a Hiztory Darlink...but I feel like I am living in Nazi Germany...is grass so very bad????

Btw why has the new Facebook got such creepy Font...where's my bold? I like to stand out in a crowd...Viva La Revolution!!! LOL In my dreams.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons

humanity
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About the Creator

Tanya Arons

I write about my life experiences. I write about complex ptsd, the agonies, the angst and my post traumatic growth. About Beauty, Truth and Honour and little vignettes of comfort from the spirits that love me: living and dead. I also Dance!

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