Leave us alone

We are all born with a drive. Call it what you will, motivation, inner voice, a calling, the deepest desire in all of us, pulling us towards something. Something that we know we were meant for.

Somebody is born, grows up, and if that somebody is lucky, knows exactly what he or she was born to do. I knew I always had a natural talent for art. Painting to be exact. My grandfather was artistic, my mother is the best artist I know. Seriously, is there anything that woman can't do? I knew I wanted to be just like them. An artist. And so that's what I became.

Don't get me wrong, the familiar saying "practice makes perfect" is all too real. I remember an experience where my mother had signed us up for an art collaboration. We each were given a small tile to which we were to paint a small picture, provided we used the colors provided. Once done, all the tiles were placed together and formed one gigantic picture. I knew exactly what I wanted to paint and wholeheartedly believed that if I followed my mother's instructions to a T, it would turn out as perfect as I pictured in my head.

How wrong I was

I remember comparing my finished tile to the tile of my mother's, and how disappointed I was. It didn't look at all like I had hoped. After conveying this to my glorious mother she just laughed. And reminded me that "practice makes perfect"

And in my 12-year-old brain, I vowed right then and there... To never pick up a paintbrush again.

That vow didn't last long. With my mother's encouragement, I continued to practice. Trying to find my medium. Trying to find my place in the art world. I tried watercolor, digital character design, oil painting, ceramics, acrylic, sculpting, anything you could think of in the art field, I tried it.

And after 11 more long years of practicing, I can say that I think I've finally found it.

Through those years of practicing and searching, one thought kept coming to my mind. "What do I want to do with this talent I'm trying to find?"

Why do I want to find it so bad? What's the point?

Where I grew up and the environment around me was very much like a horror movie...or so I thought. My worst nightmare was being like everybody else. All the people in my neighborhood who lived in practically the same house, whose kids were all into the same things, whose husbands all had the same job, etc" I was never a part of the "mold" And I was always frustrated because growing up I thought I had to be. I had to go get the same degree as my peers, work the same job, decorate my house in the same minimalist style. And I thought that my art would always be just a hobby, something to do on the side if I had time.

And that infuriated the crap outta me. Why was I going to spend all this time on a talent if I can't use it the way I want? And whenever I expressed this to friends, coworkers, etc. All I heard was that that's not how the world works. Artists don't make any money! You're going to be broke, what are you going to do if nobody buys or likes your art?

And of course my favorite one "It's always nice to dream"

If only we understood the utter idiocy of that statement. Is that not just telling our children and friends to not get too attached to their dreams. Accept a cubicle job and minivan. And maybe, if you're lucky, you can look forward to an occasional vacation.

You would think that we have learned by now not to say that. If people we told that statement actually believed it, there would be no airplanes. No woman's rights, horseless carriage, no free country, no equal rights, no race equality, heck, the earth would still be flat. Puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

So why can't I be an artist? why can't you be an actress, doctor, professor, famous singer, mom, dad, unicorn, whatever!

Answer me this, what is stopping you from becoming the thing you've always wanted to be? What is stopping you from living your dream, from following the dream that you've had, that perhaps sometimes you push to the back of your mind, to focus on "reality"

What even is reality?

Call this far-fetched, but I believe that we are given our dreams and talents for a reason. We all have our dreams, unique to ourselves. That we could use to make the world a "better reality"

So, what's it going to be? What's stopping YOU?