Learn to See People Inside Out

See people from the inside out and not the other way around

I’ve never really been what I call a surface person, that is judging someone solely by what’s on the exterior. Getting to know a person from the inside out has always been important. I’m talking about character, strengths, empathy, compassion, and all the good stuff.

There’s an old saying that you should never judge a book by its cover, and the same can be said for people. You should never judge someone based on their looks, their clothes, or anything else that is external. Instead, judge them based on their character.

Character is what makes a person who they are. It’s their morals, values, and ethics. It’s how they treat other people and how they behave in different situations. A person’s character is the most important thing about them.

Unfortunately, too many people are judged based solely on their looks. This is what I mean by right side out, and I say right side out should only be practiced when you’re doing your laundry.

So she’s wearing a wig, who cares?

When I was a teenager riding a school bus, I remember there was a girl who had on a wig. I don’t know the reason and it wasn’t important. But someone on the bus noticed it too and decided to pull it off. I was mortified for the girl and didn’t understand why the person who pulled it off decided to be mean that day.

Judging people by their looks is done all the time. People are sized up based on their looks, their clothes, their cars, their homes, and their jobs. We make all sorts of snap judgments about them without taking the time to get to know them from the inside out.

What if we took the time to get to know people? What if we looked beyond the superficial and judged people by what’s inside their character? It’s not as easy as it sounds, but it’s worth the effort.

People are judged on their clothing or their weight. It’s so easy to get caught up in that way of thinking and judging others based on their appearances, especially if the environment you were raised used that as an example of raising you.

Please don’t make fun of people

This is probably the worst right-side-out behavior you can have. When you judge someone, never make fun of them. It might feel good at the moment, but you’re just perpetuating the cycle of judgment and making it harder for everyone involved. You’re influencing others to practice the same type of negative behavior.

Instead, try to understand why you feel it’s necessary to make fun of people. As we mature, we know a lot of that comes from some type of insecurity.

I know this from experience. I was always the kid with the funny last name because it was a crayon color, I had freckles, and I was half-Asian. And trust me, I got made fun of enough. I also noticed the kids who would either join in or who looked like they were as embarrassed as I was.

Kids can be pretty mean. They can be the target of mean gossip. A lot of parents used to say, sticks and stones can hurt your bones, but words can never hurt you. Well, that’s just not true at all. The name-calling was hurtful. I never let it make me feel small, I just didn’t understand why it was happening. That’s the best part about growing up. The awareness kicks in.

Because of those experiences, I’ve learned it’s better to not judge people or make fun of them. I was also taught to treat everyone the same.

What really matters is a person’s character

A character defines a person and makes them who they are. The next time you meet someone, try taking a step back and getting to know them before you judge them. You might be surprised at what you find!

Most people would agree that it’s important not to judge others, at least that’s what I hope.

Don’t look for something to judge either. Look at a person inside out first, always.

We’ve all been there before

How many times have we been in the heat of the moment with a subject and then all of a sudden we say something we didn’t mean? It’s something we regret for days.

However you were feeling in the moment, you can’t ever take back what you said. The other person may be hurt, upset, or frustrated with you. Further still, how about someone being disappointed in you? I personally feel being disappointed in someone is worse than being angry.

That’s why you think before you open your mouth. We know that’s key. It’s also a sign of maturity. It’s always important to remember that people have feelings, and those feelings are important.

You could be feeling crabby, but that doesn’t give you the right to take it out on someone. Handle your crabbiness. Talk about it with someone.

The next time you’re in a moment, when you’re looking at yourself inside out, and you’re feeling negative words pile up in your mouth, remember you can’t blurt it out. You don’t want to have regret. You can save yourself some hurt as well as the other person’s feelings if you step back and do what my mother used to say, zip it.

If someone you know is going through a tough time, the best thing you can do is just be there for them and listen and convince them that nothing good comes out of anger.

Remember, you can’t judge a person from what’s on the outside. People don’t need to meet our standards. It’s easy to forget that sometimes we don’t really know what’s in a person’s heart. Also, it’s important to remember that sometimes we just don’t know what someone is going through.

2023 © Cathy Coombs