Lessons from Crashing an Engagement Party

Last night I was invited to a bar to sing karaoke. As a rule, I say no to karaoke. Nobody wants to hear me sing. But my partner and his friends are musicians and so (making him pinky promise that I wouldn’t have to perform) I decided to say yes.

When we arrived, there was no karaoke. The regular Friday night bar schedule had been changed to accommodate a drum and bass event — the throb of which was already vibrating through the roof from upstairs.

Drum and bass definitely does NOT feature in my top-two-hundred-things-I-like-to-do list. But I was in a yes kind of mood. So upstairs we went.

Wedding Crashers

We were greeted by a young woman in her twenties sporting blonde pigtails and a congeries of florescent accessories. She held her arms out wide and said, “I’m Meghan, this is my engagement party!” and hugged us.

Meghan’s friends were all similarly attired. Most of them radiated in full florescent under the black lights. Some of the girls wore leg warmers, highlighter-pink headbands, and very little else. Some of the guys wore low slung sweatpants, fake gold chains, and oversized dollar signs around their necks. A room full of ‘80s rappers called Lil Mikey or Something Dog.

It was weird. It was loud. It was not at all my typical idea of fun. But, regardless, it turned into a great night.

It’s not easy to say yes to things that fall outside of your comfort zone.

As a professional freelance writer for over ten years I have experienced this many times. I’ve been offered jobs that fell way outside what is familiar or comfortable for me. And sometimes I said no.

I said no to writing an erotic short story, no to ghostwriting a full-length indie novel, and no to the student who wanted his thesis written for him.

I said no to the guy who wanted me to create persuasive advertorials about the magical properties of his new jewelry range.

I said no to clients that didn’t want to pay fair rates and no to those who had unrealistic demands.

If you are starting out in freelance writing, you will need to decide what you say no to and stick firmly with it. Don’t compromise your standards.

But, other times, you also need to be brave and say yes, even when it feels uncomfortable.

When to say yes

I was offered a job recently that I really wanted to say no to. The job involved writing copy for business marketing. The majority of my work involves writing human-interest feature articles: psychology, relationships, parenting. Business copy sounded like the least interesting thing in the world to write about. Not only was it outside of my expert knowledge-base (so I’d have to work harder researching the topics just to understand them), it was also way outside of my field of interests.

I thought about it for a day. Then I offered them a price, one that would allow plenty of room for extra research time, and said yes. Then I felt ill.

That sinking feeling

There’s always that awful moment of doubt with any new writing job.

I’m sure I’m not the only writer that experiences this. For me, doubt sets in pretty quickly after the initial excitement of securing a job. What if I just can’t do it? What if it’s the worst writing I’ve ever done. What if they hate it, refuse to pay, and I do all that work for nothing?

Something amazing happens though when you take a chance and say yes. After you get over yourself and stop panicking, learning to write in a new style about an unfamiliar topic is incredibly invigorating. The mental challenge of writing outside of your area of expertise stretches you and lifts your writing to a new level.

Not only did I start to enjoy writing marketing copy for my new client, they became one of my favorite clients. Every time they message me with a new job outline, I get really excited.

Say yes if...

If you’re saying no because you think you can’t do it — say yes.

If you’re saying no because it’s not in your niche — say yes.

If you’re saying no because you would need to learn something new — definitely say yes.

If you’re worried they won’t be happy with your work, just take on a small job first. Test it out. Write 1000 words for your client and check that your style meets their requirements. But be brave and say yes.

Your writing and your freelance business will benefit because of it!

One of the best things about being a freelance writer is the variety we get in our work. There are definitely benefits to carving out a niche for yourself. I have certainly found it helpful in my career to specialize. However, we also learn a lot from writing outside of our niche.

Say yes to those opportunities that stretch and challenge you. Say yes to the job you think you’ll hate. You might just end up having fun.

Kelly Eden is a creative nonfiction writer and mentor, published in Mamamia Australia, Apple News Spotlight, Zoosk and more. Check out her Personal Essay course and get your stories published too.

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